Friday, December 22, 2006

The Christmas Post! More Oasis 2nd hour.

Welcome back to Chriswasanon. Leave a nice polite message. It's just about Christmas Post time innit. "Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day....blah blah you treated me like some goof and deleted me from myspace." That would probably be the 21st Century equivalent like.

Hey Steve wanted pants and socks last year. It's too late for me to get my giftis to him alas, so like Steve you all have to just make do with just a Christmas card. Fill in the complaint form... Eeeh I got fair caught up with the spirit of Christmas this year,so I did going so far to as change my myspace name to "Christmas was Anon" and also House bling was anon too, cos I think that there really is an awful lot of that about, I reckon!

What festive frolics I've been up to, getting kail eyed on rum and ribenas, reciting poetry the like of which you do not want to know. Google "It was Christmas day in the workhouse." In other news Chriswasanon has now officially shifted to Blogger2 which is the new Googlengine for such blogs as make the grade...I think. There hasn't been much of ecleticism here recently.

The Christmas post is a time to change that. I was over at a friend's the other day - admiring her Christmas tree - as ye do. When I asked her where she had got this Sitka spruce, she said that she nicked it. Now she wasn't some yobbish Ned o but she was a terribly naice lady. What's more she nicks her tree from the Forestry Commission each year...Don't blame her. Here at the Byre I shall be bidding fond fare thee wells to all as I head into the fog of the UK to once more familiarise myself with a land of no computers.

Special Christmas greets to those who have kept me sane this year. This a little like the old CwA Hall of fame where noteworthy jukebox bloggers got a mench. So lets do it one more time. The first one more time since the Jones blog died the death in factimundo. In no particular order.

Floratina Without which.
Alison Bling it on, bling it on, bling it on baby.
Rotter Ahahahahahah
Shloemoe Cheers and a seasonal tilt of the water of life.
Maddie For keeping the home fires burning
Robert KP. He's in shape!
Piespace A wise fool z fool.
JR. Knackered what was it JR?
NYC San Fran Gail You go to it babes and deck them.
Aunt Chrissie. Last seen surrounded by tea bags
Quean. She knows a Dr. called Danger.
Chispa Filthy Lucre. Cancelled Madrid gig ticket.
Glenn O We will get Peace on Earth sometime Glenn. Until then...
Pauly Poo! Damned Damned Damned
Bangkok Steve Here's hoping that all is well.
IrishScots She comes and she goes, Celtic Warrior being.
Jewelly All that glisters is not but this person is a true sparkler.
Jade. This woman is that.
Ronen. Happy festival.
Muzz You only get an Anarchy once - get the best from dangerouslyclose

all top geezers and geezerinas

Last the biggest of Ups to Mr. Stephen Jones and Mark Shovel.

All of you is good folks but may I wish you all our readers hall of fame or not, a cracking Christmas and a happy New Year. I will see you all on various networks when we return. Without any further ado here's a transcription for youse. It picks up the continuing Oasis blokes saga where we last left it somewhere down the page. Yes we know it got podcast, that still doesn't mean it's not worthy of the treatment. ..that's it. Merry Yule!!!!

(After a week solo in the spotlight, I've moved this latest part of the transcript down to the Oasis post so that all the bits are together - TJ) click ->LINK

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

December 19, 2006 Affirmations

After Mr. Shovel introduced a recording of soothingly femme-voiced affirmations, Steve was particularly taken by the "abundance" segment.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

December 18, 2006 Deer, Cashews and an Impostor

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Monday on Indie, four minutes after twelve bells. A bit nippy but gorgeous out. Clear as a bell. Last night was a bit chilly but it was, it was nice. Nice, nice, nice. Did I mention I have deer coming in my back yard?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, I think so.

Steve: Yeah…they’re relentless now. They’ve gotten comfortable. They’re just eating everything in sight.

Mr. Shovel: How do they get in there?

Steve: They get in around the back. There’s like a…they go up this hill and come back down and they’ve obviously, they’re limited (in) what they can eat. They only like ivy and stuff. I don’t think they eat a lot of other stuff.

Mr. Shovel: Real picky. Picky eaters.

Steve: Well, yeah. I think they just, I dunno. But I don’t mind them. Let ‘em eat as much as they want, even though it looks like, it looks terrible. It’s not green anymore where they eat. It’s just like…shrubs. But it’ll grow back and it is the season to be giving, you know what I mean? Deer are not excluded.

Mr. Shovel: Well especially deer.

Steve: Yeah, they’re like…reindeer.

Mr. Shovel: Well there you go.

Steve: That’s what I’m talking about. I actually like it, though…having them. I’m glad that I can be of service to the deer.

Mr. Shovel: You know there’s people who would be like, really happy to shoot them.

Steve: Oh, I know.

Mr. Shovel: Pretty ridiculous.

Steve: Yeah it is cos they’re such little creatures of beauty, you know? Non-threatening animals. I don’t understand that whole Ted Nugent concept. Well, his concept is one thing, but just killing them for the sake of it, just for a laugh…

Mr. Shovel: Well they rationalize it by saying, “Well, they’re going to starve to death anyway.” That’s because they’ve run out of land to get food from.

Steve: Right…just ignorant people. Don’t need to do it anymore. Before there were supermarkets I understood, you had to go and kill things to eat, to live. What else is happening? There was something I was going to talk about. Deer…I had a weird dream last night. Oh, I had some, I ate a load of cashew nuts last night. I had a little relapse. I had that “DaVinci Code” movie. Got in bed and I remembered I had a huge bag of cashew nuts so I went and filled up a cup full of them, got back in bed and just started grazing and I woke up this morning not feeling good, felt horrible.

Mr. Shovel: You had some weird dream? Cos of the nuts?

Steve: I dunno. I did have a weird dream. I was at my mum’s place in England and I was kind of staying in there and this person was acting, it was like a bloke, dressed up as a woman, he was acting as my mum…like, a transvestite and fooled me for a long time. Then I suddenly realized, I’m like, “Hey, you’re not my mum, you’re a bloke! What’re you doing here?” Very strange.

Mr. Shovel: Well, of course the psychiatrist would have a field day with this, Steve.

Steve: But that’s what I dreamt. I mean dreams, you must have weird, I mean…dreams just can be endless of madness, the things you come up with in your dreams it’s crazy. I told you that one time that I was having a threesome with Jimmy Carter, right?

Mr. Shovel: Right.

Steve: I mean, where did that come from?

Mr. Shovel: Did you eat peanuts that night?

Steve: Jimmy Carter and his wife…on a shag carpet. A lime green shag carpet. I mean, where does it, where does it come from? I’ve no idea. And then I woke up and my mate Fritz went ‘round to my mum’s and took some flowers and a Christmas present.

(a recording of Mrs. Jones taken from Steve’s mobile phone plays in the background: “Hello…this is Mummy…”

Steve: See, that’s the real one. That’s not the transvestite drag-queen one.

Mr. Shovel: I’m going to let you interpret that yourself.

Steve: I’ve no idea.
A candy-colored clown they call The Sandman
Tiptoes through my room every night
Just to sprinkle stardust
To sleep, everything is all right

My mom’s a transvestite
And she does her hair
into the magic parlor I often stare
it’s not my mum
it’s some bloke dressed up as my mum
where did he come from
this bloke dressed up as my mum

(Mr. Shovel is playing the recording of Steve’s mother here and there in the background)
Mrs. Jones: Hello? This is mummy…

Oh mum what have you done
Oh mum what have you done
Oh ma what have, what have you done to your son
Son, son son!

Mrs. Jones: I want to see how my little baby’s getting on…

Steve: (stops singing) I was hitting the high notes then, Shovel. You was messing about, putting my mum in there. Don’t you listen to what I’m doing?

Mr. Shovel: It’s a…montage.

Steve: That was good though, wunnit? There was one other thing that was going on. (thinking out loud) Mum was a bloke…peanuts…no, cashew nuts…the deer…it was a good game of football – oh what a great game, Chelsea and Everton. Beat Everton 3-2 and the best news of all, Manchester United lost again to West Ham. Let’s play some music. I’m going to play a song that these blokes did in England. It a montage to The Box. It is now ten after twelve bells.

Don’t forget to get out and do your Christmas shopping, especially buy presents for me. I’m not buying one present, by the way. I just thought I’d throw that out there. It’s not that I’m a Scrooge, I just can’t be bothered. Take it away, Mr. Shovel…

Monday, December 18, 2006

Oasis blokes updated!!!! - set your mouse to "scroll" Mr. Sulu.

Welcome back to chriswasanon - so what's Santa gonna bring you then, socks, ties, seditionaries hankies, that would be nice. Lots of good things goin' on at CWA including this blogamp thing and what with Tina having a Helio thingy. I'm foxed...

Third part of the Oasis blokes is on the blog and with any luck we will have it finished tomorrow. The BEER commercial that launched Chas and Dave to stardom was for Courage ale. See the interview. The new bit transcripturizaliseminalli is in green - running out of colours...should be time for one more post before Chrissie. Cheers for now like.

Here is a linkie. LINK


Sunday, December 17, 2006

He hasn't been saying a whole lot lately so I haven't had much to post. Then there are little bits that don't really transcribe well, but are fun to listen to so I am posting the bits here and there with a BlogAmp player that I'm still trying to figure out. Hand in there with me, I'll get there...