Friday, July 07, 2006

From July 5 WWSD?

Welcome back to a relatively spoiler-free chriswasanon!

Today is a "welcome back to chriswasanon," day. That means when you see those words that there is something of a transcriptural nature for you to read and mull over from the TrAnScRiBer. Something from that famous show, Jonesy's Jukebox on Indie 103.1 and if you do not know then check the links! ---------->

So Steve and Mark have once again put us in a moral dilemma. The ethical question is this:

You find a million on the pavement (sidewalk)....What would you do? Personally I would spend it all on...xxxxxxxxxxxxxx ah but that's MY secret. Then again of course if the question WAS what would Jesus do? He would..."render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's."

Mr. Jesus Christ. He would pay his taxes to the IRS or the Inland Revenue, or the Roman equivalent in Judea, wouldn't he? The Bible tells us so.

Yea so that is enough and hear endeth the lesson but before I go, may the Lord have mercy on each and every one of you for deigning to muse fondly that you would do otherwise.

I see your minds - as does the Lord - full of SUVs; family holidays; inflatable baked beans cans; plasma screens; strange shiny metallic objects with lots of lights and switches; six pack chests; racks; season tickets for football teams; cheap holidays in other peoples misery; a signed copy of Ziggy Stardust; a huge noshup up West, out West, in your vest; a third of a catamaran; an ipod, an eye operation; a first edition and that pub in Sidmouth that you always eventually planned to retire into. I know your wish lists!

Forget it!


"Cos I'm the taxman, yeah the taxman and you are working for NO ONE but meeeeeeee."

Beatles lyrics, eh?


Tina IS at the controls!

Steve: I was thinking the other day when I was watching TV, and they had them commercials for, you
know the one of the poor kids in different countries and they’ve got that guy who looks like Father Christmas and always got a kid sat on his lap? He’s like, “Give money, give money…”

Mr. Shovel: Trying to make you feel guilty?

Steve: Yeah, completely. And it’s so funny, innit? All them guys, what…is it like a requirement to look like Father Christmas to get that gig…to look like God or something, you know? Cos you imagine, when you’re a kid you imagine God would look like that. He’s all fluffy, he looks like Father Christmas…in the sky. It must be a look, like stereotype, innit?

Anyway, I was thinking as I was watching that: what would you do, if you found a million dollars in a brown paper bag from Ralph’s with a million dollars in it, on the street, no one around, it was just left on the street and there’s a note inside saying, “Please send this to…” that organization. What are they called, “The Children’s Organization For Whatever”…what would you do? Would you forward that to that organization? Or would you walk down the street to your house and spend ze money? What would you do? What would you do, Mr. Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: I’d put it in the bank and think about it for a long time.

Steve: Yeah?

Mr. Shovel: Then I’d take that interest and I’d keep it, and I’d think about it some more.

Steve: I don’t think anyone in their right mind would send it to that organization, would you? A million dollars sitting there. It’s not like you stole it, you found it, for one thing. I don’t think anyone would give that in. You’ve got to be stupid to give that in.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Mr. Shovel: So let’s say you show up to the bank with a bag full of a million dollars, cash. Don’t you think that’s gonna raise some red flags?

Steve: Exactly. So you might as well spend it. You know what I mean, on yourself? That’s a funny one. Just think what you could get for a million bucks.

Mr. Shovel: (smartassy) You could get a one-bedroom house in Hollywood!

Steve: Actually, a million bucks is like, two million bucks, if you’re not paying the tax on it, right?

Mr. Shovel: I guess so, yeah.

Steve: What do you do when you have a million bucks, when you find a million bucks? You don’t pay tax on it, cos no one knows you’ve got it, right? It’s yours. It’s like a million bucks. Even when you spend it…well you pay tax then, on something when you buy but…a million bucks. Would you give it to these poor little starving kids, in…poorer countries?

Mr. Shovel: Well, what would you do?

Steve: Well, if I was the president, I would find a way (belch) to even out the way money goes, so poor people get more money. Cos rich people, all they care about is getting richer. That seems like their goal. It seems like that’s what makes them happy.

Mr. Shovel: So, you’d make rich people leave bags of money around for people to find?

Steve: No, no. It just seems…it’s ridiculous. It’s like, poor people have done nothing wrong. They just don’t know how to make money. Most people don’t know how to make money, you know. There’s only a few who are business-minded, who know how to make big money. I think there’s a lot of good poor people who just ain’t…maybe they are happy. Seems weird though, the way it always…goes that way, you know. Poor people, the poor poor. Maybe I’ll give half the million dollars away to poor people. I’ll just hand it out to them. If I like the way they look, walking down the street, you know, you see some Spanish lady with four kids and they seem like a good person, I’d sling her like, a thousand. I’d say, “Here love, knock yourself out”. That’s what I would do. Keep half of it and give maybe half of it away to people. That way I wouldn’t feel so guilty you know what I mean, by taking it. I’m still giving to (the) poor. But it’s true, a lot of that money never gets to them, unfortunately.

Mr. Shovel: Well, they spend a lot of money on TV commercials.

Steve: Yeah, and all the pictures they have to send you as well, of the kids. That must cost a lot of money. You know you get a picture, right…so there you go.

Thursday, July 06, 2006


Not a welcome back to Chriswasanon post. Some informative myspace Steve news.

I love statistics! So last night a typical World Cup night. Get the beers in! 8 cans of Stella Artois (£7.00) Do the conversion math! and a football match on the telly. Portugal V France. Slurp! I have been reading with some interest a few blogs on the World Cup. Background material. I recommends the Guardian blog meself. Though the bbc one is just as entertaining if a tad censorious.

It is intriguing on these blogs to see the level to which people will go when it comes to supporting their National team and the way in which they will sometimes accuse every one else of being Dirty Filthy Rotten Cheating Scoundrels. I did think that I saw lots of diving last night but I also think I saw some entertaining footie. Some people think that that game was crap. Who cares, I liked it! Call me Larry the Lightweight football supporter. Talk to my brother - he has an Arsenal season ticket.

I aren't so unforgiving as to have wished Porto a thorough Gallic drubbing just because they knocked Inglaterre out in the quarters. Mebbe I just lack the killer instinct? But there it was, two drunken semi-final nights with my head full of Belgian beer. By the time I got back to the byre, I was well lit up and the first thing to do was to down a pint of cold water and so to a bed that was spinning a little.

On Sunday we come at last to the final of World Cup 2006. I don't know if my liver can stand another match. But I fancy a few bottles of Grolsch for Sunday.

Double Plus with extra onions and tomatoes - there is the thrill of Doctor Who to come battling not one but TWO arch adversaries, the delete obsessed cybermen. Think Windows XP :-) and the Daleks. So it's battles of the tyrants all round. Cheers!

The myspace Steve news. You've seen the Great Rock n Roll Swindle surely? Well there's Steve and Cookie the drummer boy rushing into the Brazillian sea. I think the footage was taken near Biggsy's gaff and Ronald himself brings up the rear...ahem but he is just out of shot so not featured in this profile pic. It's ARSE news and like for sure!

That was the view from the chriswasanon. Tina will probly be back soon! Do not be perturbed that this post is of an essentially alcohol abusing nature - tomorrow I will take the pledge - well mebbe Monday...


Monday, July 03, 2006

Pics from the outside broadcast

Final edit!!!

Not a welcomeback to chriswasanon post. Tina's posts have been consistently brilliant in my opinion during these last few weeks. Plenty to read about here. Especially if you
are into Stephen Jones of the Sex Pistols or Mark Shovel (stress on the second syllable) or Indie 103.1 FM.

Check my links ------------>

Let us not even broach Saturday in Gelsenkirchen, ok? I feel gutted. Like a newly landed herring on the sea front at Yarmouth. Gutted, salted and pickled. 3 cans of cheap "blitzen" lager were not enough. Fact is my deres I was inconsolable. When I learnt that it was to be yet another penalty shoot out - my heart went in one direction and my cigarette consumption in t'other.

Enough about the World tiddlywinks cup. More glo
omy Brit Sport news. Andy Murray crashed out of Wimbledon today. That's enough sport(s).

Tina has some great pictures for you here. I believe - although do not quote me - that they are entirely original digital piccies of Saturday's OB. Which is an outside broadca
st to us in the know - he said knowingly in an unsure sort of way.

The myspace Steve profile news. Is it it a bird, no? Is it a plane? Is it a rolled up copy of the Financial Times? No! Ah so, is it peradventure the Sex Pistols guitarist in a lift (er elevator) wearing a Superman costume? Hmmm. perhaps this was taken in a photobooth? You can see the curtain behind him...probly...At least I think that is him. Perhaps I need another can of blitzen.

I was going to say at this point "Tina is at Controls." That is n
ot strictly true however as today is not a transcription day - not to my knowledge.

Shani and baby are doing fine. See Uncle Step or Grandad Step post. It has been nothing but talk of babies and ickle pretty girlies since the birth - I'm planning on moving out and into the trailer in the back garden. I fear that I am about to drown in a deluge of tiny weeny frocks. Is that possible? No, no its all jolly lovely and sweet really.

That's it.

See you Wednesday maybe, or Thursday or Friday or the middle of next week, next month next year, no telling is there?


Mr. Shovel, artist Shepherd Fairy and Steve on Jonesy's Jukebox Live Saturday, July 1. The special broadcast was beamed from the John Anson Ford Theatre prior to a screening of "The Filth And The Fury" as a part of the Los Angeles Film Festival.

The Sire signs autographs

At long last - a picture of MR. SHOVEL!