Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Holidays in the Sun 2007 and Rat Scabies visits the box.

This Rat Scabies "Sex Pistols Holidays in the Sun 2007" post will be top posted sticky for 2 months, Tina - on November 28th it can be moved.

Chriswasanon using Safari Beta 3 for Windows Opera! Well my Firefox Mozilla is bust at the moment. Something to do with Java I think....I'm waiting for Firefox 3 and I hope that the Mozilla foundation will get her done. That's enough boring tech. In case you haven't noticed, CwA blog is a punk blog of sorts and a music blog and at the moment a sort of DAMNED eclectic blog.

Floratina has threatened to dust off the blog. We all think that as do our astonishing army of ooh half a reader (Motorhead - "Lemmy visits the box" sometimes even the dizzy heights of two readers, "John Rotten visits the box"). I reason that ALL have to have a rest from the ole; Myspace, Yahoo, CNN news, Arsebook Facebook, Second Life and the BBC every now and then. We all have lives in fact. Besides the boys are back together again for some brand spanking new UK. Sex Pistols gigs. And if that isn't reason enough for me to keep a promise and post some of Rat Scabies visits the box, then what fucking else is there in life to do?

Welcome back to Chriswasanon. Still the only real source outside of www.sex-pistols net for quality transcriptions of ye olde radio show, Ye Jonesy's Jukeboxxe on ye Indie 103.1 fm cranky olde wireless valve radiogramme stationne.

More and yet more shows have been bolted on to the Sex Pistols "Holidays in the Sun 2007" tour, including a "10th caller you've won a ticket" show at the Roxy club venue. That one sounds like it could be a sort of LA. SPOTS gig. John Rotten thought so too. This machine decided to take a header down the Internet stairs the day the www.JohnLydon.com website link to www.seetickets.com was open. Ack! I eventually got on. Now all that remains is to...wait. I'm off to Manchester Inshallah! Sing: "We're the Pistols, no one likes us and we don't care..."

Yes, I wish that I was going to old London Town for Ane Brixton Academy Gigge but the Manchester Evening News venue is only just down the road from Wigtun, in Galloway. Speaking of Wigtown (briefly,) another circus is back in town. It's the Ninth Annual Scottish National Book Town Festival. There's a massive marquee parked in the square. Media types, loads of cops...Dr Ian Paisley...

Anyway. CwA! would like to advise you that if you are in any sort of a position financially or geographically to get yourself a ticket for a Sex Pistols 2007 , gig, why haver and swither and dither you dipstick? Do yourself a favour! BUY A TICKET.

Ah what do we have here? Well Missus, it's Rat Scabies visits the box. August the 8th 2005. Put your minds, eyeballs and earoles back over two 2 years. It's August 8th 2005. Courtesy of my good friend Mr. MM. Some vintage jukebox. Rat Scabies is guesting, Chairman Steve Jones presiding. Ably assisted by the Very Able Mark Sovel (Shovel) the staion engineer, though he does appear to be having some trouble keeping a straight face. Seems like a hot day outside in LA...

Steve: You’re listenin’ to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 103.1 on a lovely beautiful California day, 105 degrees, with a North Westerly, Santa Anna, Fontana, blowin’ in with bandanas...all over the manor. Yeeeeah! What was I goin’ to say? What is a porthole?

Mr. S: A what?

Steve: Porthole?

Mr. S: Portal.

Steve: (US. Accent) Portal!

Mr. S: Portal or porthole? There’s two different things.

Steve: There’s space…hole.

Mr. S: Portal.

Steve: Yeah, what is that?

Mr. S: In space?

Steve: Well what is it? You go through it and you go somewhere…

Mr. S: Yeah it’s like a doorway.

Steve: A doorway, what does it mean though really?

Mr. S: It’s a doorway.

Steve: What like there? If I go out there, that’s a porthole?

Mr S: A portal into the…

Steve: A portal into the next millennium.

Mr S: Into the…hallway!

Steve: Right but what is it? Is it something that really exists or is it, made up? When you go through space, you go through a certain place and is that a porthole?

Mr S: Well in Science-Fiction movies it’s a portal, I mean we go through a little…

Steve: So it’s just a fantasy word. It’s not a real word then?

Mr S: Yeah it’s a real word, but it depends how you use it, if it’s in space - that’s a fantasy.

Steve: OK. if it was for real how would it be used? Explain to me how you would use it.

Mr S: Mmm. That doorway is the portal into the hallway.

Steve: OK. (Strumming guitar) I see I’m getting’ nowhere with you Mr. Shovel.

Mr S: But if you’re in space, you’re lookin’ for some kinda wormhole.

Steve: So it’s nothin’…it’s not really…it’s some some flash word, like a New-Age word for goin’ through a bleedin’ door then?

Mr. S: Why are you askin’ anyway?

Steve: Cos I was thinkin’ I saw it somewhere and I’ve heard about it for a long time and a port’ole is a toilet right? Like a portable toilet?

Mr S: Mmm, (Laughs quietly). (Spacey accent) You’re talkin’ about a portal into another dimension, it that what you’re…?

Steve: Yeah, into another toilet. Yeah that’s it, a portal into another dimension. Do you ever see Dr. Who? When he used to go into that box and, they should have one for one of them portable toilets. That’d be the new Dr. Who instead of that police phone box that they used to use. In one of them you know – outside building sites? Like a portable toilet? That’s where I’d want my porthole, yeeeeah.

DR WHO disappears into a space-time continum portal.

Steve: And we’re waiting for our guest today, I’m sure he’ll arrive…

Mr. S: He’s about to come through the portal.

Steve: Oh is he outside?

Mr S: Yes.

Steve: Rat Scabies is comin’ through the porthole? Lets play a few songs and by the time they’re finished Mr. Scabies will be here in the hole of many ports, take it away Mr. Shovel.

After a short set….

Steve: …And in the studio we have Mr. Rat Scabies! Hello Rat!

RS: Hi how are you doin’?

Steve: Jolly good. You’re real name is Chris Millar, right?

RS: It is.

Steve: Do you like to be called Chris or…

RS: At my time of life really it’s about if the other person can ‘andle it. Cos not everybodys happy calling me “Rat.” (indecipherable) Most people do but it’s whatever you’re comfortable with.

Steve: I only know you as Rat.

RS: Yeah.

Steve: Chris Millar sounds almost like, “normal.”

RS: Well the thing is you see, when I first started getting called, “Rat” it was easy to imagine that it wouldn’t really last more than a few weeks and then I thought, “Then I’ll take up me proper musical career,” you know.

Steve: Right. So did someone else give you that name?

RS: Yeah it was ummm, I dunno who it was whether it was Mick or Tony cos it was that whole London SS. thing I don’t know if you remember that?

Steve: Yeah Mick Jones used to come down with us and he had his long hair and the spandex. (Check www.myspace/sexjones in Steve’s pics for a picture of the early Clash).

RS: He used to look like Mott the Hoople.

Steve: Johnny Thunders he looked like from the Dolls, kind of like that.

RS: Yeah.

Steve: Yeah Mott the Hoople.

RS: Kind of long hair and leather trousers and scarves and all that.

Steve: Yeah.

RS: And him and Tony well they were the same weren’t they really, they both had the same look going and they had this well they were tryin’ to put a band together I suppose which was the London SS. And they had, Brian Jones was playin’ the guitar and I had scabies at the time, I was…

Steve: You had scabies?

RS: Yeah. Which is a small cuddly affectionate mite that lives underneath the skin which you can’t see.

Steve: Do you know how you got it?

RS: Er shakin hands with someone - particularly - you know. (Sounds like a very heavy infestation).

Steve: Really?

RS: It’s not an STD (Sexually transmitted disease) or anything like that no it’s just…

Steve: So you had no idea where you got it from?

RS: It suddenly hit and that was it. And I was itchin’ and it had all turned septic cos I couldn’t get rid of it and I kept scratchin’ and they:

“What’s wrong with you?”


“I’ve got scabies.”

RS: And I think it was a rather spiteful Tony who said that he thought I looked like a rat while I was playin’ so the moniker got thrown on me there and then really.

Steve: Well then…then you did milk that look. The “Rat” look.

RS: Well yeah, I did my best to be as rodent-like as possible really, I you know (makes smacking sound with lips and teeth imitating a rat).

Steve: (Laughs). Excellent. Oh it’s the same with Rotten. Johnny Rotten got his name because I said his teeth was all bad, they were like “Rotten…”

RS: Yeah…

Steve: And that kind of stuff. It wasn’t no big, you know, let’s sit down and think of names for ourselves…

RS: It’s a London thing really cos you know rememberin’ long names like Lee and Luke is a bit much, innit? Same with Johnny.

Steve: Right. Pete…

RS: Yeah so you know . It’s easier to…it’s an easier way to identify people. Plus it was the dole (Unemployment Benefit) an’ all you know like, cos if you was “Rat Scabies” you weren’t Chris Millar. So you could go and sign-on and still get yer Giro. (Benefit for claimants was paid through the Post Office Girobank cheques system then, cashed at a designated Post Office. Signing on meant signing a piece of paper stating that you had been, “unemployed…and able to do any work but unable to get any,” or something.)

Steve: Excellent, so that song we just played, “Morning bird,” that kind of disco-ey. It says on here, “The Damned,” but you never remember – do you find anything…

RS: That definitely isn’t me.

Steve: ‘Old on. Yeak OK. I’m readin’ the paperwork, it’s off of "Velvet Tin mine" CD. A best of which has got a lot of Glam stuff on it so I’m just readin’’ere a bit about. It says The Damned. (Steve reads off the sleeve notes)…” The mysterious Damned were likely to be one of Mikey Dallion’s? session men…confessions. As the single was released on Young Blood label, its naggin’ riff was half-inched – that means its pinched – from Geordies, “All because of You.” But “Morning Bird” has a Chicory Tip-like appeal. Well they still don’t say…is it the Damned here do you know? That’s weird. I think there’s a lawsuit there mate.

RS: I think there is.

Steve: All 10 copies that were sold, I think you might…

RS: …Reach for my lawyer and go for me 25 cents.

Steve: Yeah I think you might get it. I think you got a strong case there. Usin’ the Damned name and it ain’t even the Damned. So what’s goin’ on wi you, do you er…do you talk to the lads or is that turmoil?

RS: Er. No I did a bit of playin’ wi Bryan the other day.

Steve: Bryan James?

RS: Yeah.

Steve: That was one of the big questions, whatever happened to Brian James?

RS: He’s livin’ down in Brighton, sorta quite ‘appily…

Steve: He’s not broke?

RS: I wouldn’t say he was well-off. But he’s down there in East…There’s a bit of a scene down there with a studio and he does some production and a bit of playin’ ‘ere and there.

Steve: In Brighton?

RS: Yeah…

Steve: A lot of people have moved down there.

RS: Well it’s near to London innit, it’s like…the nearest sea point…

Steve: It’s an hour innit on the M1. (Motorway or Freeway, Autostrada, Autobahn etc)

RS: Yeah not even that, down the A23, you’re there.

Steve: A23 on the…

RS: Train to Victoria. (Victoria rail station in London)

Steve: On a Bonneville. (Triumph Bonneville motorcycle) ‘Undred miles an hour…

Image of a '71 Bonny swiped from www.vintagebike.co.uk

RS: Yeah.

Steve: Er..is he er? What kind of stuff you playin’ like ‘ard rock or…

RS: It’s a new project… I’ve just been asked to do it, somebody just wanted to try their arm (Have a go) at singing really and wanted someone who could play a loud guitar and that, so we got…I got Brian to do it and then we got someone else you might know…Do you remember the Heavy Metal Kids? Ronny Tomas, the bass player from them. He’s livin’ down in Brighton as well so I thought we’d make a day of it by the sea-side and put down a bit of a track.

The Heavy Metal Kids.

Steve: Take yer buckets and spades.

RS: Yeah exactly.

Steve: I play him all the time, Heavy Metal kids, all the time.

RS: Oh, well they did an album a little while ago didn’t they. You sent me a copy of it.

Steve: No that ain’t the same, no I like the old stuff. I got to say.

RS: Well the first album has got some brilliant stuff on it, like, “We got to go and…”

Steve: Brilliant.

RS: Some classic stuff on it but and then…I dunno, they – it was a bit unfortunate cos I suppose we turned up and they were just decidin’ to go into Prog Rock and opera weren’t it?

Steve: Yeah

RS: Yeah and they made the wrong album at the wrong time but “Kitsch” did have a few good tunes on it as well though even though it was rotten. It had, didn’t it have, “She’s no Angel,” wasn’t that one of the songs on it?

Steve: Well that’s on the first album too.

RS: No, no, no that’s later.

Steve: It is?

RS: Yeah now the very first album they did didn’t have any of the sort of like the “Crisis,” “ “The cops are coming.” That was like the second one I think. But the first one was definitely, it was just like more normal songs and like a lot of Reggae things they had on it.

Steve: Well they had that one kind of Reggae thing…

RS: “Run around eyes.”

Steve: I’m tryin’ to think of a play…the list on that first album. Awww but I play it all the time, don’t I Shovel? Tell ‘im.

Mr. S. Yeah.

RS: Well I believe yer, I don’t have no reason to…

Steve: It’s really hard to get hold of, not many people know about it.

RS: It’s not on CD.

Steve: I know this person. I knew made it all fancy to look like it was a proper CD, got the Art work and everything…

RS: Oh right.

Steve: Yeah but on that one they just knocked out, they put a lot of it on there too.

RS: Er yeah, I suppose…why not.

Steve: But they were a great band. I used to see them down the er..Grey…um…

RS: Well they used to play everywhere, didn’t they the Marquee and the Grey’ound.

Steve: No er, place in Fulham though, the Grey’ound.

RS: The Grey’ound, yeah they was always on there. I used to love ‘em, I thought they were great cos at the time you know, that pubrock thing was…there was quite a lot of energy and aggression in it, like the Feelgoods, Lee Brilleaux was sort of quite frightening when he’d be singin’ an that.

Steve: He was great to watch, yeah.

RS: Yeah they were really good and the Heavy Metal Kids were entertainment and they were sort of…in a way he was a bit rebellious when he’d do all that sort of biker thing with the chain and some of the little stories and that.

Steve: Right. Theatrical weren’t it?

RS: It was! And then I think really when we turned up they were sort of a bit of an influence. It was what we wanted to do. But really we were the real thing rather than sort of pretendin’

Steve: Well they were playin’ they were actin’ it, yeah.

RS: They were pretendin’ to be the part and we were sort of there goin, “Oooh, I can do that.”

Steve: But it was still good though, I’d still rather watch them than…watch some blokes wearin’ cardigans,. Know what I mean?

RS: I think yeah absolutely.

Steve: Excellent, we’re gonna visit the Duke. We’re here with Rat Scabies or if you like, Chris Millar and (Sound of cell phone going off). I think I have a football result, one second please. Yes it’s 2 nil. Chelsea are beatin’ West Bromwich Albion. We’re gonna visit the Duke. Thanks for listenin’

A sound sample that sounded as if it came from a Carry on film played? Charles Hawtrey and Terry Scott could be heard. They return after an advertising break.

Steve: You’re listenin’ to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 103.1 with my guest, Chris Millar.

RS: Cooeee.

Steve: Hello Chris.

RS: Ay.

Steve: AKA. Johnny Rotten.

RS: You wanker Jonesy. (Both laugh).

Steve: Rat Scabies. Hello Rat.

RS: Ay.

Steve: What was I going to say, um…you got a book out?

RS: I ‘ave.

Steve: What’s it about then?

RS: It’s about um, well it’s about me followin’ up this story of a priest who was…

Steve: A priest?

RS: A priest well he had nothing, found some hidden coded parchments, went and got ‘em decoded and then went back to the village (Rennes-le-Ch√Ęteau)and was like a multi-millionaire. And decorated the church and bought most of the village that it was in. And like fixed the whole place up and just like had more money than you could shake a stick at and did like over the doorway of the church he decorated it really weird. And so over the doorway it says like, “this place is terrible.” And he goes through a door and there’s like a big statue of a devil there. The whole thing is like (Steve’s cell phone bleeps) this priest had millions and millions. And nobody knew where he’d got it stashed or where it was comin’ from. All of the inside of the church is decorated with clues as to where the gold was hidden that he was gettin’ and usin’for this like treatin’ the village and buildin’ roads and water towers and. It’s just the story was really brilliant and in the end the priest got excommunicated by his bishop and then got re-instated by Rome. So there’s this whole sort of story and background that you know…It’s like secret societies, freemasons, The Holy Grail. It all kind of stems from this one small village in France where this priest was so. I’ve always been involved in it cos of me Dad - he’s a big sort of authority on the subject so I’ve sort of grown up with it. So a few years ago I just, a couple of years back I started gettin’ a mate of mine who lived over the road sort of drawn into the story a bit and then we just started goin’ down there an’ lookin’ in old churches and castles for…

Steve: It’s a real story?

RS: Oh yeah it’s all true. So he wrote it all up and turned it into a book about the sort of the adventures that we had, lookin’ for the loot really.

Rat's book

Steve: Oh so you went lookin’ for it?

RS: Well as much as we could yeah…

Steve: Did you find anythin’?

RS: Nuffink.

Steve: Nuffink?

RS: Nuffink, not a sausage.

Steve: Not even a coin.

RS: Well we did find a lot of other things though like um…it’s a bit like lookin’ is more fun than findin’. Like goin’ down into secret tunnels and rooms in the churches.

Steve: Catacombs?

RS: Well yeah that the priest hid. It’s like there’s this one part you go into the church and you open the cupboard door and then you pull the back of the cupboard out and then you’re in this like room.

Steve: So it’s all dodgy like little…?

RS: Oh absolutely, yeah so there’s all sorts of things goin’ on and then you…

Steve: Any young boys buried anywhere with their bums sore or anything like that…?

RS: Well. Almost certainly at some point but it’s…

Steve: Guarantee, yeah? (Both laugh).

RS: “I feel an annointin’ comin’ on.”

Steve: Excellent. Well how can we get ‘old of this book then?

RS: It’s out everywhere now. I think it’s over here. It’s called um…

Steve: What company?

RS: “Rat Scabies and the Holy Grail.” I think it’s on Thundermouth Press. (Thunders mouth)

Steve: “Rat Scabies and the Holy Grail.” (Laughs).

RS: That’s the one!

Steve: And it’s on what company?

RS: I think it’s Thundermouth Press in America.

Steve: Thundermouth Press and you can get it anywhere?

RS: On Amazon…all the…have got it and all the, I guess the bookstores have got it. I haven’t been lookin’ for it though, I’m on ‘oliday so.

Steve: I’m gonna look for it, is there any pictures in it?

RS: None.

Steve: No pictures! Forget it then!

RS: There’s a sketchy map at the beginnin’.

Steve: Forget it! I need pictures!

RS: But there’s quite big print! It’s not ‘ard…

Steve: So you can run yer finger along it when yer readin’ it…

RS: Yeah it’s not dauntin’ to read you know it’s…simple.

Steve: Is there a hardback?

RS: Errr, no they didn’t do one of them, they just did a big paperback instead.

Steve: What does that mean?

RS: Well it’s not a hardback.

Steve: But what does that mean? I’m not sure.

Click! pic for bigge

RS: Well…you know what a ‘ardback is don’t ya?

Steve: A book has paper and on the outside there’s two other bits that hold it all together. (The earliest books as we would recognize them had wooden covers. In bookselling terms front covers to hard back books are referred to as, “boards.”)
RS: The cover! The cover! That’s the one! That’s the one!

Steve: Right.

RS: That’s the back as we’re talkin’ at the moment and if it’s an ‘ard back, it’s ‘ard. (Thumps Studio desk loudly, general laughter from Rat, Steve and Mark Sovel).

Steve: So paperback is just, like, no, no hard bits?

RS: Yeah well it’s flexible paper, it’s usually slightly thicker, than the insides…Is he alright down here? (Mr. Shovel has lost control and is presumably laughing on his knees on the floor).
Steve: Havin’ a baby over ‘ere, Shovel, look! (Authoritative British Naval Officer type accent) Shovel come on, get up! Man the station Shovel! Ah well, I’m kind of clear, little bit.

Click! pic for bigge!

MS: Not a lot of reading’ goin’ on.

Steve: I’m gonna get ‘old of that. I wish you’d have put some pictures of the church or something in it.

RS: Yeah well there’s quite a lot like that out there already, so…yeah. But we really… it was ‘ard enough with a pen, let alone avin’a camera an’ all. (also)

Steve: I guess you didn’t do a lot of the writin’ down, your mate did?

RS: No! Well….yeah…you’re right, I didn’t write anythink. (More giggling in studio).
Steve: Have you ever thought of doin – why is that funny? Have you ever thought about doin’ a, autobiography?

RS: Yeah, I thought about it, then I realised I haven’t really done anything!

More laughter.

Steve: Well you did this mate! It was one of the best so called- punk songs ever, "New Rose." Can you tell us a little bit about that, when you did it. You did it with Nick Lowe, right?

RS: Yeah, um in um a little Pathway studio down in Islington, eight tracks. Dunno well we went and did it in a day really.

Steve: Had you ever been in a studio before that?

RS: Never.

Steve: Never been in the studio?

RS: Never.

Steve: You went in there…he said, “set yer gear up over there…”

RS: Yep.

Steve: And how many takes was it, do you remember?

RS: No…I…um I think it was probably more than two.

Steve: Yeah.

RS: I would say. We were done in an hour though. It wasn’t like a lot of…

Steve: You done the track in an hour?

RS: Yeah.

Steve: There’s a couple of overdubs on it.

RS: Yeah I think Bryan put another guitar and then they messed about with the singin’ for a bit, cos they do, don’t they? But I was done really, I was down the pub by the time it was…you know…

Steve: What did you think of it when you heard it finished?

RS: I thought it sounded brilliant! It was really like…

Steve: It’s great though.

RS: It was loud…I just sort of went in and I thought, “studios are brilliant cos everything just sounds fantastic!” Then it was like, there was like a proper rush cos I’d never really heard music at high volume through a good system…

Steve: Right.

RS: …Cos like everything at home was Dansettes and that… so (“Dansette,” A close and play type mono reproduction record player) and that so to suddenly be with big speakers and it was loud and ‘earing all these cymbals and it was, yeah it was on and…

Steve: Well it’s a great drum track, the whole track is great, one of my favourites…

RS: Yeah our band was, I think the thing with the Damned was that everybody was convinced they were the best one in the group. It was sort of like having four winners all at the same time and everybody is, you know and…So I think there was always a lot of energy put into individual performances cos like the Captain on this, his bass playing is like brilliant!

Steve: Yeah he’s a much better bass player than he is a guitar player.

RS: I have to say, I agree and I know there’s some people that wont go along with that…

Steve: Well they’re fools and imbeciles and jackanapes and don’t know nothing.

RS: Pass me another glass of claret.

Steve: Well let’s hear it anyway. New Rose. We’re here with Chris Millar, the drummer in the Damned and this is New Rose. Take it away….



Part two of this interview is here and the final part is here

-------------> CwA!

To be continued….probly…

Thursday, September 27, 2007


What happened to cwa,well it's been away for a good while. Have you got a ticket for the forthcoming Sex Pistols shows yet. Brixton?  Manchester.  Maybe I will see you there. Rumour has it and I hope so that Steve will announce some LA gigs for the 30th Anniversary of NMTB.

I am indebted as ever to she who would like to remain anonymous and to Chispa and to Tina for keeping the spirit alive.  Winter is upon us at Chriswasanon towers. Another book festival beckons.  

I dreamed this morning that Steve and Glen were in the kitchen and that the Pistols were playing tonight in the County Buildings. Google it.  I had to make up these posters with felt tip pens and stick them around the town. :-)

Ah well, I've got me Manchester ticket now.

What is that Steve profile pic on his myspace page?

Any ideas???

Where's rat scabies?  



Friday, June 01, 2007

From 5-31-07

Steve revisits a song. Don't know what inspired this today...he was so knackered. I hope I got it right.

My New Way Of Living by Steve Jones

And I really enjoy my new way of living
I’m all about not being selfish, but giving
I want to give
just give and give
I don’t want to be selfish anymore

I really enjoy my new way of living
I just want to be open for giving
When I see a bum
I’m just going to give him some
my loving to a bum

Cos I really enjoy my new way of living
I’m really giving love
I’m not being mean
Selfishly mean

I want to give to my favorite charity
Half of my money
I can’t stand being self-absorbed
I’m too (through?) always being alone
Cos I really enjoy my new way of living

I really enjoy my new way of giving
Throw away the chains of self-obsession
I wish I could be open to a new lesson

When I see someone in a wheelchair
I want to give them a hand across the street
I’m not going to be like the old me
Who will push them out in front of a bus

I really enjoy my new way of living
I really enjoy my new way of living

Thursday, May 03, 2007

from 5/1 The Nature Of Thieving and so forth

Steve: Did Tom put me back in his Top 8 yesterday, after that song?

Chuck: (laughs) That was a good song.

Steve: We’ll see. He probably don’t. I’m sure he’d like to hear that song, though. They’ve got a few songs about that ain’t they, Myspace? Um, that one was the best one, I think, though. That one topped ‘em all. Uh, what else is happening? I was thinking the other day, like I do. You know…your brain is always thinking, innit? Your brain is always doing something. It’s normally thinking. It’s normally thinking about yourself or something, in some form. Do you think about yourself a lot?

Chuck: Yeah?

Steve: You do, people do. They just think about themselves. All the time. I don’t know once when your brain ain’t thinking, about…situations. Don’t you wish you could turn your brain off sometimes and just not want to think, just…I guess that’s what it’s like if you have a lobotomy, right? You just kind of, you don’t think about anything but then, it’s not much else going on as well. That’s the only drag. I wish I had a little button that you could turn it off every now and again, just to have a break, just to stop thinking. But besides the point, what I was thinking about was, you know like, stealing? The concept of stealing, taking from someone else, taking from a store or whatever. The concept: taking that ain’t yours.

Now, when there was cavemen or lets say, monkeys…if you take a banana off another monkey, if a monkey took a banana off another monkey, is that stealing? Like, a caveman…if he nicked a piece of meat off something a caveman had already done, is that considered stealing?

Chuck: Yeah.

Steve: But I don’t think the concept was called “stealing” back then, was it?

Chuck: No.

Steve: You know what I mean? It’s just surviving, basically. So when did the concept of stealing start, do you reckon?

Chuck: Probably when the concept of ownership started.

Steve: Ownership, yeah. It’s a problem, innit, ownership? Yeah. I guess it’s the civilized thing to do innit, once you know better I would suppose. I suppose you can’t blame cavemen for nicking things. There was no rules back then, I guess. Hmmm. Yeah. I just trying to rationalize my own thieving when I was a kid (laughs).

Chuck: Survival.

Steve: (jokey tone) I was surviving, don’t you understand? Fools.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Sorry I haven't had many new updates lately. Mr. Shovel really used to egg Steve on and get the "Jonesyisms" flowing. Without him there, the kinds of strange discussions (with made-up nonsense songs to go along with the theme of the discussion) that I liked to transcribe haven't been happening of late. :(

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Pushing 250...

Welcome back to chriswasanon.

The part of the Internet where we bring to you the absolutely most tip top best bits of that critically acclaimed show, Jonesy's Jukebox on Indie 103.1.

Our favourite cartoonist got another buzz when the Sire used his artwork again!!! for his Sire space myspace profile page.

I can now unveil the hitherto great secret.

Stuart has been working on a comic featuring Mr. Jones. The results of that are now available at his separate site.


The Small print ABBROGATING ALL responsibility ;-) A deliberately difficult colour to read on a black background has been chosen for this.

Not withstanding the factoid that you understand the undertaking that you make to manipulate your mouse thing by clicking it either once or twice on the link does supplied not in any way indicate any prior concurrence or responsibility that you may find on this site upon leaving us (sob).



You may want to nip over there sharpish and check that out.

CwA has been busy doing boring serious things, minute secretary for the various alpaca designing committees that he belongs to. Setting up further myspaces to add to the confusion and what with the good Dr. Who facing his old enemies again tonight on my great friend's television, (rubs hands) well the days are just packed ain't they. So what with all that, where do I get time to do justice to this?

But do it I will and it will no doubt be infested with Rattus Rattus and Sarcoptes Scabiei too.

Perhaps the blog pest control agency will need to be called? The very thought makes me itch like a bastard!

Until the next time - sometime perhaps Winter 2030 - enjoy yourselves and enjoy the box!


Thursday, March 29, 2007

South Park's Jones :-)

Welcome back to chriswasanon!

Firstly this blog would like to commemorate the passing of Gidget from the Indie and Internet community. The Indie 103.1 community was devastated recently by the appalling news that Gidget gos to hell had died. Gidget was according to Jack over at the shack the most prolific of the posters on the board with some 5,000 posts. She will be very sadly missed. You can read all about it at Jack's shack. Jack's appeared to mysteriously vanish off the Internet, that is until Mr. Rotter revealed to us that there is a new url for the place. The link on this page has been therefore updated. Yay!

As ever due to the industry of industriousness, the transcriber of transcripturessness, there is lots to see, on the Jonesy Alternative. Thoughts and wisdom and collected outpourings of Steve Jones? That famous ye olde show Jonesy's Jukebox on Indie 103.1 FM? We've got the goods!

- There is blogamp to hear the stuff again!
- There is - well you can read can't you?
- There are plenty of pictures too.
Speaking of pictures...

I want to direct your attention to Stuart Warwick. Stuart is a cartoonist with some excellent - amongst other things - Strummer, Rotten and Mr. Jones caricatures. He has set up a new blog. One of these caricatures graced Mr. Jones' myspace profile pics page. Do you remember? I do. Stu made himself known to us here by leaving a comment. He is now working on a comic (under wraps ) featuring Mr. Jones. I have seen scanned proofs of this work and it is excellent!

My advice to you is to have a read here and then.....

get on over there. --------> http://stuspunkpics.blogspot.com/

Until next time...


More About Deer 3-28-07

Steve: You know I have deer. Did I tell you this? I have deer on a constant basis in my back yard, just hanging out by the pool. Just grooming, having a slash, just picking the gnats off ‘em and just hanging out. And then having a little munch on the ivy. But that must mean that I have good vibes, cos they pick up. I literally stand there staring at them through the window cos they can’t see me from the reflection. I’m like, so close to ‘em and their ears, constantly moving to pick up sound. Like, they’re just constantly like turning around you know. I thought I had sensitive ears. Maybe mine move. I haven’t really looked, when I’m listening for things. Maybe they move. But deer’s ears…oh deer. Your ears, they just don’t stop moving. I love deers, though. I don’t understand why people want to shoot them. Think it’s some big challenge, killing a deer from like, 500 yards. Why don’t you go and do it to a tiger, or something? And then when you miss, he comes running after you and it’s a fair fight. But helpless deers, I don’t get it. And it’s so “macho”, its such a “macho” thing, too. Pussies.

Oh deer, what can the matter be
Oh deer what can the matter be
Oh deer what can the matter be

You can hang out in my pad
You can pick the gnats off your back
You can have a slash and destroy my grass
With your piss stains

I love you, deerie
You look so sweet Bambi
Hanging out by the pool area
With the rest of your family

I think there are at least four of you
Two of you are bigger than the rest of ya
That means you must be the children
Because you don’t have any horns

Is it dry up there in the mountains
Is that why you come down to (the)
domestic world at Steve’s gaff
I hope you enjoy the ivy

It’s better in your stomachs
Than for me to look at
Because it looks so very pretty
So pretty so pretty poison ivy

Oh deer, what can the matter be
Oh deer what can the matter be
Oh deer oh deer oh oh deer.

Steve: I’m gonna play a bit of…a mixture of stuff today. I brought a lot of glam, a lot of…I haven’t played glam in a long time but I’m gonna start off with a bit of ol’ Mika. I know…I’m Mika mad but I think he’s a talented little bloke and he has a good fashion sense, too. Even though he doesn’t like football.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

I Miss Mr. Shovel...

...he hasn't been on The Box for many a day...

The Sword Of Bryan Ferry 3/23/07

Steve: I, me, Man Who Can, has the new Bryan Ferry album in his hand. “Dylanesque”, it’s called. It’s Bryan Ferry doing all Dylan songs: “Just Like Tom Thumb’s Blues”, “Simple Twist Of Fate”, “Make You Feel My Love”, “The Times They Are A-Changin’”, “All I Really Want To Do”, “Knocking On Heaven’s Door”, “Positively Fourth Street”, “If Not For You”, “Baby Let Me Follow You Down”, “Gates Of Eden” and “All Along The Watchtower”. On Virgin Records and tapes.

I love Bryan Ferry. I’m sorry, I have a weakness for his Prince Charles look. (begins to strum his guitar delicately) He reminds me of a royalty man. Please knight me, Bryan. Put your sword above me, your broadsword. Caress my head with it…(sings)

Bryan, Bryan lay your sword upon my head
Oh Bryan ferry across the Mersey oh
Bryan, you are like a lion
You’re the main man who put the music
in Roxy Music

You big monkey, big monkey
Life of Bryan
You remind me of Prince Charles
With a plum in your throat
And the rights to the songs
that you wrote
on all your solo records

You are the man who can
You’re alongside
Oh Bryan when you gonna come
on ze Box to visit the other Man Who Can

Oh Bryan, Bryan
I love ya

From Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Steve: I’ve got breaking news…breaking news. Very important, did you hear? Oh, Jesus. You didn’t hear? Oh, my God.
I’m in Tom’s Top 8!

Chuck: I knew that.

Steve: You knew that?

Chuck: Yeah.

Steve: How’d you know that?

Chuck: I heard about it, so I went and checked it out.

Steve: Who told ya?

Chuck: Somebody mentioned it on a blog somewhere.

Steve: Oh…(sings)

I’m in Tom’s Top 8

Yes I’m in Colonel Tom’s Top 8
You know how hard it is to be
in Tom’s Top 8

I didn’t even have to take my trousers down

to end up in Tommy’s World
and I didn’t have big onions
with a website oh no

Tom, Tommy Boy oh Tommy Boy
How long will I be there Tom
Up with the best of them
Please don’t take me out of the 8
I will have to go to rehab for it

Tom you’re the One
You’re the Number One of the friends
You’re everybody’s friend
Oh Tommy Boy
Oh Tommy Boy
Oh, oh Tommy Boy
Leave it straight in your Top 8

Friday, March 23, 2007

If I Managed England

Steve: I could manage England…easy. I could manage Chelsea, too, actually. You just stand there, wave your arms about. What’s so difficult about that?


I could manage England football team
Yes I could and I would if I only had an opportunity
I would manage England football team oh yeah

Mclaren, he’s two-bob he ain’t got a clue
You’d be better off with Malcolm Mclaren
Better than the Mclaren that is there right now
He ain’t worth it.

I wouldn’t only manage I’d probably get in there myself
Put my boots on and have a laugh
I, if I managed England football club
I’d make sure that I would take
all the corners and penalties and free kicks
Yes I would if I managed England football club

I would design a new kit it would be legit
and it would fit Double X
Double XL and we would excel
to a higher level on the pitch
with eleven players and a free reserve
and it would be fun and we could go and get some
crumpet after the game

Oh, I can’t wait to manage England football club
It would be all right
Yes I would do a very good job
Better than the rest
I wouldn’t be scared to make some rash decisions
I wouldn’t give a toss I would kiss some ass
To the old fellas up in the Chairmans of the Boards
The CEOs, the money men
The Sponsorship and all that
You know what I’m talking about
If I managed England I’d have a laugh up in the bath
With all the players in the showers
and having a look, who has the biggest knob
In the England squad it would be such fun
to have a look at their willies
World Cup Willies you know what I’m talking ‘bout

If I managed England...

Friday, March 16, 2007

MySpace founder Tom Anderson at a SXSW conference on March 15, he chose Steve to be his interviewer.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

There is a video on Myspace that features Steve in 1995 playing guitar for Iggy Pop as he performs, "Raw Power" and "I Wanna Be Your Dog". I don't know if it can be embedded anywhere besides myspace so try clicking --> here <--to have a look...

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Colin H. Christ - February 28 2007

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031. It is two minutes after twelve bells on a very chilly Wednesday morn. I woke up this morning about 8:30, I went outside just to get a feel of the temperature and it was cold, it was cold. I even wore a sheepskin coat here this morning, that’s how cold I was. Very strange. I guess not…it’s February, innit? It should be cold, what am I talking about? (laughs) But clear, cold but clear. I actually don’t mind it, to be honest with you because you know we’ve got a hot summer coming. It’s going to be, my prediction – a scorcher. Could be wrong, got a funny feeling, though. The climate is changing…

Mr. Shovel: It’s pretty safe territory, to say it’s going to be hot this summer.

Steve: (U.S. accent) And we ain’t gonna get any rain this summer, I predict that.

Mr. Shovel: Hot and dry.

Steve: Hot and dry and sticky. No rain, I predict. No snow, as well this summer. (back to normal) What’s this thing about James Cameron? Have you read this thing about he thinks he’s found the bones of…

Mr. Shovel: The tombs.

Steve: Tombs?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah.

Steve: Of Jesus?

Mr. Shovel: And his family.

Steve: Is that possible? Anything’s possible…

Mr. Shovel: Sure.

Steve: I hope he has cos it would throw all them Bible Belters completely into a tailspin if he’s found Jesus’ remains.

Mr. Shovel: I think we’re going to find James Cameron’s remains probably…

Steve: Probably, yeah. Do you think the coffin…is it in a coffin or tomb?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, it’s like a stone coffin.

Steve: Are they saying he wasn’t pinned up on a cross then, or that comes with the cross, in the tomb?

Mr. Shovel: They’re not saying that. They’re just saying that he perhaps was married and had a kid.

Steve: Well, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Mr. Shovel: All the names match the names…

Steve: Oh, so supposedly, as it goes in the biblical Bible or whatever it is, that he was a single bloke and never had it off with anyone?

Mr. Shovel: Right.

Steve: Hmm. So he’s kind of like me. Kind of just…a loner.

Mr. Shovel: Except he never did.

Steve: I’m…saying he didn’t have a relationship.

Mr. Shovel: Maybe if he had lived longer and gained a bunch of weight (laughing) he might have had the same problem but I think it was a choice on his part.

Steve: We don’t know how, he could have been…they didn’t have hamburgers back then. They didn’t have In-N-Out.

Mr. Shovel: Lotta fish.

Steve: Yeah. Lot of seas parting, lot of fish flapping about. Lot of wine that turned from water into the wine.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. And you never know what’s going to happen after that.

Steve: Well, that wine keeps your weight down, it’s a fact. Look at the French.

Mr. Shovel: It’s good for your heart.

Steve: Look at the French, they’re not fat. And look at us lot. Humongous.

Mr. Shovel: They don’t have a lot of fast food joints over there.

Steve: Yeah. So, he drunk a lot of wine, that’s why he wasn’t fat, Jesus. Was that his real name or was that his stage name, “Jesus”?

Mr. Shovel: I think he probably just picked that one up along the way. It was probably something like Fred.

Steve: His name was Colin Smith, probably.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, boring.

Steve: That doesn’t sound right. “If I’m going to be one of these blokes who’s going to be a legend written about in Bibles, I’ve got to come up with a better name. Let me think. Incubus? No, that’s not good. Um, Caligulilus? No, that’s not right…

Mr. Shovel: Already taken.

Steve: “Jesus…hang on…Jesus…Jesus Christ. That sounds good. Let’s run with that one for a little while and see if it sticks.”

Mr. Shovel: It was brilliant to name himself after an exasperated swear word.

Steve: Yeah. He knew that people were going to say, “Jesus Christ!” He wasn’t stupid, was he?

Mr. Shovel: Uh uh.

Steve: He knew how to work the publicity machine.

Mr. Shovel: Well, we had like, Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious, Rat Scabies.

Steve: Yeah.

Mr. Shovel: You know, you’ve got to go with an image.

Steve: All the good ones. Englebert Humperdink.

Mr. Shovel: Incubus Succubus.

Steve: Sting. Elvis Costello.

Both: Jesus.

Mr. Shovel: He was one of the first one-name artists.

Steve: He was the first. Madonna, Sting, Jesus. Quinn Martin in there somewhere. So what’s going to happen to determine if he was ol’ Mr. Christ?

Mr. Shovel: I don’t think they’re gonna definitively be able to determine that.

Steve: Not with DNA?

Mr. Shovel: I don’t think they have a DNA sample to compare it to.

Steve: Is Jesus in “The Last Supper” picture?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, he’s right there in the middle. Dishing it up.

Steve: Oh. See, he’s eating again. It’s the last one, though. That’s why he didn’t get fat cos it was his last supper. Got it. So he was a virgin?

Mr. Shovel: Well, according to his publicists.

Steve: Maybe they could have sent ol’ Babydol round there to have a word with him, persuade him. He could have been in the black book.

Mr. Shovel: Well, he is. Different one.

Steve: Is he under “Jesus Christ” or he’s got a fake name? Colin Smith?

Mr. Shovel: His code name was “Tommy Lasorda”

Steve: (belch) Pardon. Tommy Sortof. I think we need to get her on The Box, mate. We need to get Babydol Gibson on The Box.

Mr. Shovel: And we should bring her on the show, too.

Steve: Yeah. If anyone’s out there who’s got a contact with her, I’d like to get her on Friday to find out what it’s all about.

Mr. Shovel: You know what’s funny is, once you just admitted to it and said, “Who cares?” all the TV cameras went away.

Steve: I know, I’m insulted.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

(later in the show)

Steve: Friday, we have a guest coming on. Do you want to know who that guest is, Mr. Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, I do.

Steve: It is the world famous Babydol Gibson.

Mr. Shovel: I just want to say I don’t know how my name got in that book, I have never met her.

Steve: She’s coming on The Box, twelve bells, Friday. Got to put the word out, the word came back. It’s definitely booked for..Friday...twelve bells, Babydol Gibson. It’s all in the book. I hope she brings me a book and signs it.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Ronen just alerted us to this li'l gem, "Freedom Fighter" from "Fire And Gasoline":

Friday, February 23, 2007

from 2/19/07

Steve: I’ve got to say, I am enjoying the rain. We haven’t had rain, much rain this year and to have a bit of rain is actually refreshing. I’m kind of enjoying it…hopefully it will keep the summer down a little bit and there won’t be all these fires and I still got a feeling it’s going to be a hot summer.

Mr. Shovel: That’s a new look at the world for you, Steve. Normally you don’t like the rain.

Steve: Well another reason why I don’t mind the rain is cos I’ve got this neighbor behind me and she has a big house and it kind of faces my house, where she entertains, so whenever she has any kind of party or she’s just hanging out...she’s an older lady...she could be a bit Mutt and Jeff-deaf, so I’ve just got a feeling that she has her music a lot louder than anyone normal, with a subwoofer that just

drives me up the wall. And it puts me in a funk. Puts me in a complete funk…it put me in a funk where I called up a real estate (agent) this morning and said, “Do you got anything out there?”

It just bums me out when people make a lot of noise for six or seven hours and you can’t get away from it other than go out, which I didn’t want to do. I was in the Sex Pistols - I can’t even stand listening to music that loud, you know what I mean - in me own house. But my point is, when it rained, for some reason it deadened the noise a little bit so maybe I’ll just create a rainforest outside the back yard so it’s just raining all the time. I was going to build a wall but I don’t think…someone told me that might not necessarily make any difference. I don’t know. I just want to be left alone. That’s all. I just want to be in a house where there’s no noise and that’s all I want. It’s not like I’m asking for a lot.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I have a neighbor who drives me up the wall
She’s got a big subfoofer oh yeah
I think she’s mutt and deaf
And can’t hear as well as I
My sensitive kingly ears

What am I gonna do with this
Mutt and Jeff neighbor
Who seems to get a thrill out of
Having her subwoofer way too loud
So loud I can’t even think in my own house oh no

What shall I do
Fire stinkbombs over
Near her Jacuzzi
Near her bedroom
Stinky stinkbombs oh yeah

Steve: Maybe I can get it out if I sing about it. Maybe it’s a sign. See, a yoga person, a tree hugger, would look at the positive in someone when they’re making a noise. “Oh, that’s God telling you to go out for a walk, do something productive” or “practice patience” or something in that nature.

Mr. Shovel: Why don’t you just bust out the Marshall stack?

Steve: Well, I could do that, but then probably all the other neighbors would call the cops on me for making a noise. I wonder if she gets complaints from any other neighbors? I’m the only one she’s really facing, that is the drag and it seems like wherever I move to, all the houses I’ve been in, there is someone who does something that’s just retarded.

Mr. Shovel: You could point one of those secret lasers that make her burn up at her.

Steve: Yeah. We’ll get one of them at the spy shop. Maybe that’s an alternative. Let’s play on this President’s Day…what is the date today? Is it the…

Mr. Shovel: Nineteeth of February.

Steve: …nineteenth of February, rolling right along here. Before you know it, it’s going to be summer and she’s going to be out in the back yard with her subwoofers REALLY loud then…
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
(art by Banksy)

Monday, February 19, 2007

J3 - Jonesy's Jukebox Jury from 2-19-07

Due to technical difficulties beyond our control, there are no songs involving alpakas or kangaroos today.

This week's Jonesy's Jukebox Jury panel:

John Taylor (Duran Duran)
Shepard Fairey (Obey Giant)
Kate Sullivan (LA Weekly)
Bob Lefsetz (The Lefsetz Letter)

(A song has just finished playing and it's time to critique it)

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox Jury. Kate Sullivan, Bob Lefsetz, John Taylor, Shepard Fairey. Kate Sullivan, what did you think of that song?

Kate: Oh, I have to go first again, okay. Um…sorry, not “my thing” again. When it was like, really, really lyrically oriented but without a lot going on melodically and no hooks -- for me, you know, for my…

Steve: No femininity for you? (general laughter)

Kate: They were not hitting my hooky sweet-spot there. But I think I’ve seen this band…

Steve: Oh, rully?

Kate: I think I saw this band on Letterman and they’re so, so aggressively nerdy that I kind of had to end up liking them somehow because the lead guy is so unlikely as a lead guy in a band. You can tell he’s smart and it’s just, it’s just not for me. It’s not rock. It’s not rockin’, you know what I mean?

Steve: I know what you mean.

Kate: All right.

Steve: It’s not up your strasse.

Kate: It’s very cerebral.

Steve: Yeah. Shepard Fairey.

Shepard: Um, it had elements of rock, um…but it wasn’t rocking. Or “rockin”. (Kate laughs). That’s the hipster: “rockin”. I felt like it just wasn’t that compelling in general. It was okay. It wasn’t offensive, but it wasn’t compelling, either.

Steve: Mmmm. So, pantaloonies, I would imagine?

Shepard: Yes. Pants on that one.

Steve: And definitely from Kate, pantaloonies?

Kate: Yes.

Steve: Bob Lefsetz.

Bob: You know, this is very problematic. The first thing I’d say about this record is:

Who. Cares.

Okay, we have gone on, we played eight records so far. Not one of them has been any good. So let’s go to the viewpoint of the listener. They’re listening to the station. We’re doing good entertainment about how bad the records are. But you tune into a station and record after record after record doesn’t hit you, it’s the opposite of the Sixties and Top 40 radio where every record was a killer. Yet we have the people who foist these records upon the public saying, “Oh, it’s great! You’re just an old fart. You just don’t get it”. I mean, I didn’t mind the guitars, but…meaningless and irrelevant.

Kate: Right.

John: He’s not a people pleaser is he?

Steve: He’s not. (general laughter) He is not a people pleaser, Bob.

Bob: That’s not a good way to the (pap?). It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.

Steve: But we’re just, I mean, you know, Jonesy’s Jukebox and Indie, we’re just reviewing songs that come to the station for airplay.

Bob: But I think it proves the point, because all day long people email me tracks. They always want to send you the cd’s, as if I can’t listen online on MySpace or something and they really believe this stuff is good. It goes from everyone at the labels to the promotion men to the independent people. There’s no arbiter of reality. We need you, Jonesy, to be sitting on the top of the music scene and separating the wheat from the chaff. There is good stuff out there. There’s 60,000 albums a year BUT, someone’s got to take 59,500 and push ‘em aside so we’re not inundated with all the crap because otherwise we’d say, “Man, I’d rather watch CSI, I’d rather play the video game, I’d rather skateboard” because it’s too dense. It’s too overwhelming. It’s too crappy.

Steve: Well, that’s a good point and that’s partly what we’re trying to do here. You know what I mean?

Bob: Great.

Shepard: I like to be optimistic about new music but you know, when it’s not great, it’s not great.

Steve: Exactly. I would love to love every song that come at me. But unfortunately that’s an impossibility, especially in this day and age.

Bob: But don’t they tell you when you’re on this station, when you don’t like it, there’s something wrong with you?

Steve: No.

Bob: I hear that all the time. “If you don’t like it, you just don’t get it, you’re too old…” You’re this, you’re that, whatever.

Steve: No, not with me. I just play what I want.

Bob: They’re afraid of you.

Kate: You’re not too old, their music just sucks.

Bob: Okay, I’m going to send the email to you and you (?) to them from now on.

Steve: I know what you’re saying though, Bob. I know exactly what you’re saying. That is definitely…

John: But you know, the Sixties, was entirely different. I mean, Led Zeppelin hadn’t happened yet.

Bob: Led Zeppelin’s first record came out in 1969.

John: Yeah, but you know what I mean…electric guitars and drum kits and its, you know, a lot’s been done and it’s very hard to, I mean, for me, the records that have come out that have really grabbed me have not really had guitars and drums and I’m a guitar player. I do it for a living but I feel I’m some kind of, I’m holding onto something that is fading.

Bob: I don’t want to be too stylized here, but the point is, Clive Davis – and I hate the records he makes – he says, “They have to have a verse, a chorus, a hook, a melody” and these are basics. A bridge. If you listen to some of those great Beatles albums the songs have bridges. You can play in any style of music and still have a bridge. You can have some of the building blocks that make the songs palatable.

John: But it wasn’t self-conscious when the Beatles did it. It was just coming out of them and it was instinct. It’s not like people sitting around like, teams of guys that are sitting in studios, as we speak, thinking, “When’s the hook? When’s the hook coming? It’s got to come to the hook. How long is the hook?”

Steve: But does that happen anymore though? A bunch of guys in big record labels, sitting around, as far as on an indie level?

John: I think so…

Steve: Or do they just let these bands get on with it, cos it sounds like they’re just letting them get on with it.

Bob: If you’re on a major label, unlike in the Seventies when the artists took all the rights back, they have a clause in the contract where there’s no guarantee to put the record out, with almost every record. So if they don’t believe they can market the record, which, on the worst record it’s gonna cost them a minimum of $100,000, more like $250,000-$500,000. They will work, they will put you together with Diane Warren, Max Martin co-writing, whatever and they will rape all the soul from your record.

Steve: Right.

Bob: Okay, but I agree with John’s point: the Sixties and Seventies were like the Renaissance. There was only one Renaissance. But Picasso came hundreds of years after the Renaissance and he did new things. Maybe you can’t innovate quite to the degree…you don’t have the Golden Age and I believe there are certain building blocks of music that we have gotten too far away from. And I don’t care how the guitars sound, whatever. But it’s become about the image and the style. You said, these guys went on Letterman and they had a nerdy look, whatever. It’s like, when you try out for a symphony orchestra what they do is, they do blind auditions. You play behind a curtain. (its about) How good you are. That’s what we should do with these bands. Then people could say, “Well, okay. It’s not about the image and how many friends on MySpace”. It’s like, “Are you any good?”

Kate: Well, I’m curious about you guys. Like, when you were first starting with Duran Duran, was there a lot of label oversight for your songwriting or…

John: No. There was no label oversight. They put us with a producer that they felt could guide us and could help us make a better record than what we would have been capable of, left to our own devices. But nobody ever got in our faces about what our songs should sound like until things started going south. You know and then everybody had an idea and that’s the worst thing. Once you let in one person’s opinion, then you let in everybody’s opinion.

Bob: But the fascinating thing with Duran Duran is, you had your heyday, starting with “Girls On Film” and “Rio”, etc. And then the band splintered into varying things and you reunited and the sneak preview was…you did about 45 minutes at “Acoustic Christmas” in 1991 and you put out a new record and you hit again. You had two great tracks. So after all that time, it’s not like when your starting and you’re trying to get out of the hole, trying to get out of art school, whatever. What was the process…could you throw off all the history? How did you end up with two great songs?

John: Well I think that’s part of - that’s the problem with anybody that’s been around for awhile. It’s like you want to hold onto the core of what you are, whatever that is, assuming you know what that is. But then...you want to make something that plays in the marketplace, right? That’s sort of like, that speaks to…whatever it is that’s out there and I think that’s the line that you have to walk.

Steve: But didn’t you do that process the second time around? “Oh, we need a single. Oh, we need this, oh, we need that…”?

John: Well very much so. I mean, we hadn’t played together for ten, twelve years. I mean, I learned how to play bass with that drummer you know, and I felt that, and everybody needed to play the way that they used to play for each of us to play the way we played, if you know what I mean. It’s like, if the drummer comes back and says, “No, I’m not that drummer anymore, I’ve been listening to Chad from the Chili Peppers…”

(whatever he was saying had to be dumped from the live broadcast by Mr. Shovel)

Steve: You would have to swear wouldn’t you, John. You would have to swear.

John: (Continues, unfazed) It’s tricky. I mean, the smartest bands like U2 have very clever people around them saying, “Why don’t you try working with this guy” and “Why don’t you try working with that guy?”

Bob: I’m actually down on U2. I loved “Achtung Baby” which was completely different from anything that they’d done previously and I believe they’ve been playing it safe…thereafter. But if I go to your record that came out in ’92 I believe it was, you had that song, “Ordinary World” which was (a) phenomenal record. Didn’t sound like anything you’d done before. How did you come up with that record?

John: Just…throwing stuff up against the wall, you know. You just show up and you write and you write and you write and you try to write a song every day and then hopefully one of those songs, people go, “Oh, I like that one”. In fact, that was the first record we made where…we had to go to the record label every week and play them what we’d done and if they liked it, they’d write a check for another week’s studio time (all react with laughs) because we’d just blown so much money. I mean, we made a lot of money the first three albums and then we completely lost our way and we spent sooo much money making really crap records. So they said, “Okay well, this time we’re going to keep you on a tight leash” and...when we wrote that one they said, “Okay, here’s the check for the rest of the album.”

Bob: I have this radio show and we had this guy John Boylan who produced the Boston records…

Steve: Just before we go too far off track, are we giving it a pants or mustard? The band was called The Hold Steady.

Bob: That’s a very hip band. People have really good things to say about them, but not me.

Kate: Pants. Pants.

Steve: Was that the band you thought it was (indecipherable, Kate speaks over him)…

Kate: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now I regret talking about their look because I hate bands that look like nerds. I like bands that look like Duran Duran that look super cool.

John: Is there an actor in that band?

Steve: An actor? I don’t know.

Shepard: No, that band used to be Lifter Puller. They’re from Minneapolis and they were more of a punk band and now they’ve kind of gone in this kind of more classic rock direction that seems to be working really well for them but it hasn’t really resonated with me.

Steve: I just want to know one thing. All the bands we’ve been critiquing, lets just say Pearl Jam for instance, if Eddie Vedder was sitting in the corner would we all say the same things or would it be slightly more polite?

John: Oh, come on…

Bob: Absolutely. I would say the same thing. I’d love to get into it with Eddie Vedder.

Steve: So you’d be like, so you’d say exactly the same thing…

Bob: This guy is rich. He can get laid every night of the week even though he happens to be married and me, little unknown person in Santa Monica has to be worried about what Eddie Vedder has to say?

Steve: So you wouldn’t care if he was standing in the room, you’d say exactly the same thing.

Bob: No, because as I say, what you find with these people, they do one of a few things. Either they try to you know, intimidate you, or else they kind of laugh along. That’s what you have to do when you get…that’s what America…England really specializes. When you get to the top people try to tear you down and you have to have a sense of humor about yourself or you can’t make it and that’s what we hate about Eddie Vedder. He’s got no sense of humor on himself and even though he doesn’t have one, I’m gonna still try to make him have one.

Steve: Yeah…you’ve got to be light on yourself. You know what I mean? You’ve got to be able to take, making fun of yourself. That’s what I think, anyway. Good point.

Bob: But if Eddie Vedder were here, would you be honest?

Steve: I didn’t hate it, I didn’t hate the song. I’ve actually had him on the show and we did an acoustic song that was really good and his voice, I actually thought when we sung acoustic I thought his voice was very heartfelt and I don’t think it was phony. I really thought he had a good heartfelt voice so I’m not going to slag him off. I like him.

Bob: Isn’t he just Sting (but) twenty years younger?

Steve: Um, I don’t know. I don’t think so.

Bob: Don’t people hate Sting just as much as they hate Eddie Vedder?

Steve: I don’t think so, I don’t think so.

Shepard: I like The Police. The Police you know, within the punk paradigm were hated but I really liked them within the pop paradigm, even though I was more of a punk rocker. They were a pop band I loved. I think The Police are good songwriters.

Steve: He’s coming on The Jukebox Wednesday, Andy Summers.

Shepard: You know, one thing I have to say about all this, whether your critiquing or making…it’s easy to criticize. But to make art I think that whether it’s music or visual art you just have to trust your instincts and you have to feel, you have to feel good about what you’re doing and then you know, maybe the peanut gallery hates it but you really have to trust your own sense of whether you accomplished what you want and I think that when you feel good about it is the only time that it’s going to work for other people. When you second-guess yourself, you fail.

Bob: I totally agree with your concept but the first half of what you said, saying “it’s easy to criticize”. Most people are crap and you have to know inside whether you’re good or crap and if you’re good, if you’re in the league, a professional, follow your instincts, okay? But just because you made something…you know a four year-old makes something with all his power, doesn’t mean it’s good.

Steve: Do people not like you, Bob?

Bob: People love me. Love me. Because I’m speaking the truth. We live in a society where everybody’s kissing butt. You have a boss. Everybody’s got a boss, no one can speak the truth. That used to be the rock stars. They used to go around…now the rock stars are phony people. Even the hip hop guys. They make deal with corporations, they’re doing all these endorsements, you say, “I can’t believe in that guy, I’m struggling in my real life”. So I’m saying what people think. Maybe they only say it in bed to their wives or girlfriends but this is what people think.

Steve: Who did you look up to?

Bob: You have to look up to Bob Dylan because of the lyrics in some of those songs. I do not like the new music, I don’t want to go see him again because he changes his stuff but he’s great. I think, if we’re talking about people…Sting’s a phenomenal song writer, I don’t want to hear him going on about having tantric sex for seven hours.

Steve: I don’t either. I just want ten minutes, I’m done. Kate, what do you think? Last couple of words.

Kate: I pretty much agree with everything that Bob said but I think you can be outrageous and honest and still be stylish. And kind. And that’s what I wanna be someday.

Steve: Right. Well, I want to thank you lot all for coming by. That was really good and uplifting, exciting. Hopefully next time we can have some more famous music (that) we can critique. I mean, a lot of them was like, unknown bands. I think there was only two on here that anyone knew, maybe. Goldfrapp and Pearl Jam. But nevertheless, that was the second Jonesy’s Jukebox Jury and I appreciate you guys coming on a holiday, President’s Day, when you could be doing better things but it’s good. So we are gonna sign off now and start Jonesy’s Jukebox mometarily. Thanks for listening.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

One more time!

Welcome back to chriswasanon! Best viewed on a Firefox browser probably or Linux or anything but Internut exploder 6 where it looks like cac quite frankly my dear. On my brother's XP machine it certainly does look bizarre.

This post is about anniversaries. In it I will attempt to show through subjugating this, coming to terms with that and underlining the other the following factoids.

Anniversaries are such boring things aren't they? After all, last year we had the 30 years retrospect of the tea time Sex Pistols Grundy swearathon shocka. Now this year it will be 30 years since GSTQ caused such a furore amongst the staid boring old status quo in Britain. It's a funny old world where a man can sing, "No future" and 30 years later..is this what we imagined?
Bloody computers! I don't see Electric cars in the sky and the Internal combustion engine if it stays in polluting pole position will in a matter of only 10,000 years be more successful than the horse, probably...at least you could grow tomatoes with their shit! However it did take you 42 hours to get from London to Edinburgh by stage coach in the 1820's. Off topic Off topic!!! :-(

Once upon a time there is a radio station called Indie 103.1 fm beaming out of LA area a show called "Jonesy's Jukebox." It is hosted by Sex Pistols guitarist Steve Jones. He plays what he likes in a loose guest/cd format. Now, not only can you get this show in your kitchen or home in the LA area but it also (Bonus!!!) is streamed over the Internet. Which means that oiks like me in Schottland can listen too.

The Internet is communication. Web logs or blogs yeah?

"Today I got up and looked out of the window and then had a shower..."

That's pretty boring isn't it? Blogs! With something completely different in mind, this JJ. show rather uniquely on the Indie 103.1 fm website took the decision to have a huge message board blog where it's host Steve Jones Los Sex Pistolero el Hombre! could post a thematic starter comment or observation which ALL and sundry were invited to respond to by having access open to all.

Each of these threads spawned replies. They began quickly to snowball. From 37 comments to something like 3000+ comments over the short period of Bambi's life. When did it start Flo? Insert answer -----> here: September 15, 2006.

Private conversations sprung up between posters. Myspace urls were exchanged, friendships forged with yet more chatter and so on and so on. Underpinning that confluence of online music fan humanity there was a stream of consciousness snapshot of the show, consisting of comments on the music, the host, the guests, the adverts, the Shovel - the transcriptions requested, everything.

What happened?

The radio station remains, and like for sure, the show is still Steve Jones' Jukebox but that thing called the Steve Jones Blog which this blog owes it's very life to...is dead.

Cast your minds backwards to 16 Feb 2006. The new blog - "How dare you defy?" had just been created. As a question "how dare you defy?" was probably a tad more challenging than "etc." eg. which had been another topic that Steve set. Or "Carry on." Looking back in the archives of this blog (chriswasanon) it was a matter of 2 days later that the Steve Jones Blog on Indie 103.1 died a permanent death. Killed by person or persons unknown. Here's what it looked like back in the day preceding lock-out and mass extinction and before it went offline temporarily.

Ahhhhhh - bless it!

The image is very likely the copyright of Indie 103.1 FM. But I thought you'd like a look back.

You clicked on the red text. In you went to interact with such a bunch of souls blogging the show as it was being broadcast and after. These people I called the Blogstars. Though Steve as Flora said here somewhere was, "the real star. " Some of them posters names have vanished into the ether, ne'er to be seen again. Some of them may have been"sock puppets," people do like having conversations with themselves. No they don't! Yes they do! Some of which were probably famous peoples...probably. Some of which were Me and You, who knows? One more time? Positively the last time!

Rotter was there, Floratina was there, Pie was there, Stuart was there, JR. was there, IrishScots was there, Alison was there, Jewell was there, Jade was there, Scottish Toodler was there, Ramona was there, Shloemoe was there, Minx was there, AC. was there, Chispa was there, Tricky was there, NYC Gail was there, Gidget too. Nevah. This is that hall of fame. Many many more regulars and once onlys much too numerous to mention. If I missed you etc.

No INVITATION required.

So what? Sometimes the chat got a bit rude and perhaps it descended into typed Anarchy and could get quite messy at times but there was and has never been anything since like it. Our chatbox is a mere mimic of it and you are most welcome and I don't care who you are - to leave a comment.

With the myspace group there seemed little point in CWA blog carrying on. This blog grew to exist merely to comment on the Jones bloggers. When you take the online party away, what's left? The transcriptions! So Lo Floratina joined me here to post the terrific transcripts that this little corner of the Interweb has become World Famous for... probably. Here they all are, all the guests from nearly a year with positively the very best bits of Jonesy's jukebox transcribed.

On that matter anyone who tells you or believes that transcriptions were a major problem on the Jonesy's Jukebox blog is speaking out of their tin-foil hat.

So on the vague idea of some kind of a boring anniversary happening, CwA would like you to remember the way we were and where we are now.

Cos CwA blog stayed open!

Speaking of anniversaries, that are not boring, Jonesy's Jukebox has now been on the air for three years, it passed it's third birthday on Feb 10th. 2007. Stuart commemorated things over at his bit with his 3rd birthday party cake and controversial ex Steve Jones blog regular Miche and Indie junkie has posted her view of things here . Newbies only.

Maybe things really aren't so very boring after all...

RIP. Steve Jones Indie 103.1 Blog.

Happy birthday Jonesy's Jukebox!!!

Lively up yourself!

Chris was Anon.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

From 2/6/06 Enjoyment All Over

Steve: I did tell you that the clocks are going forward earlier this month…didn’t I, Mr. Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: No…

Steve: Yes.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, you did.

Steve: Starting in March, as opposed to the month after March. What’s the month after March?

Mr. Shovel: April.

Steve: That’s when it normally goes (?). It’s going (?) in March.

Mr. Shovel: Why do you suppose that is, Steve.

Steve: I’ve no idea. Maybe cos of global warming, we’re all going to die in a couple of years, trying to get more hours sunlight in? I dunno. Maybe the farmers are unhappy because they’re not making enough stuff, because of global warming? It’s funny that they are moving it forward, innit? It’s never been done before, has it? Have you ever noticed that? It’s got to be something like that. I think, slowly, people in (the) mainstream are slowly acknowledging the fact that there might be a problem with the weather, cos there’s a lot of drastic stuff that’s going on. It’s not just storms and heatwaves, it’s like drastic. You know what I mean? What’s that big one they just had, where was it? Didn’t some big thing happen down South?

Mr. Shovel: Florida.

Steve: Florida.

Mr. Shovel: Tornadoes. Not tornado season.

Steve: Yeah…I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be roasting in L.A. this summer. Just a hunch. And everyone’s going to have their air conditioner on…and the power’s going to go out and everyone’s going to be miserable. But will we do anything about it? No, because we like our modern conveniences. It has to be a governmental procedure. Things have to be mandatory. Chinese are going to be the ones though. They’re really going to make that hole bigger…cos they want to be like us, (like) the U.S. has been in the last fifty years. The Chinese want to have appliances, all the good things that we’ve had. And there’s a lot of them. And they’ve got a lot of money now. (sings)

Oh, I really enjoy
My new way of livin’
Yes I really enjoy
the Chinese new way of livin’
and the joke is on me…

(channeling Jerry Lewis)
oh, I really enjoy myself laydeee
I enjoy oh yes I enjoy, joy joy to the world
Enjoyment all over the world…!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Punk Pathetique

Current mood: a damned eclectic blog

I'm hoping to see a pic or two of Rotter performing his "Stage of rage," at some point. Meantime to get us in the mood for such, here's a pic of me with my tattoed and inked good friend Lefty Maximus Decimus Meridius. I'm fronting Splodgenessabounds for one night only at the Cas Rock in Edinburgh. Lefty says that it his one of his favourite pics and mebbe you agree. It was an extraordinary gig. Max Splodge lost his voice completely. The audience took an instant dislike to us apart from a couple of blokes. Also attending were Robbie Rushton from the Crybabies on Drums, and Honest John Plain from the Boys on Guitar. The chap wearing the Holiday in Mongolia T-shirt is Steve from the Exploited on back up vocals After the gig we all went back to my bit and Max took his clothes off and borrowed a kilt. We are either performing "two pints of lager and a packet of crisps "or "two little boys," in this pic. I can't remember. Lefty as you can see is giving it laldy and so am I, or some welly at any rate.

No further news on these Sex Pistols gigs this year yet.

Sad to say that the "Killer rocks on," is no longer making Seditionaries and assorted other punk tees. So that's a dead link :-( ------------>

Tina will be back soon but until then there's always "Jonesy's, Jonesy's Jukebox." so..."Don't be a mug!"

Chris was a Splodger.

Friday, January 26, 2007

from 1/24/07 - Dodgy Lodging

In this episode Steve tells us about his trip home from Sundance.

Steve: We left after the show (the live remote Indie broadcast), me and Dougie. We drove, got out of there. Stopped for something to eat and then just drove and drove…and then there’s that time change when you leave…at one point there’s there like four states all close to each other and there’s that hour time difference going back and forth, I don’t know how that works.

But anyway we was coming down into Vegas, it’s the most beautiful, if you come that way ‘round at night, coming into Vegas, it’s amazing. It’s so beautiful. It’s different than coming the other way from L.A. to Vegas. My gut feeling was to just keep going, driving cos I was up for doing it and Dougie’s like, “No, no…let’s stay in Vegas you need to rest. There’s no rush to get back, you got tomorrow off.”

And so we tossed a coin. Heads, we stay in Vegas. Tails, we keep going. Now, what he told me this morning, he lied, it was tails. That meant we should have kept going and because we didn’t get going, we stopped at the Hard Rock. It was full-up. I went to the counter. This is like, twelve at night. Went to the counter - it was full-up, it was crowded. When we parked in the parking lot, all the lights were on in the rooms. But I could have probably got a room, seeing that they have all Sex Pistols on the blackjack tables and Sid Vicious one-armed bandits and whatnot.

I walked up to the woman, the woman says to me, “Yes?” I said, “Is there, do you have any rooms?” She goes, “Not in the front, only suites”. I said, “How much is the suites?” She goes, “Hold on a second…” she’s typing away. She goes, “Oh, I’m sorry sir, we have nothing.” You know, I forget what I’m looking like. I just drove for like eight hours, I look like the Unabomber and so I think she’s panicking and didn’t want me to stay there. Now I could have made a fuss and said, “Don’t you know who I am, young lady?”

Mr. Shovel: Your quote’s up on their…your misquote

Steve: “The only notes that count are the ones that come in wads”. That’s me, lady.

Mr. Shovel: That’s up over the door.

Steve: Yeah, I couldn’t be bothered, though. I probably looked scary cos I had me hat on and…I had the Unabomber look going, the beard thing. She said, “I would suggest you go across the street.” So we went across the street to some dump. Dougie wanted us to stay in there. He got the room. We drove…one of them big complex places, you know? Like a mile. You go around the back and it’s all dodgy. I didn’t want to leave any of the stuff in the car.

Mr. Shovel: This was a Monday night.

Steve: Monday night. This place is dead, mind you. But it’s…you go into the room and it’s…you think like, you know, Ike Turner’s gonna come out of the closet with a crack pipe, it’s one of them kind of places. And the sheets were like just, oh…it was just wrong, man. And there was like, holes in the walls and…the thing that really put me off, one of the windows were like cracked open a little bit? I think that was done deliberately so that when you’re akip in there someone can get in. It was like something out of “Cops”. It was like a room when you know, when “Cops” go in them rooms and arrest people. It was like one of them. I’m like, “Dougie, I’m not staying here.” So we got out. Then a plane went by. You could see the people in the plane, that’s how close the plane was, you know what I mean? It was just wrong, it was a wrong place anyway. I was just, “C’mon. I’m gonna drive. I’m not staying here. I won’t be able to sleep here", it was too weird.

So we got back on the freeway – (we'd just) wasted an hour. All this time…wasted an hour. Stopped at the gas station, filled up. They had a Starbucks there, a 24-hour Starbucks and I had a four-shot latte…and got going and then just drove all the way back. Got back about four in the morning. My eyes were coming out me head. That is weird. And he’s akip in the back of the truck…

Mr. Shovel: That means “asleep”, right?

Steve: He was asleep in the back. When you’re by yourself up there, your mind plays tricks on you and you get the ole white light and the…it’s just weird. I’m sure it does your brain cells in cos you have to concentrate so much, you have to stay awake. So we literally drove for like, fourteen hours, nonstop. I got to bed at about four. I woke up at seven, all like, freaked out, you know? Just kind of a vulnerable feeling. I can’t explain it. I guess it’s travel, you know…and I just got up, I had a cup of tea and I just went back to bed. Didn’t wake up ‘til like, two o’clock, perfect time. (the time his show ends) I could have come in; it would have killed me. Anyway, you wouldn’t have got a great story like that if I would have come in.

Mr. Shovel: So why’d your buddy decide to tell you he lied?

Steve: Cos he wanted to stay. He thought we should have stayed and slept…but it all went wrong – see? See what happens? I say, tossing a coin? That’s how God wants it to be.

Mr. Shovel: It says, “In God We Trust” right there on the coin…

Steve: Exactly! It says it on all money. You toss it, “In God We Trust”. God was right. He wanted us to keep going. But he – Dougie – got silly and took God into his own hands and it all backfired. He defied the Laws of The Pontiff. (inhales dramatically) He must never defy again.

Anyway, I had fun up there, it was good. The show was good. You’ve got to be doing something up in Sundance, though…if you’re sitting on your ass, it’s a waste of time if you don’t ski or snowboard. Lot of birds up there. It gives them a legitimate reason to wear Ugg boots, I’ll give ‘em that much. It’s the only time they should. Don’t wear them in Malibu in the summer. Ugg boots work well up in Sundance. All the different type of models Ugg boots you can get now, there’s so many, you know. They’re like caveman boots, some of them, all the fur hanging off them and whatnot. Funny. There was a bunch of movies…the ones I was talking about…the bird with the teeth in the minge?

Mr. Shovel: (laughing) Yeah…

Steve: I want to see that.

Mr. Shovel: It’s right up your alley, isn’t it.

Steve: Right up my strasse. I want to see that, and I want to see the one with the bloke who liked the horses, fell in love with the horses.

Mr. Shovel: It seemed for some reason that the stuff that was hot were the films that, you know, were really bizarre perversions.

Steve: Yeah, cos you think, are they just putting these movies together just to get attention, or is there some genuine…is this what people do? I mean, do blokes fall in love with horses and have it off with horses? Is it like, a “thing”? I mean, I don’t know if it’s about bestiality or it’s about, if it’s like, a thing, that these blokes love horses and they want to get rumped by horses.

Mr. Shovel: For next year’s festival, people are going to go out of their way to you know, make a film about a guy who puts furniture in his rear end or something.

Steve: But this is fall in love with a horse, I think. Live, loving a horse. I don’t know. I want to see it. (sighs) Should we play some rock and roll? I’ve been talking here for so long. Take it away, Mr. Shovel…