If I Managed England

Steve: I could manage England…easy. I could manage Chelsea, too, actually. You just stand there, wave your arms about. What’s so difficult about that?

(sings)

I could manage England football team
Yes I could and I would if I only had an opportunity
I would manage England football team oh yeah

Mclaren, he’s two-bob he ain’t got a clue
You’d be better off with Malcolm Mclaren
Better than the Mclaren that is there right now
He ain’t worth it.

I wouldn’t only manage I’d probably get in there myself
Put my boots on and have a laugh
I, if I managed England football club
I’d make sure that I would take
all the corners and penalties and free kicks
Yes I would if I managed England football club

I would design a new kit it would be legit
and it would fit Double X
Double XL and we would excel
to a higher level on the pitch
with eleven players and a free reserve
and it would be fun and we could go and get some
crumpet after the game

Oh, I can’t wait to manage England football club
It would be all right
Yes I would do a very good job
Better than the rest
I wouldn’t be scared to make some rash decisions
I wouldn’t give a toss I would kiss some ass
To the old fellas up in the Chairmans of the Boards
The CEOs, the money men
The Sponsorship and all that
You know what I’m talking about
If I managed England I’d have a laugh up in the bath
With all the players in the showers
and having a look, who has the biggest knob
In the England squad it would be such fun
to have a look at their willies
World Cup Willies you know what I’m talking ‘bout

If I managed England...