Friday, December 22, 2006

The Christmas Post! More Oasis 2nd hour.

Welcome back to Chriswasanon. Leave a nice polite message. It's just about Christmas Post time innit. "Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day....blah blah you treated me like some goof and deleted me from myspace." That would probably be the 21st Century equivalent like.

Hey Steve wanted pants and socks last year. It's too late for me to get my giftis to him alas, so like Steve you all have to just make do with just a Christmas card. Fill in the complaint form... Eeeh I got fair caught up with the spirit of Christmas this year,so I did going so far to as change my myspace name to "Christmas was Anon" and also House bling was anon too, cos I think that there really is an awful lot of that about, I reckon!

What festive frolics I've been up to, getting kail eyed on rum and ribenas, reciting poetry the like of which you do not want to know. Google "It was Christmas day in the workhouse." In other news Chriswasanon has now officially shifted to Blogger2 which is the new Googlengine for such blogs as make the grade...I think. There hasn't been much of ecleticism here recently.

The Christmas post is a time to change that. I was over at a friend's the other day - admiring her Christmas tree - as ye do. When I asked her where she had got this Sitka spruce, she said that she nicked it. Now she wasn't some yobbish Ned o but she was a terribly naice lady. What's more she nicks her tree from the Forestry Commission each year...Don't blame her. Here at the Byre I shall be bidding fond fare thee wells to all as I head into the fog of the UK to once more familiarise myself with a land of no computers.

Special Christmas greets to those who have kept me sane this year. This a little like the old CwA Hall of fame where noteworthy jukebox bloggers got a mench. So lets do it one more time. The first one more time since the Jones blog died the death in factimundo. In no particular order.

Floratina Without which.
Alison Bling it on, bling it on, bling it on baby.
Rotter Ahahahahahah
Shloemoe Cheers and a seasonal tilt of the water of life.
Maddie For keeping the home fires burning
Robert KP. He's in shape!
Piespace A wise fool z fool.
JR. Knackered what was it JR?
NYC San Fran Gail You go to it babes and deck them.
Aunt Chrissie. Last seen surrounded by tea bags
Quean. She knows a Dr. called Danger.
Chispa Filthy Lucre. Cancelled Madrid gig ticket.
Glenn O We will get Peace on Earth sometime Glenn. Until then...
Pauly Poo! Damned Damned Damned
Bangkok Steve Here's hoping that all is well.
IrishScots She comes and she goes, Celtic Warrior being.
Jewelly All that glisters is not but this person is a true sparkler.
Jade. This woman is that.
Ronen. Happy festival.
Muzz You only get an Anarchy once - get the best from dangerouslyclose

all top geezers and geezerinas

Last the biggest of Ups to Mr. Stephen Jones and Mark Shovel.

All of you is good folks but may I wish you all our readers hall of fame or not, a cracking Christmas and a happy New Year. I will see you all on various networks when we return. Without any further ado here's a transcription for youse. It picks up the continuing Oasis blokes saga where we last left it somewhere down the page. Yes we know it got podcast, that still doesn't mean it's not worthy of the treatment. ..that's it. Merry Yule!!!!

(After a week solo in the spotlight, I've moved this latest part of the transcript down to the Oasis post so that all the bits are together - TJ) click ->LINK

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

December 19, 2006 Affirmations

After Mr. Shovel introduced a recording of soothingly femme-voiced affirmations, Steve was particularly taken by the "abundance" segment.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

December 18, 2006 Deer, Cashews and an Impostor

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Monday on Indie, four minutes after twelve bells. A bit nippy but gorgeous out. Clear as a bell. Last night was a bit chilly but it was, it was nice. Nice, nice, nice. Did I mention I have deer coming in my back yard?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, I think so.

Steve: Yeah…they’re relentless now. They’ve gotten comfortable. They’re just eating everything in sight.

Mr. Shovel: How do they get in there?

Steve: They get in around the back. There’s like a…they go up this hill and come back down and they’ve obviously, they’re limited (in) what they can eat. They only like ivy and stuff. I don’t think they eat a lot of other stuff.

Mr. Shovel: Real picky. Picky eaters.

Steve: Well, yeah. I think they just, I dunno. But I don’t mind them. Let ‘em eat as much as they want, even though it looks like, it looks terrible. It’s not green anymore where they eat. It’s just like…shrubs. But it’ll grow back and it is the season to be giving, you know what I mean? Deer are not excluded.

Mr. Shovel: Well especially deer.

Steve: Yeah, they’re like…reindeer.

Mr. Shovel: Well there you go.

Steve: That’s what I’m talking about. I actually like it, though…having them. I’m glad that I can be of service to the deer.

Mr. Shovel: You know there’s people who would be like, really happy to shoot them.

Steve: Oh, I know.

Mr. Shovel: Pretty ridiculous.

Steve: Yeah it is cos they’re such little creatures of beauty, you know? Non-threatening animals. I don’t understand that whole Ted Nugent concept. Well, his concept is one thing, but just killing them for the sake of it, just for a laugh…

Mr. Shovel: Well they rationalize it by saying, “Well, they’re going to starve to death anyway.” That’s because they’ve run out of land to get food from.

Steve: Right…just ignorant people. Don’t need to do it anymore. Before there were supermarkets I understood, you had to go and kill things to eat, to live. What else is happening? There was something I was going to talk about. Deer…I had a weird dream last night. Oh, I had some, I ate a load of cashew nuts last night. I had a little relapse. I had that “DaVinci Code” movie. Got in bed and I remembered I had a huge bag of cashew nuts so I went and filled up a cup full of them, got back in bed and just started grazing and I woke up this morning not feeling good, felt horrible.

Mr. Shovel: You had some weird dream? Cos of the nuts?

Steve: I dunno. I did have a weird dream. I was at my mum’s place in England and I was kind of staying in there and this person was acting, it was like a bloke, dressed up as a woman, he was acting as my mum…like, a transvestite and fooled me for a long time. Then I suddenly realized, I’m like, “Hey, you’re not my mum, you’re a bloke! What’re you doing here?” Very strange.

Mr. Shovel: Well, of course the psychiatrist would have a field day with this, Steve.

Steve: But that’s what I dreamt. I mean dreams, you must have weird, I mean…dreams just can be endless of madness, the things you come up with in your dreams it’s crazy. I told you that one time that I was having a threesome with Jimmy Carter, right?

Mr. Shovel: Right.

Steve: I mean, where did that come from?

Mr. Shovel: Did you eat peanuts that night?

Steve: Jimmy Carter and his wife…on a shag carpet. A lime green shag carpet. I mean, where does it, where does it come from? I’ve no idea. And then I woke up and my mate Fritz went ‘round to my mum’s and took some flowers and a Christmas present.

(a recording of Mrs. Jones taken from Steve’s mobile phone plays in the background: “Hello…this is Mummy…”

Steve: See, that’s the real one. That’s not the transvestite drag-queen one.

Mr. Shovel: I’m going to let you interpret that yourself.

Steve: I’ve no idea.
A candy-colored clown they call The Sandman
Tiptoes through my room every night
Just to sprinkle stardust
To sleep, everything is all right

My mom’s a transvestite
And she does her hair
into the magic parlor I often stare
it’s not my mum
it’s some bloke dressed up as my mum
where did he come from
this bloke dressed up as my mum

(Mr. Shovel is playing the recording of Steve’s mother here and there in the background)
Mrs. Jones: Hello? This is mummy…

Oh mum what have you done
Oh mum what have you done
Oh ma what have, what have you done to your son
Son, son son!

Mrs. Jones: I want to see how my little baby’s getting on…

Steve: (stops singing) I was hitting the high notes then, Shovel. You was messing about, putting my mum in there. Don’t you listen to what I’m doing?

Mr. Shovel: It’s a…montage.

Steve: That was good though, wunnit? There was one other thing that was going on. (thinking out loud) Mum was a bloke…peanuts…no, cashew nuts…the deer…it was a good game of football – oh what a great game, Chelsea and Everton. Beat Everton 3-2 and the best news of all, Manchester United lost again to West Ham. Let’s play some music. I’m going to play a song that these blokes did in England. It a montage to The Box. It is now ten after twelve bells.

Don’t forget to get out and do your Christmas shopping, especially buy presents for me. I’m not buying one present, by the way. I just thought I’d throw that out there. It’s not that I’m a Scrooge, I just can’t be bothered. Take it away, Mr. Shovel…

Monday, December 18, 2006

Oasis blokes updated!!!! - set your mouse to "scroll" Mr. Sulu.

Welcome back to chriswasanon - so what's Santa gonna bring you then, socks, ties, seditionaries hankies, that would be nice. Lots of good things goin' on at CWA including this blogamp thing and what with Tina having a Helio thingy. I'm foxed...

Third part of the Oasis blokes is on the blog and with any luck we will have it finished tomorrow. The BEER commercial that launched Chas and Dave to stardom was for Courage ale. See the interview. The new bit transcripturizaliseminalli is in green - running out of colours...should be time for one more post before Chrissie. Cheers for now like.

Here is a linkie. LINK


Sunday, December 17, 2006

He hasn't been saying a whole lot lately so I haven't had much to post. Then there are little bits that don't really transcribe well, but are fun to listen to so I am posting the bits here and there with a BlogAmp player that I'm still trying to figure out. Hand in there with me, I'll get there...

Thursday, December 14, 2006

December 13 2006 Hippies, punks

(Steve has just finished playing “If I Could Only Remember My Name” by David Crosby)

Steve: That was an eight minute long kind of jam, probably some weed going down there and maybe some other stuff but you know what I liked about that hippie stuff is that they didn’t care, not like these bands now who go under the pretense of “punk”…punk was supposed to “not care”. You get these bands now who have their deals and they have their merchandising deals with so and so and they sing about, (mimicking) “I’m a prisoner of society!” I mean, that is the biggest load of bollocks I’ve ever heard. At least these hippies just did what they wanted to do, so they’re more “punk” than these ones that’s making out they’re punk, you know. They go home, drive off in their BMW’s or whatever they do. That’s what makes me sick.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Monday, December 11, 2006

Still working on getting those Helio videos posted. Update: I don't have Helio any more! I still have the videos though.


Saturday, December 02, 2006

November 9th. The Oasis blokes visit the box. Updated 12/22/06

The Oasis blokes.

4/12/06 Second gobbet of the Oasis blokes is on the blog. It's in blue. So start a scrolling!

18//12/06 Third part of the Oasis blokes is on the blog this time it 's in green, so gentlemen and gentlewomen start ya scrolling.


Welcome (back) to Chriswasanon, the part of the Internet, where Floratina, the transcriberinatinarina and myself lay down in a useful format, the very best bits of Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 103.1. Sex Pistol Steve Jones spins the decks, chats and has a bit of a craic with the guests. This blog is dead handy like cos, see if you miss a show, there is the chance that you can find it here.

Steve: You’re listenin’ to Jonesy’s jukebox on Indie 103.1. It is one minute after
12 bells, it is Thursday, it is about 79 degrees when I pulled into the garage. Another beautiful day in Southern California. We have Noel Gallagher again, in the studio. Hello.

Noel: Hello.

Steve: What’s your name mate? I forgot.

Terry: Terry.

Steve: What’d you do Tel?

Terry: Play the drums.

Steve: Are you the drummer?

Terry: Yeah.

Steve: At the back as usual. So what’s going on?

Noel: Well we’re doing a little gig tonight after a film screening of a documentary
that was made of us on the road last year. Kind of er…summat to do with this “best of” that’s comin’ out innit?

Gem: Yeah man, well not playin’ many songs from it.

Noel: Yeah but well we’re not playin’ many songs from it but this guy done this documentary of us, it’s about he spent nine months on the road, which is good fun and they’re showin’ that at the Wadsworth Theatre tonight and then we’re getting’ up and doin’ a few tunes an…

Steve: Afterwards?

Noel: Yeah. And then after that we’re off to Tokyo, do the same thing really, a few of these film screenin’s, Q and As (Questions and answers) and all that.

Steve: A lot of people have been after these tickets…

Noel: Have they?

Steve: Yeah, they’ve been drivin’ us potty. No really, like ridiculous.

Noel: The thing is our manager was saying it’s very difficult to give tickets away for anything, because people treat you with suspicion, they’re just like, “mmm…what’s all that about?”

Steve: Yeah, “I wanna pay for it.”

Noel: Yeah, “I wanna pay for it.”

Steve: “I wanna know I’m getting’ my money’s worth.”

Noel: So er there was a bit of a panic on last week cos er…

Terry: …Nobody wanted ‘em.

Noel: Nobody wanted any, cos they were free, I was like, “well just charge people then,” know? But yeah I think it’s gonna be alright tonight I think.

Steve: Yeah I know. Every Tom Dick and Harry is comin’ out of the woodwork. I’ve had blokes callin’ me (like e-mailin’) me, “I’m a plumber if you get me in I’ll do some of yer plumbin’ for nothin’.” Like all that bollocks, you know what I mean? So it should be good?

Noel: Yeah. But other than that, things are great, lovely day.

Steve: Yeah? Do you like it here?

Noel: The older I get, the more I like it. When I first used to come it used to freak me out because…I mean I can’t drive and you used to have to walk everywhere and everywhere is so spread out and you never see anybody. You know you walk into that lobby downstairs and it’s enormous and there’s nobody there, it’s like bein’ in some weird film.

Terry: Yeah the “Omega man,” or somethin’ innit?

Noel: The older that we get, I kind of like it now, you know?

Terry: It’s like fascinatin’ innit, more than anything else.

Noel: But when yer young there’s too many rules you know, the minibar is shut at two o’clock and you can’t get a drink here and you can’t smoke there and you can’t do this and you tend to rebel against that but now it’s kind of like yeah…It’s a nice way of life, I can see why so many people end up here.

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: You know gettin’ up and it’s like the weather it is like today, it’s beautiful and we’re stayin’ on the beach and that, it’s amazing.

Terry: Yeah man.

Steve: For November.

Noel: Can’t beat it, it’s a bit weird when they start playin’ Christ…I’ve been here like in December and they start playin’ “Frosty the Snowman,” in the diners and stuff like that – that’s a bit weird.

Steve: When the sun’s out.

Noel: Yeah when it’s blisterin’. The palm trees are flappin’ in the wind and…

Steve: I love it, I can’t stand Christmas anyway.

Noel: Oh I hate Christmas.

Steve: Reminds me of parents and stuff. ‘Orrible parents.
All laugh.

Noel: Yeah well it’s rubbish anyway though innit, it’s all religious nonsense.

Gem: Yeah it’s only for two days though innit, (worried voice)” Oh I won’t have it done by Christmas.” It’s like, “It’s only two days.” Nowhere is open.

Noel: Yeah but when you’re at work and everyone’s going, “Are you comin’ out for a drink?” “Why is it a Christmas drink?” “You know why don’t you put a little bit of holly in it?“ If we’re goin’ out for a…

Steve: Swearin’ already.

Noel: Sorry.

Terry: Oh have you got to do that?

Steve: (Laughter) I don’t wanna be the one to tell yer, you can’t swear.

Noel: Oh alright, OK.

Terry: Is he goin’back in time there?

Steve: (Like December 1st 1976) ”Go on you have a few more words…” I’m Bill Grundy all of a sudden. “Carry on,” mmm. What does he say?

Noel: (Also like Bill Grundy) “Go on you’ve got thirty seconds left…

Steve: Very good.

Noel ….say something outrageous!”

All laugh. It does sound above everyone laughing and talking at once as if somebody has said “Fuck off.”

Steve: Oh no.

Terry: That’s it. I can leave now, I’m done now.

Steve: Hee hee, “Re-enact Bill Grundy show.” Ah now what was I going to say…

Terry: Unintelligible.

Steve: Do you live in London?

Noel: Yeah I live just off Baker Street, Gem lives in Crouch End. Where did you used to live, down the Kings Road weren’t it?

Steve: Well I ended up, the last place I lived was on West Hampstead. Canfield Gardens.

Noel: Oh right, our manager used to live up there.

Steve: Yeah, I didn’t like it. I was a mess though at the end. I was really…it was a mess but I was brought up in Shepherds Bush, West London. Between Hammersmith, my nan lived in Hammersmith and my mum had a little flat in Shepherds Bush. Finally when I was like twelve they managed to get a council flat in Battersea. When I was about eleven yeah - and I didn’t change schools – they wanted me to change to Battersea, but all my mates were like in Shepherds Bush so I would get up like five.

Noel: Did you have to troll all the way to Battersea?

Steve: Yeah back to Shepherds Bush, back to my school Christopher Wren School in White City estates.

Noel: No need for that.

Steve: I know (pause) but you know I didn’t wanna make new friends you know?

Noel: Yeah cos you rarely like the ones you’ve got anyway, you don’t want any new ones do you?

Steve: I was a loner as well though, I used to like goin’ out shopliftin’ by myself.
All laugh.

Steve: …I found that very entertaining.

Unintelligible comment.

Noel: As opposed to going out socially shop liftin’

All laugh.

Noel: “Let’s go for a Christmas shoplift.”

Steve: Alright!

All laugh.

Steve: Well you didn’t have to tell anyone what to do when you had, you was by yourself you just did your own thing you was more “stealth” you know? When it’s like a bunch of ‘erberts, it draws more attention. It’s so weird my brain used to be like I was invisible you know?

Noel: You used to think you were invisible?

Steve: Yeah! I really did thought I was invisible – no one could see me. As a thirteen toe-rag going into Hamleys, into the, you know Hamleys the toyshop?

All: Yeah, yeah.

Steve: Getting’ into like the warehouse in the back, not in the shop but in the back where they store everythin’ and thinking, “No one’s going to notice it, they’re gonna think I’m workin’ there.”

Noel: It’s like that thing when you were bein’ chased by the police at night time if they come up behind yer, yer just face the wall.

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: Like you suddenly become (laughs) invisible. The coppers gonna run past yer

Terry: If you can’t see them…

Steve: Exactly, ain’t that funny? I think you have to be a bit thick to think like that. I know I did. When I was in approved school (Approved school – crime and punishment for younger offenders, a reformatory - phased out in the UK. in 1972.), there was about six of us in a dorm you know and we’d be messin’ about out in the hallways goin’ into another dorm and hittin’ blokes over the ‘ead with pillows and then runnin’ back in, into our dorm. Anyway the bloke came runnin’ in and he was right behind us - we all run in the dorm. Everyone like got into bed and lied down and this one bloke was a bit late…so he was like leanin’ up (probably demonstrating this) against his bed like he was asleep like this, right? So stupid, you know what I mean? That’s er…(pondering) I dunno why we do that.

Noel: So do you ever go back? I know you went back when you did the gigs and all that but did you ever go back just to…?

Steve: Not really, no. I get claustrophobic when I go back there. Funnily enough.

Noel: I know what you mean, here everything is very spread out. It takes two minutes to cross the road don’t it? I know what you mean though, London is kind of very dark. Man you’ve been there what for longer than anyone?

Gem: I’ve been there 20 years man. I was just sayin’ this the other day, man, it’s like….ehhh, my love affair is still goin’ strong. I love it man!

Steve: In London?

Gem: But I’m from the North, “proper North”
you know?

Terry: Fuckin’ right!

Steve: Aye.

Gem: (Starts to laugh then stops) .Newcastle you know what I mean and… he’s from my home town, innit? (referring to Terry).

Terry: It’s fucking great.

Steve: (Laughs and under breath softly says, “Oh dear”).

Noel: It’s his first time ever in California.

Gem: Terry is, yeah.

Terry: Oh aye.

Gem: He’s thinkin’ he’s gonna put his hand through the screen.

Terry: It’s nice though, I like it. It’s good.

Gem: It’s a real sea, it’s not sprayed on.

Steve: Are you married or anything?

Terry: No. I’ve got a beautiful girlfriend but I’m not married.

Noel: Oh can I say hello to my missus Sara, (Sarah?) she’s listenin’ to this back in England…

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: ….I don’t know if you can get this on the Internet?

Steve: Yeah, yeah.

Noel: “Alright Sarah darlin’.” I think she’s smiling.

Gem: My missus is workin’, parents evenin’, she’s a teacher.

Steve: You all ‘ave birds then?

Gem: Oh yeah.

Noel: Yeah.

Terry: (Lustily). Oh yeah.

All laugh.

Terry: Me tryin’ to get in the good books here I tell yer.

More laughter.

Steve: Funny stuff! Shall we er, play a song?


More to come.

A definite work in progress.


Steve: Do you like the Who?

Noel: Love ‘em! Did you not see them the other night, they were in town weren’t they?

Steve: Yeah I didn’t go, I’m tryin’ to get Townsend on ‘ere but I’m havin’ a hard time.

Noel: Really?

Steve: Yeah he’s busy, I’m sure he’s got everyone pullin’ ‘im everywhere.

Noel: No I loved the Who, one of the reasons for being in a band is listenin’ to Who records, innit?

Steve: Yeah, he’s fantastic. What shall I say? Who shall I say we’re here with, some of Oasis? I don’t want to keep goin’ through all the names.

Noel: Yeah just say Noel and Gem that’s ?

Terry: What about me?

Steve: Noel and Gem…

Noel: And Terry.

Steve: And the bloke in the back.

Noel: Yeah and little Terry from the back. Mongo.

All laugh.

Steve: Let’s play the Who, “Who’s next,” take it away.

They return.

Steve: You’re listenin’ to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 103.1 with Noel Gallagher, Gem and the drummer in the back.

Terry: Terry!

Steve: Terry with his hands raised. He’s happily got a girlfriend. (Reads out the previous songs played.) There was a couple of swear words that I think Mr. Shovel caught. So what was we talkin’ about? What was we savin’ for now?

Noel: Oh yeah, see this…I’ve got a copy here in front of me, if you’re listenin’ at home of “Definitely Maybe” right and when we used to ? we’ve got a tune on this called “Diggsy’s Dinner” when we first started comin’ to the States the journalists always used to say: “Tell me about the song Diggsy’s Diner?”
I’d always go, it’s dinner you know I’d be kinda like, it would always put you in a bad mood after that going, “idiots,” you know what I mean? I only noticed yesterday, right, on the American label…

? Diggsy’s Diner.

Noel: …it actually says “Diggsy’s Diner,” right so I’m half way through an interview with a guy and he says, “Oh tell me about Diggsy’s Diner?” I’m going, I’m sick of this, I’ve had twelve years of this so I grabbed it off him and I said, “Look what it says on the cover, it says, “Diggsy’s…(slight pause then quieter) It says, “Diggy’s Diner.” “Diggsy’s Diner.” He was goin’ – It’s always been “Diggsy’s Diner.” I was like, “No wonder we didn’t get on well over here you know with journalists.” So…our interviews were endin’ after ten minutes, just going right everybody, “Well if you can’t bother readin’ the cover mate, I’m off!”

Steve: Oh right.

Noel: So yeah I’m absolutely amazed but there you go. “Diggsy’s Diner.”

Steve: So how do you think that happened then?

Noel: I think that when it’s been pressed up over here in the factories someone’s looked at – whoever’s done the handwriting and sent it over has gone: “Surely it can’t be dinner, it must be diner.”

Steve: Right, cos there’s a lot of diners here.

Noel: Yeah. “So what’s dinner?” You know what I mean, so there you go.

Steve: What we call “kaffs” (café), they call “diners” here.

Gem: Yeah, oh man, “sweater”.

Steve: Sweaters, jumpers.

Gem: Not pants, trousers.

Noel: We had one the other day in a lift, (elevator) about sweaters and jumpers, it was very confusing wasn’t it.

Gem: Yeah.

Steve: Balaclava.

Noel: Boots and trunks.

Steve: Hob nail boots (In Scotland known as tacketty boots).

Noel: (Laughing) What’s the American equivalent of an hob nailed boot?

Steve: (US. Accent and quite loud) Hob nail boot! So you’re off to Japan?

Noel: We’re off to Tokyo for a few days to do…

Steve: Yer basically promotin’ this…

Noel: Yeah this, “Best of” that’s come out.

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: We’ve got a couple of things in London, one in Manchester and then we kick it in the head round about Christmas time I think, don’t we?

Gem: Yeah.

Steve: Do you ever go back to Manchester?

Noel: Yeah, I go back, if I go back it’s to see the football, me Mam kind of still lives in the same council house but she always comes down to see us really and the grandkids and all that. So I don’t go back as regular as I used to, to be honest. It’s all changed now though, cos like when the IRA bombed it, they rebuilt the city centre and there’s kind of lots of places I don’t recognise anymore…

Steve: Really?

Noel …you know? But it’s nice, it’s all shiny and new, you know glass and stainless steel and it’s all very posh but a lot of the character has gone out of the city centre I think.

Steve: Ain’t there a lot of ‘erberts runnin’ around?

Noel: Toe-rags wi (with) guns?

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: Loads of ‘em, yeah.

Steve: So that’s gotten worse, that?

Noel: (sharp intake of breath) I think it’s always been, I think it’s always been pretty bad but they’ve just…there was a big funeral last week that caught the public attention. Some guy - whose name was Jessie James funnily enough - had been just shot at a drive-by with a machine gun or summat (something) you know. Just like some kiddies about fifteen.

Steve: Right.

Noel: But it’s pretty bad, there’s a couple of books out about it, about the gang warfare and it’s like when you actually read it, it’s mental, do you know what I mean? That’s happenin’ round where you grew up, you know?

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: It’s crazy but it’s all kids, I don’t even know where would you get a machine gun in England? You know. No idea.

Steve: I think it’s just a sign of the times. When your parents were younger, someone with a knife was like a big deal.

Noel: I guess it’s just like the shocking thing about the sixties was the Mods and the Rockers and Teddy Boys and all that, I guess (its just) what you say, things just move onto a more shockin’ thing now you know, it’s guns and knives.

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: Sad though man, you think kids grow up like that, you know what I mean?

Gem: And every generation freaks out, but it is right man, it’s always gone on.

Steve: Yeah.

Gem: The Romans were at it, you know what I mean?

(All laugh).

Steve: Yeah, they were definitely at it.

Gem: What, with machine guns?

Terry: They rode elephants in England didn’t they?

Noel: “Here are, we’d better cross over ‘ere, there’s a couple of Romans comin up here the other side mate.”

(All laugh.)

Steve: They got them skirts on!

Noel: Yeah and brushes on their ‘eads. No brushes on their helmets and skirts made out of daggers!

Steve: Red paint.

Noel: Don’t catch their eye! (laughs)

Steve: Hot Lava. (Probably a reference to the destruction of Pompeii by the volcano, Vesuvious in AD. 79)

Noel: Good nightclub that!

Steve: Mmm. They were a funny bunch weren’t they, Romans, they liked a bit of the other.

Noel: Who the Romans?

Steve: Yeah, liked havin’ it off with each other.

Noel: Well soldiers do in general don’t they? Allegedly.

Steve: So I’ve heard.

Noel: Cat’s? findin’ this all very amusin’

Steve: Is this good? (There’s a female guest in the studio too)

Terry: Yeah, yeah (Laughs). Is this good radio?

Cat?: Yeah it is brilliant.

Steve: (To Terry) You can come forward if you want.

Terry: Yeah, whatever!

Noel: He’s prone to bad language though that fellow though.

Terry: No, I know I am.

Steve: Stay back there then.

Terry: No I know I’ll stay here.

Gem: He’ll chip in for your fine wont you Tel? (Terry had already been “profane” on this show).

Steve: Can you try not to swear?

Terry: No I won’t swear.

Steve: Promise?

Terry: (A comment possibly profane but indistinguishable)

Gem: That’s yer PD’s gone Tel. (Tel, short form of Terry).

Noel: That’s a hundred dollar fine for that.

Steve: Oh funny. Funny feller. Where’s yer brother, you’re not doin’ anything with yer brother?

Noel: No Liam doesn’t do acoustic things, you know when we’re on tour and we go to radio stations and all that and: “I’m goin’ to be a rock and roll band, I’m not a folk band,” you know?

Steve: Mmm.

Noel: And he rarely does interviews so as all this is based on doin’ interviews and strummin’ the acoustic guitar, he’s kind of at home but he’s just moved into a new house ain’t he? He’s getting on wi that. But he’s doin’ the Irish leg. So he can get on the lash. (Get on the lash – go out and get drunk.) Out there so…

Gem: But he’s very well behaved in Ireland you know.

Noel: Is he really?

Gem: He is really. All your aunties get on his case man.

Noel: Do they really?

Gem: Yeah man!

Noel: Really?

Gem: Seriously man.

Noel: In what way? What tell ‘im to calm down and behave himself?

Gem: Er….

Noel: We should bring them out on the road with us!

Gem: Absolutely.

Noel: Auntie Riley?

Steve: Who’s that?

Gem: His aunties, all the Irish contingent.

Noel: Well apparently they can tame the Beast.

Gem: The Beast. Well there yer go, it’s the pastel mafia innit, man.

All laugh.

Steve: Do you get along with him? Has he got that singer, (See our Marco transcript) I was talkin’ to Marco Pirroni about singers and there they were like a different breed. Would you…?

Noel: Yeah, well even doin’ these gigs, I was sayin’ to Gem the other night, you know we played Toronto and I was like, “I dunno about this to make a living out of,”
Cos when you’re kind of stood on the side of the stage. Throw the odd backing vocal in, you’re kind of in the gig with the audience almost. When yer,singin,yer kind of in yer own head space I guess. I’d rather do what we do than what they do. Cos they seem (a) very insecure bunch of idiots.

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: All of ‘em.

Steve: I agree,

Noel: Totally. But they think that we’re as guitarists, we’re arrogant, what they don’t realise is we’re far superior…

Steve: They think…

Noel: …a creature than they are.

Steve: They think we’re disposable too. Well they think any other band member is disposable.

Noel: Yeah and they’re always at this: “Can you turn that down,”

Noel: Like, “I’m gonna turn it off if anything.” The worst it’s gonna do is stay where it is.

Steve: I think you have to be cut from a different cloth to be that singer, you know?

Gem: Totally, man

Steve: Cos to be there with everyone looking cos like when you’re singin’ you’re kind of like…(Demonstrating)

Noel: It must be worse, if you’re singin’ and playin’ guitar that kind of lessens the…cos it’s not as scary when you’re playin’ as well.

Steve: You’ve got something to do.

Noel: Yeah.

Steve: When you’re standin’ there…

Noel: I don’t think I’d be able to do that, that’d do my ‘ead in.

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: I’m not into that.

Gem: Liam’s he…

Steve: He likes it right?

Gem: Oh man of course he loves it!

Steve: He lives for it? Yeah.

Gem: I know Liam wouldn’t want to play the guitar so that just proves it don’t it man?

Noel: Yeah but he holds it too high, anyway, he looks like a poof.

Gem: But he says, it don’t half upset him, “don’t you fancy playin’ it (Very difficult to make this comment out, Steve cleared his throat, Terry was laughing in the background). “No way man.” That’s all he does he’s…

Noel: It’s all about where you ‘old it as well innit, you see?

Gem: You’ve got to hold it well.

Noel: When we was getting’ into playin’ guitar, you held it down there man (Demonstrates) and I was like: “Oh well, that’s where I’m holdin’ mine.” I’m not havin’ all this nonsense.

Steve: I know when the Beatles, they had ‘em all up here (Demonstrates) didn’t they?

Noel: Yeah.

Gem: Like they didn’t sell long straps in them days.

Steve: And everyone, leather was tight back then! (Tight, possibly meaning scarce) Everyone was like, you do, you like follow fads like in the forties, everyone used to wear trilby hats. (Note: as I transcribe I’m wearing a trilby hat! Well it keeps my head warm and it’s parky here at the moment, ahem…) At football games, everyone had flat caps you know it’s the same with (pause) guitar straps.

Gem: They all go to ridiculous lengths!

Noel: Yeah and then all those cats in Green Day, it’s like (Demonstrates) down here, innit?

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: There’s none of that, ‘ooky, Peter Hook from New Order took it to depths that’s it’s never been to before.

Steve: What did he do? Put it on an elastic band or something?

Noel: Yeah it was, virtually on the floor.

Steve: He wasn’t even holding it?

Noel: No it was on the floor and he was kind of it just looked ridiculous.

Gem: That’s another thing, you’ve got to get your stance right, I mean how old is he now?

Noel: 406 man.

Gem: You’ve got to keep that up.

Steve: I’m startin’ to wanna lift mine up a little bit more.

Noel: Really?

Steve: Yeah.From down there (Demonstrates), yeah.

Noel: Well you play Les Paul you see and it’s crucial in relation to the hip where that guitar is, cos it’s not like a semi-acoustic where you’ve got about half a foot to play with either way and it still looks alright. With a Les Paul it’s either down there (Demonstrates) or you look like one of the guys from the Oldman Bros playin’up there and that looks ridiculous.

Gem: But you can’t play Les Paul high, can you?

Noel: No. George (Harrison) played one in the Beatles, didn’t he, when we seen him playin’ “Revolution.”

Gem: Yeah true.
Noel: But you can’t, he can get away with anything but I wouldn’t be goin’ above the belt buckle.

Steve: You got any Les Pauls?

Noel: Yeah loads.

Gem: Shed loads haven’t you man. (Shed loads – large quantity).

Steve: You play a lot of them er…

Noel: I play 335. I used to start off playin’ Les Pauls, and the it’s just so heavy.

Steve: Yeah they are.

Noel: Do you know what I mean and I’m only a little feller.

Steve: I walk like this (Probably demonstrating this somehow).

Noel: Yeah I’ve got slopin’

Steve: If you look behind me when I’m walkin’ I’m like lop sided, I’m sure it’s that!

Noel: Yeah, it is, one of…

Steve: Or wanking to much, one of the two.

Gem: It is all that, I’m tellin’ you man.

Noel: Well one side of yer neck compensates for the other.

Gem: Mine’s all stretched down one side and it proper went out on the last tour in Germany, got up on the mornin’ freezin’ cold – proper put it out. And there were, this geezer to click yer back And I was like, “You what.” And I’ve never had any of that and he puts you in a headlock, breathe in and you go “kukk” (Creaking or cracking sound. It’s the scariest thing ever, man.

Noel: I get that, I get that regular, I’ve had two…what are they called, Chiropracter. Said to me recently, I’d kind of got a stiff neck and all that, “You’re gonna have to change yer guitar playin’ style.” I was like, “What? Now? I don’t think so!” You know and he was goin’, “Well it’s only gonna get worse.” I was like, “Well I’d rather be a cripple than having to play like (Indistinguishable) not havin’ any of that.

Gem: The guy last night. The other one is volume innit?

Steve: Oh he has his up here don’t he (Demonstrates).

Gem: High guitar and probably on No. 2.

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: Yeah change yer guitar playin’ style just like that, I don’t think so. Not this late in the day.

Steve: Didn’t you tell him who you were?

Noel: I told him who I think I used to be.

(All laugh).

Steve: We’ve got to visit the Duke, visit the Duke, we’re here with Noel Gallagher,
Gem, the boy in the background.

Terry: Terry.

Steve: Terry

Noel: And the lovely Cat

Steve: And the lovely Cat. We’re gonna visit the Duke, we’ll be right back, fanx for listenin’.

OK here finally is the last bit of the first hour!!! Enjoy!

Steve: You’re listenin’ to Jonesy’s jukebox on Indie 103.1, Noel Gallagher, Gem and Matey boy in the back. How yer doin’ back there?

Terry: I’m alright man.

Steve: (Laughing and attempting Northern accent) Sound! I was just talkin’ to ‘im about radio and the way radio is these days and how, he was on about…

Gem: London’s shocking.

Steve: Dreadful eh?

Noel: I think that people that run radio nowadays see it as a means to sell washin’ up liquid as opposed to – it’s all about the tunes innit, do you know what I mean and once the advertisers get involved, it’s a bit, it’s a bit shockin’ you know.

Steve: Well there’s always been advertisin’.

Noel: Yeah.

Steve: That’s what pays the bills. That’s what pays the bills here but it’s what you play in between.

Gem: Yeah. (Indistinguishable).

Steve: There’s no choice, it’s all the same old rubbish basically and it seems to be it’s a top ten thing that’s based around Walmart, if your not in the Walmart records then your not gonna get charted. It’s like the little guy or whatever, the record shops have been pushed aside, and it seems like the radio’s doin’ the same thing, it’s ‘orrible. Other than…

Noel: Other than Indie 103.

Steve: …Jonesy’s Jukebox. Well of course! Did you have to…like when you was…back in the ‘90’s, K-rock used to play right?

Noel: Yeah.

Steve: Did they er…

Noel: Yeah you ‘ave to go in and do a lot. When we first come over here after out first tour was about four weeks I think after about 10 days we kind of got a bit fed up with the circus that says, “You gotta go and meet this guy, cos if you meet this guy he puts yer records at the front of the thing and if you meet the radio (indistinguishable) and if you do this and if you do that…” And we just couldn’t be bothered in the end, you have to go to these radio stations and do, you know they would just try and make or set up ridiculous sketches for you to do like you were on some comedy programme, or summat, you know…

Steve: Alright. It’s very political too, different stations.

Noel: It’s kinda like that in England, you know, when you brought a new tune out if a certain deejay on Radio 1. doesn’t get it first, then all hell breaks loose. They get quite childish about it. It should be, “Well why can’t they all get it on the same day?” It’s like, “Well Radio 1. has to have it first!” Even if it’s only by an hour.

Steve: Exactly. Who knows? No one listening knows the difference.

Noel: There’s a guy whose comin’ ‘ome from work who Radio 1’s played at 11 o’clock in the mornin’, so if he hears at first at 6 on Vir(Virgin Radio)…who…does he? What does it matter?

Steve: He ain’t thinkin’ about, “Oh I wonder if they played it first?”

Noel: “Yeah I must tune into Radio 1 cos they’ll have the new Greenday single on at 11.” Rubbish, but it’s a…

Steve: Did you get a weird phone call?

Noel: A weird phone call?

Steve: From K-rock? That you were comin’ on ‘ere sayin’, “Don’t go on ‘ere.”

Noel: No.

Steve: Cos that’s what everyone does….

Noel: Really?

Gem: Oh really?

Steve: …over there anyone whose anyone if they wanna come on Indie or have anything to do with Indie or Jonesy’s Jukebox or whatever. Or, everyone’s kind of “quietly informed” that if they have anything to do with Indie, they won’t be played over there.

Noel: Brilliant!

Terry: Good move!

(All laugh).

Noel: Yeah brilliant, well (pause) thank God for that.

Steve: Yeah and it’s a fear based thing, nothing ever actually gets done but everyone’s so terrified of not bein’ playin’ on K-rock that they do what is told.

Noel: The whole radio thing on a National basis anyway, it’s all about what you know, it’s all about who you know and all that. If your radio – well I don’t what it’s like (here) but isn’t that why this digital radio started that, sss…

Steve: Satellite?

Noel: Yeah satellite, yeah what Sirius in New York you know they’ve just taken back from how it used to be in the old days where it’s all about…(changes tack) I can’t be makin’ accusations like this on a radio station! (Laughs) Boy, it’s pretty corrupt anyway by all accounts!

Steve: Yeah, of course!

Noel: Apparently they’ve taken that all back and it’s all about the music which is great but…we’ll see how that goes, I don’t know.

Steve: I’ve listened to it a couple of times I just don’t think…I don’t know how popular it’s gonna take off, cos you gotta pay for it.

Noel: Well there’s digital radio in England (CWA notes And Scotland and Northern Ireland and Wales BTW – reception is pretty iffy in rural areas though, it hasn’t been rolled out 100% –as per so the bods in rural areas get the bum deal,Back to the interview). But you can only listen to it either through your TV. or you have to have a digital radio.

Steve: They’re sayin’ that all new cars, they’re gonna put it in there for nothing.

Noel: Probably will in the end though, I’d have thought. But some of the stuff on digital radio is great because, the music side of it is great.

Gem: More chance of getting a curved ball innit, which is what it’s about innit!

Noel: Yeah.

Steve: But for me you know, I don’t know what it’s like in England but when you wanna get a TV. yer channels, I got like satellite and you get like, oh (US accent) “With this package you get 10 HBOs, 20 Showtimes,” and it’s all pants. There’s one HBO that’s any good, the rest is rubbish. I don’t want all them, I just want the History Channel, Football Channel and an HBO. “How much can I get that for?” I don’t want 100 other things with like Claude van Dam on at four in the mornin’.

Noel: I don’t wanna know who’s top of the Peruvian Football League, I don’t need to know that. I don’t need to be watchin’ African basketball. Don’t even want to be watchin’ that either.

Steve: Or Japanese basketball. Midgets…

Gem: Well maybe you should.

Steve: Actually that would be good.

Noel: “Midget basket ball.” (Sports commentator mode) “Welcome back to the midget basketball it’s nil nil, still here…”

Gem: “Sponsored by Adidas…trampolines.

All laugh.

Noel: “Uncannily this is the fifteenth time in a row,” he’s just been taken out by the ball again.

Steve: Hold it. Lets add a bit more to it. “Gay midget…”

Noel: “Gay midgets?” (Laughs)

Gem: Japanese midget.

Noel: Gay Japanese midget basket ball,

Steve: I’ll buy that!

Noel: Can you get that on HBO?

Steve: I want that channel!

Gem: Imagine what that package is!

Steve: Ah funny stuff. So what you gonna play tonight or is it a secret?

Noel: No we’re just gonna do, there’s not that many songs that I can sing, that Liam sings because he’s kind of…I put him in the same league as your old singer, Johnny.

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: You can’t cover Johnny, you can’t sing a Pistols song only John can sing. And I’ve been at festivals, it’s usually American bands get up and they’re gonna do “Anarchy in the UK.”

Gem: Motley Crüe.

Steve: Yeah I know.

Gem: And you go, “oh man shocking!”

Noel: If yer gonna do it don’t announce that yer gonna do it, just go into it, cos as as soon as you say, “Uh we’re gonna play a song with the Sex Pistols.” That’s the cue to go to the bar, immediately. It’s like, “I’m not fookin’ ‘avin this,” you know? And I’ve seen bands get up and they’re tryin’ to do “Pretty Vacant” and yer just like, “Stop it man.” You’ve gotta be that guy to sing it. So the songs that we’re doin’ tonight are kind of mostly ones that I would sing and they’re kind of all “b” sides and that. There’s a few but…It’ll be interestin’ to see the crowd reaction cos a lot of them are not, they’re not famous songs.

Gem: No.

Noel: I mean we’re doin’, “Don’t look back in Anger” and “Wonderwall” and all that but…

Steve: (Belched loudly) Oh they probably thing yer gonna be doin’.

Noel: Well if anyone’s listenin’, then you thought wrong didn’t yer. But we won’t be doin’ Sex Pistols songs.

Steve: Alright. They’ll be doin’ er…

Noel: Does John (Lydon) still live out here?

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: Do you see him?

Steve: Not much.

Noel: He’s got some Superbugs programme ain’t he? (Megabugs)

Gem: Ah my kid loves it!

Noel: Oh really?

Gem: He loves it!

Noel: Have you watched it?

Gem: Yeah.

Noel: Is it good?

Gem: Yeah actually you know what it is, it’s alright.

Steve: What channel’s that on, the midget channel?

Gem: It’s on (laughs) what’s it actually called?

Noel: Superbugs?

Gem: Superbugs, yeah yeah. Obviously it’s all come from that jungle thing ain’t it (I’m a celebrity get me out of here). But it’s alright man. I’d rather watch that, than the powder puff girls, do you know what I mean?

Noel: When we were recording the last album, we started doing it in Cornwall and it’s when he was in the jungle and we were up all night, cos they have a live streaming of it where you can just watch them on infra-red sleepin’ in the bunks.

Gem: He was the geezer.

Noel: We would stay up all night, sittin’ there watchin’…

Steve: Hee hee. (Laughing).

Noel: …John Lydon just in case he done anything, everyone’s goin’, “What are you up to?” We were like, “This is just so incredible, it’s unbelievable man.”

Gem: It’s amazin’. Did you see any of it?

Steve: Nah.

Gem: Oh no! It was mental!

Steve: They didn’t ‘ave it ‘ere, they didn’t show it here.

Gem: It was like stuff (Indecipherable)…he has to put protective goggles on…

Noel: He was bein’ attacked by big emus… (Laughs).

Gem: Emus. And he’s got to go in and get like a gold star or something from…There was five emus peckin’ at his mohawk.

Steve : I heard all the old grannys were like taking to him.

Noel: Yeah.

Gem: Yeah! He done well. Hey he was charmin’, he was great man, he was a geezer man.

Noel: Did he walk out in the end? I think he walked out, he didn’t get voted out, did he?

Gem: Yep.

Noel: I think he walked out in the end.

Steve: Do you think that was a smart move? Or do you think he would have won it?

Noel: I think he might have got very close you know, I don’t know, I think he’d probably just had enough.

Steve: Who was he up against, the bird with big tits weren’t it?

Noel: There was Jor…I can’t remember.

Gem: I don’t know.

Steve: Jordan? Weren’t she in it?

Noel: She was in one of ‘em. She won it!

Steve: That was a footballer, weren’t it?

Noel: Oh whatsisname, Razor Ruddock.

Steve: Midget in he?

Gem: Oh yes.

Steve: That’s right!

Noel: “I’m a midget, get me out of here.”

Steve: (Laughs).

Noel: Razor Ruddock was in it and er…I can’t remember well they’re all fairly forgettable characters.

Gem: No he was good Razor Ruddock, they were all like, “Well what do you do when you get hungry?” He went, “I’ve never been hungry.”

Steve: Who said that?

Gem: Razor Ruddock. Cos its all about well you can do a task and you get some food and…

Noel: Ah but ‘im and John were at loggerheads cos Ruddock used to play for Tottenham and…(Great rivalry between the Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur, two North London football clubs)

Steve: Arsenal.

Noel: John’s an Arsenal fan in he?

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: He was giving him a bit of stick (teasing) about that.

Steve: Funny stuff.

Noel: Mmm.

Steve: Have you ever thought about doin’ anything else than playin’ music? Have you ever been approached to do any acting and anything like that?

Noel: Eh do you know what? I…Do you know Keith Allen? (Ex of the “Comic Strip” an “Alternative” comedian).

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: Keith Allen phoned me up once and there was some programme goin’ on about summat (something) or other and, I have to say for my sins I did take part but it was never…I don’t think it was ever shown but it was quite funny. But I’m not…I’ve been on film sets with…but it’s just, see cos with the music it’s like one take and it’s done innit?

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: On to the next one but acting, that’s not my bag really.

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: I couldn’t be bothered with it. Have you? You haven’t have you?

Steve: I’ve done bits and pieces but I really don’t like it.

Noel: It’s always…I mean video was to me, when you’re you know you’re doin’ a video and some guy will, you know, the premiss of the video is is you playin’ the guitar, mimin’ and some video director will come up and go, “That was brilliant, but can I see some power in yer eyes?”

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: Just like, “Do what man?” “what, ‘power?’” “How does that work?”

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: Go like that. (Makes a face expressing “power” presumably) Do you know what I mean? But yeah, “Can we just do it with a bit more energy in yer face?” “No!”

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: “I need to leave now.”

Steve: It’s a…

Noel: See youse (you) lot never had to do videos, you were lucky in that respect you come along before the video, really before…I mean you done promos didn’t yer?

Steve: Proper videos yeah.

Noel: You done promos which I’ve seen (GSTQ, etc.) But the “proper” videos, you’d ‘ave ‘ated it.

Steve: Mmm. Nick Egan did yours didn’t he, early ones?

Gem: Yeah.

Noel: Oh you know that was, he’s a Chelsea fan and all in he?

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: Oh he’s top Nick. The last time we were on the video shoot we were throwin’ at ‘im obscure Chas and Dave tracks, remember “Gertcha”?

Steve: Yeah!

Gem: Oh yeah.

Noel: Big Chas and Dave fan and we would go and he was going on about such and we were goin’, “Never mind “Rabbit” what about “Gertcha.”

Steve: That was an ad for a beer weren’t it, it was a beer commercial, “Gertcha,” it was for like “Guinness” or something.

Noel: Was it? Right.

Steve: I remember it, it was somethin’, it was a beer commercial, “Gertcha.”

Noel: He’s alright Nick actually, good lad.

Steve: Yeah he’s probably a listener.

Noel: Is he?

Steve: He lives out ‘ere.

Noel: Yeah I know, I know. Well if your listenin’ Nick why don’t you…surely you’ll be comin’ tonight, everybody else seems to be.

Steve: I don’t think a lot of people know how to get tickets though…

Noel: I think they’re all gone now anyway, I think you have to go some…

Gem: Do you have to go to a box office, somewhere like that?

Cat: Try on the Internet.

Steve: On the Internet?

Cat: Yeah.

Steve: Call 999, get yer tickets there. (UK. Equivalent to 911 but you knew that surely?) Scotland Yard. Are you gonna do another record?

Noel: Yeah eventually, yeah.

Steve: Yeah?

Noel: I don’t know when it will be though, I mean we got, we’ve got quite a few songs left over from the last one, we’ve got four that we think are great. We could kind of start mixin’ ‘em tomorrow if we wanted but…it’s just a case of. We only got back off our tour in March which was one year and one month and I’m…I don’t know about Gem but I’m feelin’ pretty uninspired at the minute to write anythin’. I’m still in…in my ‘ead I’ve just come back off (the) tour.

Gem: Me too, it’s kind of flown.

Noel: I’m not now thinking, “Right let’s go and start another record, I’m still kind of comin’ out of that. So we’re in one of those lucky positions where we don’t really…I mean we ‘aven’t got a record deal now anyway. We’re out of a deal, if we’re gonna stay on our own in England. So we don’t ave anybody pushin’ us to do anythin’.

Steve: Are you gonna bother with a record deal?

Noel: I don’t know what… No because I mean particularly in England, all they amount to really record deals is somewhere to go to borrow money to make a record. But we’ve got enough money now to make our own records so I think the plan is to just stay on our own in England and license it out to the rest of the world I think.

Steve: How would you distribute it?

Noel: Don’t know my manager looks after all that, I couldn’t tell yer. I’m still tryin’ to get my ‘ead round puttin’ a needle on a record and music comin’ out of the speakers, I don’t know anything about that. How you manage to get it in the shops.

Steve: But it’s definitely a whole different ballgame.

Gem: Some band released summat on memory stick the other day.

Steve: What’s that?

Gem: Like exactly, aren’t they the things you put in cameras or somethin’ They released…I don’t know who it was but they released music on that, like we were sayin’. It’s Satan, innit man, really.

Steve: It’s the tip of the iceberg…

Gem: Yeah totally.

Steve: …the technology. You don’t know what’s gonna come ‘round the corner.

Noel: Well every time we put a record out which usually averages out about once every threeyears and it’s literally like startin’ out all over again every three years cos you come…and now every album has to come with a DVD of you lot in the studio in yer socks playin’ the tunes, whereas the magic about music and all the music we loved…you don’t know what the New York Dolls looked like, or how you made that record or how The Who made their records. There’s no pictures of everybody kind of like at three in the morning going, “Yeah man, try a Fender on it!” Do you know what I mean? You’re kind of left as a kid to make it all up for yourself. Whereas now, you know bands have webcams in the studio. That’s a load of old bollocks that is. I’m not into that but you have to now because like kids demand, “Well where’s the 25 minute DVD, the making of…? ” Which usually entails (the) band all sat round goin’ “Yeah and on Thursday right what we done was we moved the drumkit over to the other bit of the studio and that sounded just the same really but kind of different at the same time. Let’s have a listen!”

Steve: (Laughs) Funny. Sign ‘o the Times.

Gem: Well it is innit man.

Steve: Sign ‘o the Times.

Noel: I know even the promotional stuff you’ve got to do changes and…records used to come out and you used to be able to buy ‘em in the shops but now you hear a record and it keeps on the radio for 6 weeks and it’s still not released, you know. And then it’s released on the Internet first and then it gets into the charts before it’s been released and it’s all very confusin’ to me.

Gem: Yeah, it’d be great man, if the minute it was played on the radio, it was on sale.

Noel: Yeah.

Gem: Cause it would level everybody, you know, everybody knows all these big bands and they’ve got a…they’ve got a horseshoe in their glove. (Unfair advantage to have an iron "horseshoe” in your boxing glove) you know what I mean, you can’t compete but if you had to go on sale, you’d have records goin’ up and down the charts…

Noel: Like they used to.

Steve: Yeah yeah.

Gem: People getting’ behind it and word of mouth and…

Noel: Remember like when you used to listen to the Top 40 countdown and records used to go up the charts. Now records only go down the charts and they go in at No. 5 and then they…

Steve: …And then they come down.

Noel: …from there. But I remember listenin’to the chart when you know Bowie and Slade and all that and T-Rex and it was kind of records were goin’ up and down and some records would go up one week, down the next and then back up again.

Steve: Yeah yeah.

Noel: Mental!

Gem: But like I read somethin’ the Arctic Monkeys said and they were goin’ – asked about “Top of the Pops” “It wasn’t our generation” and I could see that but they’re not one of them bands as well that kind of cane ("cane" excessive behaviour ) all the media.

Noel: No they’re just different to us eh.

Gem: They’re not on TV. shows and stuff, it’s kind of Old Skool New Skool.

Steve: What new bands do you like?

Gem: I like them!

Noel: (Unintelligible comment) If you’ve never seen them live, they are pretty good.

Gem: Kasabian.

Terry: The drummer’s good.

Noel: The drummer’s great actually.

Gem: Yeah.

Noel: I like a lot of bands tunes they’ve got like a few good tunes but they’re not necessarily great bands you see some of ‘em and you think, “There’s summat just…” There’s a lot of bands now where you look at them and you like their music and stuff but there’s summat just not right about it. You think, you know. When we started we was a gang do you know what I mean? Not like a shoplifting gang or anything but we we were kind of all hung out on the same estate and all that. Now there’s always the suggestion that they’ve been kind of “put together” somehow. Which for me personally is, if the music’s great and they’ve got that “something,” it’s kind of, bowls you away really like when you’ve seen the Strokes for the first time – now whether people like the Strokes music or not, they look like they all hung out together, they all dress the same and they look like a band.

Steve: Yeah.

Gem: Or the Kings of ? (Indistinguishable). Or something you know.

Steve: And they came off and they still had the same clobber on?

Gem: Yeah exactly.

Noel: And they’d done their thing you see a lot of these kids in England now where it’s like, you can tell they’ve got the look before they’ve got the tunes, you know? And it’s like, “Well I wear that hat and I get that and we’ll hang out here and I get that haircut and…anybody got any tunes?” “Forget that! We’ll write them in a minute!” You know?

Gem: Well we get - don’t we – when we get demos and they’ve literally got full art-work, websites, the lot.

Noel: Mmm.

Gem: Well where do you go from there?

Noel: Yeah man when we used to give cassettes out back in the day, check that out! Now some kid’ll say, “Oh I’m in a band, now I’m called such-and such, yeah you should check us out.” And you’ll say, “Have you got any stuff?” And he’ll say, “Just go to my website, you can download it.” (Laughs) Coronation Street or summat like that, you know.

Gem: Yeah gone are the days of puttin’ your demo out and sayin’ ah f…”I didn’t put me number on it.”

Steve: Ah well…what can you do? We sound like bitter ole men here.

Gem: We are…

Steve: Moanin’ about them.

Gem: We are.

Steve: “In my day there was five of us in the shoebox…”

Noel: (Laughs).

Steve: Karsis! ("Karsi" meaning toilet - various spellings, From Italian ex- Latin "Casa" or house.) Tin baths! What are we doin’ Shovel, visit the Duke? We’re gonna visit the Duke, we’ll be right back, thanks for listenin’

All laugh.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

November 9th 2006 The Oasis Blokes Visit The Box (2nd Hour)

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox. Noel Gallagher. Gem…where is he? There he is. Terry in the back, there. They’re playing tonight, well, they’re doing an acoustic set after the show, they’re…is it a DVD? Is it coming out on DVD?

Noel: No, it’s a proper film.

Steve: Gonna show it, the movie?

Noel: Yeah, we’re going to show the movie and then we’re going to play for about, well an hour and a half is…

Steve: But when it comes out, is it coming out on DVD or is it coming out in cinema?

Noel: It’s coming out in…I think it’ll be DVD over here, it’s coming out in cinema in England. It’ll eventually be out on DVD.

Steve: You guys still really popular in London?

Noel: Yeah. Yeah.

Steve: Where would you play if you do a show there, where would you play?

Noel: Where did we play last time in London? Oh, in Milton Keynes. We done three nights at Milton Keynes. We do stadiums in England and then over here, it’s kind of, there’s been a bit of an upturn for us over the last, especially around of the time of the last record. We sold out the Hollywood Bowl last time and Madison Square Gardens and we didn’t even do that at the height of our popularity. But it’s kind of, there’s been a bit of an upturn really, aint there?

Steve: Why do you reckon that is?

Noel: Maybe a new generation of kids, I guess. That’s all. I dunno.

Steve: Yeah. It’s like Pistols. We’re definitely more popular now than when we was together.

Noel: Well you couldn’t have sold out Finsbury Park back in the day.

Steve: No.

Noel: Was that two nights or one night?

Steve: One night. We did…(unintelligible)

Noel: The Shepherd’s Bush Empire…that was a proper, proper proper gig.

Steve: I enjoyed them. I remember seeing you at your show here at the Universal and you was, kept staring at me.

Noel: Yeah, you come down to the front, didn’t you?

Steve: Yeah…

Noel: I was thinking, “That guy looks like Steve Jones, there.” (laughing) It didn’t dawn on me it’s like, I said, “It probably is”. I dedicated a song to you.

Steve: Yeah, I remember you saying. Yeah it was good. I enjoyed that.

Noel: Do ever bump into, do you ever bump into Morrissey out here?

Steve: Um, we played at…Pistols, we did a little tour across America about three years ago and we ended up, well we did a show at the Greek and he came to that.

Noel: Right.

Steve: And hung out afterwards and I spoke to him for about half an hour but that was it.

Noel: What’s he like?

Steve: He’s difficult, I’ve heard. He was alright with me, he was chatting and that but he’s…I mean, I hear all these horror stories that’s he’s very diff…you know, he’s a singer. Here we go again. You know, they’re very self-destructive, egomanics and you can’t figure ‘em out, they don’t make sense.

Noel: This is true.

Steve: And he comes under that category.

Noel: Yeah, it’s like our kid (Liam) only has two points of view. One of ‘em’s irrelevantly obvious and the other one’s obviously irrelevant. “It’s just like, what? Well that’s obvious, that is.” Do you know what I mean? But…apart from that, great bunch of guys.

Steve: Do you think you would…this might be a silly question, if it is, forgive me. But, if he weren’t your brother, would you still, do you think you would have still found him for a band as a singer?

Noel: Uh, (ponders for a moment) …yeah.

Steve: You know what I mean?

Noel: Yeah. No he’s great. Well, I tell you this, if he wasn’t my brother, I don’t think we’d still be in a band together.

Steve: Right.

Noel: Because if I’d dark days when it’s just been like, it would have been, “Do you know what, I can’t be arsed with this any more.” But then me mum’s always getting involved. She’s always you know, the mediator and you know, as sad as that sounds, it’s all to do with me mother.

Steve: You get along with your mum, right?

Noel: Yeah, she’s great.

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: Yeah, she’s barking (“barking” euphemism for being slightly loopy or mad), but she’s great. She’s, I’ll tell you, the last great story…was watching we sat round my house one night and she’s kind of reading the paper and that and there’s summat on the television and she kind of looks up and she says, “Is that Robbie Williams on the telly again?” And I was like, “It’s Lennox Lewis.” (they laugh)

Steve: They look similar don’t they?

Noel: Do you know what I mean? Lennox Lewis is six-foot five, black dude with dreadlocks and my mum’s there going, (Irish accent) “Is that (feckin’) Robbie Williams on the telly again?” and I’m like, (incredulous) “Robbie…? It’s Lennox Lewis!” (he swore here, methinks) Yeah, I’ll pay for that one, well how much does that one cost? (The swear box for Indie 103.1 is filling up.)

Steve: He actually, Robbie Williams said to say, “Hi” to you. I saw him the other day. He’s got a little five-a-side pitch up at his gaff.

Noel: Oh, has he?

Steve: Yeah and…

Noel: We all love ‘em. I’ve got, I had one at my house.

Steve: Didja?

Noel: Funny thing, I had built an eight-a-side football pitch. With dugouts, the nets, everything. The boarding ‘round there and on the day it was finished I got on there for “You know, I’m going to need another fifteen geezers for this”…you know, I didn’t know fifteen people you know I would ‘ave round at me house and for months and months it just sat there doing nothing. And it’s still there. It’s like a, it’s like the Acropolis in Greece, it’s all kind of overgrown and falling down. But I remember the guy who lived over the back from me, he was an old fellow, right? And I was on there one Saturday morning. It was hammering it down with rain, I was just kicking the ball around and he come kind of walking in the bushes with his walking stick and he said, “Ahhh, morning Gallagher!” and I was like, “Alright.” And he said, “Playing on our own again are we?” (all laugh) So I kind of stopped the ball and I was thinking, “This has got to stop, man.” And I was like, (resigned) “Yes…we are. What do you want.” “Ah, I thought I heard you!”

Steve: Do you play much?

Noel: No, I used to be, obviously as a kid I was really into it. But I’m no good, really. I’m good for about ten minutes and then I’d just be puking up (?), I think.

Steve: Yeah? But that’s just practice.

Noel: Yeah, (?) the same as anyone because we’re all football supporters in our heads, we could all still think we could still do a job somewhere.

Steve: Delusional, yeah.

Noel: But the reality is…

Steve: Yeah, exactly…

Noel: is the ball moves pretty fast around the pitch and you kind of are rarely anywhere near it.

Steve: We always think that we’re better than we are.

Noel: Yeah.

Steve: I do, anyway. I’m useless, really.

Noel: But it’s your team though, innit? You started it so you’re in on it.

Steve: Well, I didn’t start it, but you know, I love it. (Hollywood United) I love it. I dunno what, I really dunno what I would do without football.

Noel: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Steve: I’d go nuts without watching it…you know, the playing it, that’s going to come to an end at some point but I love watching it. I love getting up and watching.

Noel: But in England, I don’t think that’s what a lot of, I don’t think a lot people understand what big business is doing to football because it is, to some people, to some men, it is their entire life. And people over here when you meet them find that very difficult to understand because of the way that, say Newcastle and places like that are all based in the community whereas like, American sports are kind of franchises, aren’t they?

Steve: Yeah.

Noel: But the way that the ticket prices are going up and it’s all corporate now, it’s really…if you’re like, if you’re a fella and you’ve got two sons who are let’s say, seven and eight, or eight and nine, split the difference, whatever, you know…and you’re trying to take them to the game and you’ve got to get there, park up, get something to eat, programs…two hundred quid, you know what I mean? That’s even before you’ve sat in your seat, you know. And back in the day…when I used to go to the football, all the dads used to pass the kids over the turnstile and the guys on the turnstile wouldn’t think anything of it. But they’re all automated turnstiles now. You just put in a card and it opens.

Steve: We’ve turned back into bitter old men.

Noel; We have! Did you ever see that program, “Grumpy Old Men” on the telly?

Steve: Yeah. But it’s…you know, it’s like, down at Chelsea. It’s all these…it’s a lot of fairweathers there, if you ask me.

Noel: Yeah, same at Man United.

Steve: Hoorays down there, making out that they’re jack-the-lads, you know? The only real fans go to the away games. You know what I mean?

Noel: Yeah I know, totally. Well a lot of people got into football after Euro ’96 when it was on in England. You know, it was massive and then all of a sudden the gates shot up.

Steve: Pearcy, was there. (Stuart Pearce) That was Pearcy’s time, wunnit?

Noel: Yeah…all of a sudden, the attendances shot up and all that but…see, football now is a business where it used to actually mean something. It was, the meaning of it was intense, you know? There was a team coming to your town and all the players who played lets say, for Arsenal, they’re all Arsenal supporters and they’re playing all your lads who all come from ‘round there and it was more tribal. Now it’s like this, you know with the influx of the foreign players and all that, it’s a bit like who’s here now? Ah, sometimes we watch the City on the telly, they come on the pitch and I’m like, “Who is he? Where’s he from?” I’ve no idea. And I follow City kind of regular. I was up watching them away to Reading (Reading in Berkshire, England) the other night and I was, I’ve been watching City for years and I was in-between two guys and I was going, “Who are all these people?” and they were going, “I dunno, he’s just bought them all”.

Steve: Well, the lower divisions are still like that, you know. Did you like Man United getting turned over the other night?

Noel: I haven’t seen the goal, but I’ve been sending a few messages back to England which have not been replied to yet so yeah.

Steve: Was you thrilled about that?

Noel: All the time.

Steve: Do you hate Man United?

Noel: Can’t stand ‘em.

Steve: What is it, what is it that you hate about them? I mean, I know it’s a common thing, the Man City fans and the Man United fans…

Noel: It’s different for us. A lot of people hate Man United because it’s Man United, you know. But it’s all this “Theatre Of Dreams” nonsense and all this you know, “They’re the biggest club in the world and everybody loves Man United but secretly everybody hates them” It’s like, no…everybody hates you, right. Nobody loves you. you know or, “Everybody hates Man United because we play the best football”. No, they hate you cos all your supporters are idiots, that’s why, right. There’s just something intrinsically wrong about that club. The fact that they call themselves, “Manchester” and it’s not even in Manchester annoys City fans greatly. But I don’t know…let’s not talk about them. It’s put me in a bad mood.

Steve: I know what you mean, though. There’s rivalry. But that’s the thing you’re talking about. The tribal thing.

Noel: The tribal thing. It was the same when we was growing up in school and there was punks and teds and there was people into ska music and everybody was in a kind…you was either…you was something. You weren’t just a like, this fair-weather. “Yeah, I really like The Specials but I also like…” Back in the day you was either one or the other and that was it. But now there’s a kind of…there’s just music fans…I’m not saying it’s a “good” thing or a “bad” thing, but it seems to be everybody kind of looks and dresses the same these days, don’t they? (In fact the tribal thing has polarised so much in the UK. that youth either considers itself “Goth” or Ned.” Well at least in Scotland anyway…)

Gem: You had to nail yer colours to the mast, didn’t ye?

Noel: Yeah.

Gem: Totally man.

Steve: We are grumpy old men…

Gem: We are…

Noel: Yeah, I certainly am.

Steve: “Back in my day…”

Noel: My missus be listening to this now thinking, “I can’t believe he’s three thousand miles away on the other side of the world and I’m still listening to him slagging off Man United.”

Steve: Moaning…

Noel: Yeah, moaning…

(all laugh)

Steve: Let’s play some music, yes Mr. Shovel? Let’s play some Jimi Hendrix. This is a song called, “Castles Made Of Sand”. Take it away, darling.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Transcribed by Floratina with minimal additions by Chriswasanon. More to come!!!