Beautiful save there from the half man half fish wonder boy!

Welcome to a Wiki and link strewn edition of chriswasanon. No transcription in this article but I think Tina may be doing a work in progress for you.

Who's that geezer up there then? It's Ron Manager the best football television pundit ever. Actually it's Paul Whitehouse in one of his many guises from BBC television's surreal catch phrase laden, sketch show the "Fast Show."

The Steve news. A sucession of Cross of St George profile pic images for his myspace and an outside broadcast due soon with a screening of the Filth and the Fury on July 1st.

I hardly dare write anything Tina does such a good job of it - I think that we should rename or move the file c:\excellent blog bar none\chriswasanon.blogspot.com to c:\excellent blog bar none\tinais.blogspot.com. I am superfluity personified anon.

Nah not really. So did you see the USA. beat off the Italians yesterday? 16th June 2006.

"Football is a game of two halves."

Oh he's fitba crazy.

The Fast show took the idea of the tv. catchphrase and turned it on its head. Television football pundits, the experts that the telly co's trot out were long overdue a serious wigging. Admittedly these pundits are usually ex footballers or managers. They are the ones who do the talking before the match and during the half time blether. They do know what they are talking about.

So here's the setup. There are three guys in the studio. The football commentator, er sportscaster for our Stateside readers and the 2 experts, in this case the sensible Tommy and the "out there" not sensible - Ron Manager.

So here for your amusement or confusement is Ron.

"The Fast Show" (1994)

Football Commentator: Well, Ron Manager, once again the pace and the tempo of that first half totally dictated by the boy wonder, Ryan Giggs.

Ron Manager: Cor, Ryan Giggs, you know? Giggsy, isn't it? Mmm? Giggsy-wiggsy? Mmm?
Oh! Ryan-y Giggsy-wiggsy. Isn't it? You know, marvellous.

Tommy: Is he the new George Best?

Ron Manager: Is George Best the old Ryan Giggs? But Giggsy-wiggsy. Precocious talent, isn't he? Mmm? Ooh, got it all, you know? Speed, acceleration, sweet left foot, all the tricks - the dummy, the drop of the shoulder, the shimmy, nutmeg, jiggery-pokery, hocus pocus, abracadabra, I wanna reach out and grab ya. Steve Miller Band? Spin Doctors? Ooh, very similar.

Football Commentator: Thank you, Ron. Now, Tommy, it's interesting to see the diamond formation being used again.

Ron Manager: Diamond formation? Does anyone really know what that is? I mean, at least you knew where you were with Alf Ramsey's wingless wonders. You know? 4-4-2, 4-2-4, 4-3-3...0898 654000, freephone double glazing?

Football Commentator: You've lost me there, Ron. Not sure about that particular formation. But, Tommy, do we need structure? Look at the Brazilians.

Ron Manager: Oh, those Brazilians, you know? Circa 1970? Broke the mould. Theory out the window. Free expression of football. Uncategorisable. Is that a word? It is now! You know? Far cry from small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts. Rush goalie. Two at the back, three in the middle, four up front, one's gone home for his tea. Beans on toast? Possibly, don't quote me on that. Marvellous.

Well I think that last paragraph does to some extent sum up the youthful Brit footie experience, there really were jumpers for goalposts. Oh but Ron Manager spouting his surreal yet spot on nonsense took football punditry to a new level . I have little concept of how the US networks present football, do they have half time experts?

The other thing that Brit culture was strewn with were football comics and magazines like. Rover, Victor, Hotspur, Valiant, Tiger, Scorcher. Every boys comic had it's own football character adventure strip. Roy of The Rovers was an absolute classic. He played for fictional side Melchester Rovers.

The whole comic book genre was satirised by the Newcastle Viz comic finest who targeted in particular those footballing characters with their strip, "Billy the Fish." Wiki here.

That has been the view from the vanished terraces. Enjoy the games. In next time's groovy ish. I will get out my rosette, pennant, rattle and banner and explain the off-side rule. Probly...not.

CwA

A Flagon of Man - Jesse Hughes of EODM Visits The Box - June 15

Tina here. Happy Friday. Today Steve will have Alan McGee as his guest. It was suggested that a transcription of the interview might be needed because Mr. McGee has a rather strong Scottish accent. I'm looking forward to that.

Alright then, here's the crow.

Jesse Hughes

Jesse Hughes Visits The Box

Steve: You guys are playing tonight at the Henry Fonda Theater.

Jesse: Yessir.

Steve: The Eagles of Death Metal.

Jesse: Yessir.

Steve: Did you come up with that name?

Jesse: Um, yeah…my best friend, Joshua Homme and I came up with that in the back seat of a Volkswagen bus. While I was eating graham crackers, everyone was smoking weed and our friend was trying to get us to listen to death metal and he’d be like, “Dude, listen to this, this is tough”, and we’re like, “Dude, that’s wussy stuff. Put on some real death metal.” And he put on a death metal band called Vader and Josh said, “That’s not death metal. That’s like, The Eagles of death metal” and I sprayed graham crackers out of my mouth and my friend Kevin - whose VW bus it was – is like, “Who’s eating pie in my car?!” . And uh, the next day, we wrote the first song.

(We've gotta skip forward in the interview for now)

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox with Jesse Hughes from the Eagles of Death Metal in the studio.

Jesse: Thank you for having me, Jonesy.

Steve: So happy you’re here.

Jesse: I’m very happy I’m here. We’re having a good time. Seems like we’re having a lotta good time when the commercials are playing, too.

Steve: Yeah, a lot of…that’s, I always say, that’s the…more interesting stuff when we’re not on the air.

Jesse: Because you feel a little freer.

Steve: Yeah, you can swear, you can tell some morbid stories.

Jesse: Some dark tales from the road.

Steve: Yeah. Talking about the road, what kind of…you pullin’ a lot of birds at the gig? A lot of girls come to your shows?

Jesse: Well, I think, first of all, I think…rock and roll forgot about ladies for a little bit so our job that we feel that we have, is to remind rock and roll that rock and roll’s about ladies havin’ a good time, and letting them know that I think they’re sweet babies, honey bears, sugar bears, sweet baby bears, I love ‘em all. I just, if I could just take ‘em all up in my arms and squeeze on ‘em, it would probably be the best thing ever. But we’re also attracting ladyboys, too. Some of the ladyboys are coming down and having a good time cos it, you know, it’s all really, we’re all really here just to make Little Richard proud. And I think nothing makes Little Richard prouder than ladyboys and sweethearts.

Steve: Amen. Praise the Lord.

Jesse: That’s right. (laughs) PTL, baby.

Steve: Now what, these ladymen, what…are these blokes? What are they?

Jesse: They’re not, they’re not like, they wouldn’t star in a movie that was set in a garage called “Tranny Lube”, or anything, but…they’re just those little sweet boys with the plucked eyebrows who know all the words, that are just two shades shy from Richard Gere in a hospital, uh, pulling something out from where the sun don’t shine, you know what I mean?

Steve: Do you think that is…I think that’s a myth, that whole thing.

Jesse: I think it could be, but I hope it’s true.

Steve: Yeah?

Jesse: Cos that would be hot.

Steve: I mean, do you remember the one about Rod Stewart?

Jesse: Yeah yeah yeah. But that wasn’t true cos it was supposedly a gallon and I come from a good source that it was only like, a quarter of a gallon. I’m pretty sure that’s all it was.

Steve: I think that’s a complete myth…and that is a lot of blokes.

Jesse: Well see, and that, that myth got recreated. When I was in high school, it was the New Kids On The Block were really hip and that myth got reapplied to Jordan Knight.

Steve: Who’s that?

Jesse: He was the lead singer, one of the pretty, one of the pretty boys from the New Kids On The Block and it was suddenly him that had gone to the hospital to have to get his stomach pumped with a gallon of protein in it.

Steve: I’m glad. I’m glad I didn’t get that bloody, that…that thing. Ain’t you? Maybe we could create one for you.

Jesse: Let’s create a rumor for me. What would it be? Not a gallon of protein…

Steve: A flagon. A flagon of Man.

Jesse: A flagon of Men. (laughs) For a fortnight…

Steve: “Jesse Hughes had a flagon of Man in him!”

Jesse: For a fortnight.

Steve: What a horrible thing though, to have…you know, every time you walk into a restaurant: “Oh, there’s the bloke, he’s got a gallon of…Man…!”

Jesse: (laughing) “He had a gallon of Man.”

Steve: That, that is a horrible thing…

Jesse: I wonder if you can go to Whole Foods and get a gallon of Man?

Steve: Oh, I’m sure…

Jesse: I mean, it would have to be “natural” Man.

Steve: “From your finest men”.

Jesse: From the finest men, West Hollywood has to offer, muwahhhahha…

Steve: (laughs) Oh, just the image of it. A load of blokes all around a bucket.

Jesse: (bursts out laughing) And then you could have like a pirate bar called, “The Bucket Of Blood”. Or “The Bucket of Man”.

Steve: Yes.

Jesse: But as David Bowie said, “The Church of Man Love is such a holy place to be”.

Steve: Exactly. What’s the other line, what’s the next line? “Make me baby, let me know you really care”

Jesse: “Make me ‘jump’ into the air”? I don’t think that’s right. What’s the word I’m looking for? Make me jump into your hair. I think that’s what it was.

Steve: Put your bucket in their hair? In the air?

Jesse: Pour your bucket into my hair, I think is what it was. (both laugh)

Steve: Oh, excellente.

Jesse: Oh, Good old American boococky, there’s nothing like it in the world.

Steve: OHH! We’ve got to play a song, it’s getting out of control. Turn the temperature down. Let’s play a song. What do we have? We have…

Jesse: We have The Donnas…such a true rock and roll band if ever there was one, man.

Steve: I heard the singer likes buckets. If that true?

Jesse: I’m gonna go on record defending that girl. I don’t think she likes buckets at all.

Steve: Donna , Donna the Prima Donna…

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Jesse: You are one hunk of a good lookin’ man.

Steve: I’m just a hunka hunka burnin’ love. I want to…I don’t like stretch marks. Do you? What turns you off with a bird when she’s got her kit off. Scars? Saggy asses? What’s a turn-off for you?

Jesse: Uh, male genitals. Normally when the girl takes her clothes off and it isn’t really what I thought it was. That kind of bums me out. Unless of course I’m watching “The Crying Game”, and then it’s all good.

Steve: Or it’s dark.

Jesse: Yeah, as long as it’s dark, everyone looks like Maureen Ohara.

Steve: Yes, I’m particularly fond of now seeing men’s willy wonkas when they take their skirts off.

Jesse: What, did you refer to it as a “knob” earlier? (laughing)

Steve: Yes, knobs. Knobs, buckets and manchilds.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: You’re listening to Indie 1031 with Jesse Hughes from Eagles Of Death Metal .

Jesse: Hello.

Steve: We’re going to be wrapping it up right now, Jesse.

Jesse: That’s the saddest thing I’ve heard. I been having a great time. This is fun.

Steve: Yeah, it was good.

Jesse: I think you should record, I think you should have like a, a recorder so that you could record what happens when the commercials come on and the release that as the x-rated version.

Steve: Yeah. That, that would definitely…

Jesse: You could put it on pay per view or something.

Steve: Definitely be more entertating. Not that when we’re on the air ain’t entertaining.

Jesse: I don’t think anything could possibly be more entertaining than when you are on the air.

Steve: Really?

Jesse: I mean that.

Steve: You’re very kind.

Jesse: No, it’s easy to tell a hot man he’s hot and it’s easy to tell an entertainer he’s an entertainer.

Steve: And I’m hot you said, as well.

Jesse: Yessir. That’s why I’ve adopted you as my husband.

Steve: Hunka hunka burnin’…love bucket.

Jesse: (laughing) Bucket of love. The essence of life itself.

Steve: The source.

Jesse: The sauce of life. Now that’s a band. Everyone bring their buckets. The Sauce of Life are playing tonight.

Steve: Yes. Talk about, what’d you call them? Boymen? Menboys?

Jesse: Ladyboys.

Steve: Ladyboys…we’re going to end with Placebo right now and this song is called “Nancy Boy”.

Jesse: It’s so perfect.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

end of interview

Steve, resplendent in Union Jack, gestures in front of that TV we've heard about. This just brings it all to life, doesn't it? Big hands...

England plays today. Rooney is "match fit".

In soccer they don't have a "final score", they have a "result". They don't have "fans", they have "supporters". They don't wear a "uniform", they have a "kit". They have "set pieces". I can't think of an equivalent for that. I thought I heard one the the commentators say that England's coach said that his team is "all about set- pieces". That's some tasteful trash-talk there! Eriksson bringin' the smack. As an American, I don't know if I am allowed to use these words. I don't think we get to say, "bloody", for example. "You lot" is extremely handy, but I have to stop myself from saying it. After listening to The Box so much, I have permitted some of Steve's special "grammar" to seep in...


Apparently many in Scotland are planning on serving up some tropical drinks at gametime today. <--click


Okay, I have a picture of a crow playing soccer in my MySpace and no one has been in to look at it this morning. No one! What, you aren't fascinated by a damn bird in a soccer jersey! He's even got a little ball, but it's not a Teamgeist ball. Maybe that's the problem.

Since the game is to be over before twelve bells, Sire won't be taking a sickie today. We will be Boxful.

During Wednesday's show, the guys honed their commentating (is "commentating" a real word?) skills. Steve has given notice that he will discuss the twelve bells games, but will be careful to avoid giving out results on-air so as to not ruin the suspense for the Tivotees out there and any borderline tidbits get spoiler alerts before he says them. Those that don't like it can be excused for the next few weeks. Nice ambient sounds were played in the background, it was like being in a stadium of singing football fans. I noticed that they even made their way into the background of a song, hovering from side to side. Mr. Shovel is learning to enjoy the soccer. If you looked for a new post here yesterday, I didn't get it posted until evening and it's right below this one. Off I go for now, today is another exciting footyful day. T.

Teamgeist

"Teamgeist" is what Adidas calls it.

This is the new ball that Adidas unveiled for the World Cup. <---Click It’s scientific. <--Click

This was posted this morning, but technical problems with Blogger intervened and the darn thing wasn't showing up!
T.

Jonesy's Jukebox, June 13

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031. Four minutes after twelve bells and right behind me we have the TV on and Brazil and Croatia has just started. See, I can’t just look at it, I have to wait ‘til commercials or the long songs and then I get up, turn ‘round and then I look at it. But there are some good games this morning. I kind of woke up at six o’clock and I can’t even remember who I was watching. Who was it? It was, I know…I started watching the French, that was at nine. They played Switzerland. That was a draw, that was a good game. That was a good result for Switzerland. And now, the Brazil-Croatia game’s on. Who did I watch this morning? I was half-awake when it started. That’s a hard one, six o’clock. I watched about five minutes of it, dozed off and woke up, you know like, when you’re kind of just hear it in the background. Who was it? I can’t remember. My head’s just gone. It’s a lovely hot day out today. No, no June Gloom, went straight to the sun. None of the gloomy, so that’s good. It actually made me want to break out my harmonica. What do we have today, Mr. Shovel? Any gifts?

Mr. Shovel: Well, first of all, we have tickets to the screening of “The Filth and The Fury” and we also have tickets to The Ark.

Steve: Yes. Noah’s Ark or just…?

Mr. Shovel: Just The. Ark.

Steve: That’s the smaller ark? Noah’s is the big Kahuna, right and then the other arks…

Mr. Shovel: They’re not together any more.

Steve: Right, they broke up. Yes. Another myth, Noah’s Ark. A bloke in a big boat and everyone got in it. It was SO big, the boat, it took everyone. Another stupid myth. Don’t you agree? Just like the fish, the one fish that everyone fed on.

Mr. Shovel: Well it could have been a big fish.

Steve: Could have been a whale.

Mr. Shovel: That’s right.

Steve: Didn’t mention the size of the fish, did they?

Mr. Shovel: No, they didn’t. See?

Steve: and the parting of the seas, I guess that’s possible too, right?

Mr. Shovel: Drought.

Steve: Yeah…when the sea dried up, they walked across it. So it’s all kind of gray-area stuff, but feasible, I suppose.

Mr. Shovel: Well, the Ark is a myth that shows up in a lot of different cultures.

Steve: Does it? Hmmm.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. So, there’s more than one Ark.

Steve: Ark…light.

Mr. Shovel: See?

Steve: Ark at that noise. Ark at that.

Mr. Shovel: Ark The ‘erald Angels Sing.

Steve: Yes. Um, ark…(sings) Ark angels, ark angels, will you be mine? Ain’t that in a song? One of them Fifties doo wop songs? Oh, that’s ‘Earth Angels’. Ah, what the hell…

Mr. Shovel: AnARKchy?

Steve: “AnARKchy In The UK” Excellent. See? You see? Okay. Is there any score behind me, Mr. Shovel? Does it say anything in them little things…

Mr. Shovel: No.

Steve: …does it say, O-O?

Mr. Shovel: Zero-Zero.

Steve: Yes. (strums guitar) What harmonica do I have here? Oh. (blows into harmonica) I dunno what number it is. Has it got an “A” on the end of it…or a “D”…

Mr. Shovel: I don’t see it.

Steve: On that end?

Mr. Shovel: “A”

Steve: “A”. Okay. So that means, if that’s an “A”, if I wanna get, sound half-decent, I think I’ve got to play “C”. (tries it out) That don’t sound right does it? (He continues to try out different combinations of chords) Oh, that is awful. (some more) Oh, I don’t know what I’m doing.

Mr. Shovel: They wouldn’t have let you on the Ark.

Steve: No. Hold on…(continues to test) What…if the harp’s in “A”, what key do you play? ”E”? (plays it) “G”?

Mr. Shovel: I’m thinkin’ “A”. But what do I know?

Steve: (Steve plays an “A” and it fits) I want a minor, I want a minor. (keeps searching) We have any more? There ain’t no more chords. I’m lost. I’m completely lost. (He settles on something in a “B” and plays a few bars) Sounds awful, dunnit?

Mr. Shovel: Maybe you need a different guitar for every harmonica.

Steve: Maybe.

(sings)

Oh, I’m football crazy I am football mad

I know it sounds like downer chords

For someone who is football mad

You’d think you’d have something more uplifting than

these minor chords

to celebrate kicking a ball around

for one month

But my harmonica doesn’t work with happy songs

It only goes with minor chords

Oh lords bring out your soccer balls

And kick them down the street

Because we’ve all gone football mad

For one month then we will go back to being normal

Normal, oh serenade me, Mister

(Mr. Shovel plays a solo on the melodica that sounds familiar and where did he learn to do that?)

Steve: That’s that Neil Young song, innit? (starts to sing the melody to “Like A Hurricane”, Shloemoe’s favorite) It’s the same, right?

(sings)

This a Neil Young song but I thought it was a football song

So I will combine the two into one

Neil Young doesn’t play football

But he does write political songs

You are like a football

There’s one in my eyes

You are like a football

And I don’t know how to kick one yet

He doesn’t know how to get it in the net

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: It’s still…close your ears if you don’t want to know the Brazil/Croatia score. (pause) It is still one-nil to Brazil. Twenty-four minutes into the second half. Very exciting game. I’ve actually moved around the other side now, watching the game. I can give you a commentary:

Some bloke with the ball. He’s clearin’ it. It’s a Croatia bloke with that two-bob shirt he’s wearing. And there he goes, he’s passed it to another one of his mates. (Mr. Shovel laughing in b.g.) He’s running down the wing. He’s going a long way. He’s beating another player! Oh – it’s a corner, goal kick... what do I know. What is it? It’s a corner…corner to Croatia…no it’s not. The Croatians are on the attack. Oh! Goal keeper. Almost scored. And thanks for listening.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

(after the commercial break)

Steve: This game is an amazing game, even if you don’t like football – soccer – you must be drawn to this game cos it’s such an intense game, Brazil/Croatia. Don’t you find, Mr. Shovel, I mean, you’re not a football fan at all, but don’t you find this is a good game?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, actually. I do. But I’d much rather be listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox and just hearing about it second-hand.

Steve: Would you know a bad game if you saw one?

Mr. Shovel: Uh…no. (laughs)

Steve: Okay…it’s the Brazilian bloke – oh, what a cross! Oh! (expectant) Oh. (depleted) See what a commentator I am?

(shifts into neutral commentator mode) He’s got the ball. He’s kicking it. He’s passed it.

Mr. Shovel: (“Chicago” accent, think “Da Bears” sketch from Saturday Night Live) There’s no doubt about it, Steve. If they wanna win this game, they’re gonna have to put that ball in that…

Steve: (shifts to “Chicago”, too) They’re gonna have to make it more entertainin’ over heah if you want America to get onto this thing…

Mr. Shovel: They’re gonna havta step up and give it one hunnert an’ ten percent all da time.

Steve: (even more hyped) They’re gonna have to have a brass band out there, Mister Shovel!

Mr. Shovel: They are NOT gonna win this game unless they score more goals than the other team.

Steve: They rrreallllly gotta get on toppa dis game! C’mon, Mister Shovel…COME ON, PLAY THE GAME! It’s a…it’s a TOUCHDOWN – SHOT BLOCK, that’s FANTASTIC!

Mr. Shovel: I tell you what, I tell you what, back when I was playin’, if they’d done that, they’d take it out of our paycheck!

Steve: (hollering) THERE, C’MON! THERE, C’MON, WE’RE DYIN’ HERE, C’MON! I’M WALKIN’, I’M WALKIN’…C’MON BRAZIL. CROATIA, WHO ARE YA? LET’S HAVEYA, THANK YOU! Play a song, Mister Shovel, I’m havin’ a heart attack…

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

(the last set of songs is over and Steve is back)

Steve: Still watching the game here. It’s almost over, in extra time, now. It’s still…close your ears if you don’t want to know the result (pause) one-nil to Brazil with like, a couple of minutes left. (becomes Chicago guy again, starts out quietly) Oh, it’s a fantastic game, I just am, I am transfixed to dis game. Aren’t you transfixed, Mister Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: (full volume Chicago) There’s no doubt about it, Steve. It’s a transfixing game.

Steve: It really is, it’s one of the most transfixing games I’ve ever seen in my life and I’ve seen a lotta games of soccer…

Mr. Shovel: Boy, I tellyouwhat, Croatia’s not gonna win if the score ...keeps the same.

Steve: They’re not gonna win if they keep wearin’ that outfit. That outfit is TWO-BOB. What do you think, Mister Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: Makes me wanna…make a sandwich and cook somethin’ on it.

Steve: It makes me wanna play chess on that shirt. Look at it. check. mate. Faaantastic. Oh. Okay. Let’s go and visit the Duke. What do you say, Mister Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: Well, I’ll tellya what, Steve…I think we oughta visit da Duke.

Steve: Allright, takeitaway, Mister Shovel…

From June 12

World Cup Willie from way back when, after the taxidermist finished his work.

Welcome back to chriswasanon! Where Tina, Where's Wullie? No se! This is the part of the Internet where we serve for you the juicest freshest cuts of Steve Jones the Jukebox of Indie 103.1 fm. with the Sure Mr. Shovel and any guest. We call it transcription. Now read on...Ah there's Willie. Was he there earlier? Nay. He went missing! Maybe I didn't stick him in there real good. I thought he was there when I left in the morn but perhaps he sort of wandered off. He does seem indifferent.

As far as Wigtown is concerned for the World Cup, I expect a mighty roar to emerge from the flats (apartments) on this particular Thursday when Trinidad and Tobago meet Sven's boys. There is nae real luve to be had fi England FC. in Scotland - with a few notable exceptions.

Spain 3.

So I have been in Spain for a week, my dear and that seemeth so short. One minute Tortilla and Zumo Naranja, orange juice from the tree, the next it's backski to the ole baked beans and pot noodles duh. Ah such is life. Of course whilst away, Albion was blessed by sultry hot weather. Typical eh? Don't let these ex pats tell you that Britain is an unpleasant country with sticky summers and constant rain and misery. They would say that. Come over and see for yourself how ghastly it is...

Black Widow News.

True the UK. doesn't have the abundance of wildlife (serpentos, scorpions, donkeys, goats, slave driver ants, geckos, lizards, spiders) that say Spain possesses. It's mostly cats and dogs here with the odd llama and deer, wild cat, hodgeheg, badger, rabbit, demented chicken and hare thrown in. I do not need to provide you with an exhaustive list of the wild life.

No frills thrills news.

Twas a plane from Malaga in a contracted Jordanian airlines airbus 310 from the aerodrome that brought us back over the Bay of Biscay. On the left, upon descent over British sovereign territory- along the west coast, the Isle of Man and the Mull of Galloway and beyond that Ireland itself. All too soon - final approach. Skid of tyres, kiss Glasgow airport tarmac then wave to pilot and crew in cockpit peering at disgorgment of passengers and rush through the blue channel customs with 0 to declare.

Turron, limones, oranges, fresh figs from the tree, yes fresher than fresca...advocados...250 grams of tabac from Gib Al tariq for Euro 9.99. A load of old bus tickets and a tan that says.

"You been to Bournemouth mate?"

That's enough cheap holiday.

The Steve myspace profile news. Here we see a fine example of the Cross of St George.

Other Indie News. The Indie Dog lives! He wuz 'acked. Probly...So add old dawg to your www.myspace.com but watch out for the poop!

Well now what has Tina served up for you today?

Oh I see...

Next week the Great Barbary Ape theft.

CwA

Tina IS at the Controls!

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031, on Monday morning, 3 ½ after twelve bells. What an exciting week of footy. Watched USA get slaughtered this morning, three-nil against the Czech Republic. It was a big upset, but they’re a good team. They’re in a tough group, USA. Really in a tough group. So I wasn’t surprised. I thought they would have done a bit better.

Mr. Shovel: So, what does that mean? Does that mean they’re done?

Steve: No, they’re not done. They have to win the next game, you know…there’s four teams in a group to get to the next stage and Italy is in their group and it’s a, you know, it’s a tough, tough group to be in. But they absolutely got slaughtered and it didn’t even look like they were gonna, they had a couple of little…there was no flow with them at all, you know. They looked completely overwhelmed.

Mr. Shovel: And they were at a disadvantage because they had those helmets and shoulder pads.

Steve: Yes exactly, Mr. Shovel. Time out. Umm…what else is happening?

Mr. Shovel: How you liking that hybrid?

Steve: I love it. I do love it. I haven’t put any gas, it’s been a week now, today, actually. But I’ve not put any gas in it. It’s getting low, I think I’m going to have to put some in soon, but it’s fun. It’s a fun little motor. I do like it. I do like it. Umm, I’ve just been watching football since it started basically, Friday. England played Saturday. They didn’t look too sharp either, to be honest with you. They beat, they won, one-nil from a set-piece - a free kick that Beckham scored. Basically took a free kick and it went off the other team’s head and went in the goal…we didn’t look that sharp. But I’ve got a feeling when we play Thursday against Trinidad that it’s gonna be a…I think we’re gonna really shine, I’ve got a feeling.

Mr. Shovel: What time is that?

Steve: That’s at nine o’clock. I’ll be able to watch that one.

Mr. Shovel: A.M. or P.M.?

Steve: I’ll be here.

Mr. Shovel: Okay.

Steve: I’ll be here. That’s (from) nine to eleven. That’s what time the USA game was today. Australia – what a great game that was. They played Japan. Japan was up, one-nil, kind of a suspect goal and Australia come back to win three-one. Great game. That was like, one of the best games I’ve seen in the tournament so far. Yeah, I’m loving it. I think there’s a game on now. I think Italy…we don’t have ESPN here, do we? Do we only have the…what was we watching when I came in last week?

Mr. Shovel: That was Univision or one of the…

Steve: Is that the Spanish station? Oh, it might be on, then. I think Italy’s playing. Right now, actually, it started at twelve so I’ll have a little flick on the TV, see if it’s working, see if it’s on there. Um…am I forgetting anything?

Mr. Shovel: Well, we have this big announcement to make later about your screening of “Filth and Fury”. (sic)

Steve: Are we having a big announcement later so I won’t say nothing now, then?

Mr. Shovel: Well, this is what ya call a “tease”.

Steve: Oh, okay. Well, you tease ‘em then and I’ll say it later.

Mr. Shovel: All right. Okay. Well, we’re going to be screening “The Filth And The Fury” at an outdoor location with bands playing before and after the film, doing Sex Pistols songs and you will be broadcasting from there live and we’ll have more about it later.

Steve: And that…is that what you call a “tease”?

Mr. Shovel: That’s a “tease”!

Steve: Oh. That’s great. I’ll have to learn stuff like that.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, what you do is that you don’t give all the information.

Steve: Oh, I get it, to make people stay listening.

Mr. Shovel: Yes.

Steve: Well, maybe you scared people off now…

Mr. Shovel: They might go, “Well, forget it.”

Steve: …”Who wants to go to that?” All right, keeping the theme, keeping the theme – The World Cup. Gonna play a bit of Lonnie Donegan there, “World Cup Willie”.

"Ladies and Gentlemen: The Fiddly Bits!"

Tina here.
I present a bit of the Oldman interview:

~~~ ~~~

Gary Oldman Visits The Box 6/9/06

Steve: Do you like some of your movies?

Gary: Some of them, yeah. I don’t…watch them. I mean, I watch them once and then…

Steve: Watching yourself, do you get all squirrelly when you see yourself?

Gary: Not anymore, no. But I don’t have um…memorabilia. I don’t have pictures and posters on the wall at home.

Steve: No gold records…

Gary: No, none of that stuff.

Steve: Me neither. I have a few pictures of meself, but I don’t have any of that, gold records. I only ‘ave one.

Gary: I don’t really. I mean, I rent the place and the bathroom, it comes with mirrors, so unless I want to kind of, tear them out of the wall, I probably wouldn’t even have a mirror up. It was handy, I had one today, coming to see you.

Steve: …to see me, right (laughs).

Gary: Cos I have a comb in me barnet. (both laugh) So, I’m a pretty low-key chap, really I terms of all that Hollywood stuff…but I’m here, kind of by accident and um, I was in New York for nearly ten years. And those winters, Steve…bloody hell. Those winters’ll kill ya.

Steve: It is, it is taters there, innit, sometimes? And the heat in the summer.

Gary: And then the summer is just like, ohhh. It’s like grease in the air, you know, that…thing. It’s like chicken soup there in the summer…like, bones floating around, know what I mean.

Steve: Yeah, yeah. Horrible, yeah. Quagmire.

Gary: Yeah. And those dirty water dogs, you know those vendors on the corner, that smell?

Steve: The hot dogs.

Gary: Yeah, what I call “dirty water dogs”.

Steve: It’s…a messy place. It’s a dirty, stinky place.

Gary: But I love...at the time, (US accent) “in the eighties”, I loved it. I like, the thing I like about New York is, you come out of your apartment building and you’re…“in the production”. It’s like, “curtain up”. There’s all this…the “show’s” going on and I miss that a little. You know, you don’t see anyone here – where I live - you don’t see people actually…walking.

Steve: It’s all in cars, innit?

Gary: It’s all in cars here, yeah. I went back recently to do a commercial and that was four days in New York and it was, it was nice. It was nice to be around people.

Steve: One more movie question and we’ll move on…cos I like it when we just have a laugh. But, the JFK, I just saw another documentary on the History Channel where they’re actually saying now, after all the conspiracy, that he might have actually did…shoot him, your character.

Gary: Yeah, Lee Harvey Oswald.

Steve: Yeah. Did you do any…what’d you think? I mean, I know you was only acting in it…

Gary: Oh, no, but we were on the locations and…

Steve: It’s possible, then?

Gary: It’s not impossible.

Steve: …from where, from that window?

Gary: Yeah, I mean I went up there…that was one of great things about, I mean, not only I think it’s one of Oliver’s great movies, but you were given this gift because you had a few lines of the script, you know, some money and a bunch of air tickets and then he said, “Go off and find out who Oswald was”. So you actually became, you were an investigator, more than you really were an actor, you know. So we were there and we were on the actual really, most of the locations were the actual locations and he had Dealy Plaza shut down and that whole thing and I was up at that window, with that gun. The moment you get up there, and you look down and…

Steve: Well, did you, was there a scene when the car was actually going by and you was up there?

Gary: No, but I, we were…I mean, in one of the scenes, yeah. But that was the window below, because the window above, that floor is now a museum, but they allowed me to go up to the window with the rifle, just to sort of try it, kind of thing. And the moment you got up there in the position with the gun, you just said, “Oh, no. No way he could ever do this. No way.”

Steve: Really. Cos he was a marksman as well, wunnhe, though?

Gary: Well…you know, was he involved? Yeah, you know…it is a kind of very weird thing where…here’s someone who goes and sort of renounces his citizenship to America and goes and lives in Russia and then comes back and they allow him in, in a time when they were debriefing tourists who had been to Russia. But somehow Oswald slipped through the net. But yet he had worked for the airbase here, in Japan for the U2 spy plane and all that, yet he slipped through. You know, there’s something very “iffy” about all that.

World Cup - Day 1

Tina here. Chris was/is still frolicking in Spain.

Greetings, Happy World Cup to you!

That is THE news, isn't it?

A bit about yesterday's Box. Sire decided to "channel" a spirit and allow this entity to take over the microphone for the show. We were warned that it could be the mayor, a the Devil, a fireman, anybody. Turns out that Pimp Daddy stepped in and he decided to play some Curtis Mayfield, Jeff Buckley, Todd Rundgren, Prince and some disco from "The Great Rock and Roll Swindle among other things.

The best part of the show was when Mr. Shovel pulled off a great bit of comedy without saying a word. He confounded the host by pulling his smooth theme out from under him and switching around different songs that in turns reflected and poked at what he was saying at the time. It was masterful.

From June 7th

Steve: (strikes a chord on guitar) Avon calling. You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031, on a lovely midweek Wednesday, four minutes after twelve bells. We run a tight ship. I believe we’ve got the June Gloom comin’ on, so don’t be alarmed. It’s all the way it’s supposed to be.

Mr. Shovel: I’m glad to have you back.

Steve: Oh, yeah…from my out-of-body experience yesterday, is that what you mean?

Mr. Shovel: It was weird, just looking into that one big eyeball.

Steve: Yes. Well that’s, you know, sometimes you have to go to an outer body to become a higher being, you know - this Incubus Succubus the Sixth. I enjoyed it, though. I don’t remember any of it cos you kind of just black out when you take on someone else. But, I heard the rebroadcast. At that point, I was back to my normal self. I’m like, “Who’s that guy? He sounds weird…oh, it’s Incubus.” (sighs) Actually got a couple of emails from some people saying that they hated it. They changed channels. I don’t get it.

Mr. Shovel: Some people don’t like clowns.

Steve: I know, exactly. I mean, look what they did to Jesus.

Mr. Shovel: Exactly. Clowns, Jesus…

Steve: He couldn’t please everyone, could he? (They) put that poor sod on a cross.

Mr. Shovel: You can make as many fish as you want, some people aren’t gonna like ‘em.

Steve: That’s right. You can’t please everyone. I don’t want to please everyone. Got to please yourself and push it outwards. You know what I mean? It’s impossible to please everybody, innit?

Mr. Shovel: What do you mean, “Push it outwards”?

Steve: You do what you do because you like it. Let’s say: the show, Jonesy’s Jukebox - you stick by what you like…it ridiculous if I try to please people. So you do what you like and then you let it go, you push it out and see if – you don’t even “see”, you just push it out and…you know, you always get some knuckleheads. (reconsiders) They’re not knuckleheads. Listen, if they’re sending me an email, they’re taking their time out to do something. You know, most people who say, listen to Jonesy’s Jukebox, they don’t email or do anything. They just listen and they like it or they don’t like it. If they don’t like it, they won’t listen, if they like it, they don’t like, gotta tell ya you know, what they think of it. That’s what I’d be like. It’s like when I go and see a band. If I like a band, I don’t go up to the front and start dancing. You know what I mean?

Mr. Shovel: And if you don’t like ‘em, what do you do?

Steve: Well, um, I’ll probably leave.

Mr. Shovel: Do you send them an email?

Steve: I’m not going to go up to the front and say, “You suck”, you know? What you gonna do. What you gonna do. I went and saw a movie last night - fantastic, Mr. Shovel. I command everyone to go and see it.

Mr. Shovel: “It”, being…

Steve: I can’t tell you what I saw.

Mr. Shovel: All right then.

Steve: But everybody…

Mr. Shovel: I’ll make sure I go.

Steve: Everybody needs to see it. It’s the Al Gore movie? You know the one? Inconveniently…The Truth?

Mr. Shovel: ” Inconvenient Truth"?

Steve: I think that’s what it’s called.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah?

Steve: It was fantastic, fantastic. I’m so glad I got my Prius. I feel like I’m doing me part as well as saving gas and getting some hairy, hippie birds, I’m glad I got the car. It’s a, very um…I never was really drawn to Al Gore before. But when you see this, you get a different a…different look on the bloke, you know? And I don’t think there’s an agenda cos he obviously ain’t runnin’ anymore is he, for any presidential…whatever?

Mr. Shovel: Not just yet.

Steve: But he’s a…you’ve got to see it. I don’t want to like…I’m not gonna preach to anybody. At the end it says, “Things to do”, to do things better, and one of the things is, “Tell people to go and see this movie”. So I’m ahead of the game.

Mr. Shovel: If you made that movie, obviously…

Steve: No, no no no no. It’s not like that, Shovel. I’m doing my part, mate.

Mr. Shovel: Okay, then.

Steve: I bought my car - Prius car, I recycle and I’m telling people to go and see this movie to get some information about where we’re heading. And I think it’s brilliant. One of the best documentaries I’ve seen, as far as putting it out there and not ramming it down your throat and saying, “This is what we’ve gotta do. They’re the idiots!” It’s kind of just giving you the info on the state of the global warming, of where it’s going and you know, it’s all covered. You know, the skeptics say, “Yeah, well this happens” and I was a skeptic myself. But after you see this, if this is all true, what they’re saying? Then, you know…I wouldn’t want to have a baby because he’s not going to have a good time when he’s older, the way we’re going. But there you are. I’m just doing my bit. Go and watch that movie. “Inconvenience The Truth”…I forget what it’s called.

Mr. Shovel: Wait, wait. If you don’t want to have a baby, then the world’s gonna get taken over by stupid people.

Steve: Yes. But, the people who have babies, have their babies listening to my show and they become intelligent.

Mr. Shovel: Okay.

Steve: See, I don’t need to have a baby to have people (become) intelligent. They just listen to The Box and then they become intelligent. Or they go to the wayside if they can’t comprehend the magnitude of my super-intelligence. It’s quite easy, really. Do you understand?

Mr. Shovel: No, I can’t comprehend it…

Steve: Okay, I’m gonna play a song.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Incubus Succubus III 6-6-06 (updated 6/7 PM)

Incubus Succubus III

Is is just me, or did he sound like Kelsey Grammer?

(The opening theme of Jonesy’s Jukebox fades, overtaken by “Tubular Bells” (more commonly known as the theme from “The Exorcist”)

Incubus Succubus III: Good evening. How are you? Yes. Now you know. This is the Day of The Devil, 666. This is a day of much anguish. There will be hell to pay. You do understand. This is my mellow-devil voice. Do you like it? Put more music, Mr. Shovel. Thank you. This is the Devil’s Concubine, Incubus Succubus the Third. I have come to descend upon Los Angeles, Orange County and Ventura Boulevard. I will put many, many streams down on you. You will be coughing after twelve bells. Chemicals. I hope you enjoy it. I did say twelve “bells” didn’t I? Yes. Take it away, Mister. ("Hell’s Bells" begins to play)

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Incubus Succubus III: Yes. Yes, children of the grave. What a wonderful day it is today. So much anguish. So much pain. So much anxiety. Do you feel it?

I wished it upon you.

You must be soaking it up by now. All the hatred is coming out of your pores. You do concur don’t you, Los Angeles? Orange County. Madison County. Ventura Boulevard. Today is the day we will all be drawn together as one and we will all dissipate into dust. That’s all I’m giving you right now.

Don’t ask me for what songs I played cos it doesn’t matter, because we’re not going to be here after today. So you don’t need to go to iTunes to download anything. It’s all meaningless. I’ll be back.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

It’s been a hundred years. It’s a long time since I descended on thee. Why don’t you go to the Indie website and have a butcher’s at what I look like right now. Do you see me? There’s only so much I can do for you now. I brought you this far. The rest is up to you. Incu-Succubus the Third. I need to get back into my oxygen tank so I will leave you with some music. “Killed By Death” Do you understand?

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

(the end of the second set featured only Mr. Succubus’ irregular breathing pattern)

~~~ ~~~ ~~~
(back from commercial)

Incubus Succubus III: Much better. I have the insulin (?) running through me now. The fire is all inside my veins. My head is ablaze with gasoline. You have no idea what it’s like down here in the core of the earth. Twenty leagues inside the center of the earth. It is so bloody hot, even I, Incubus Succubus the Third, have a hard time sleeping. But I have arisen for this one day. I am the Devil of all devils so I hope you appreciate me coming to the top, to surface amongst you.

Ohhh, it’s so bloody hot…

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

(After the third set, nice placid music plays in the background)

Incubus Succubus III: This is too jolly, this part. Please put the other bit on, Mr. Shovel. What are you doing to me. (“Tubular Bells” starts again in the background) I have an image to maintain. That’s way too jolly. That’s better. Do you know it’s written in the scriptures, on the tablets. There was no “Last Supper”, Mr. Shovel.

Mr. Shovel: I think it was a lunch.

Incubus Succubus III: Did you see the lines of cocaine they were snorting on that big long table? The Devil’s dandruff. Yes. There is no truth to the Biblical “sense”. Can you imagine Malcolm McLaren writing the Bible, Mr. Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: He would have made the whole thing his idea.

Incubus Succubus III: It might as well have been him. It’s just all a load of malarkey.

One doesn’t need to follow history. One just needs to look forward to the future.

Am I being clear? Yes I think you are getting a hang of my verbal incompetence.

Ohh. Tomorrow there will nothing left, Mr. Shovel. Have you ever seen Los Angeles flat, Mr. Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: You’re just working up an excuse for a day off, I think.

Incubus Succubus III: DON’T EVER interrupt me like that again. I mean, leveled. No trees, no mountains, no buildings. No telegraph poles, no utilities. Just flat. I will make it so, Mr. Shovel.

There’ll be no more dreams. No more aspirations of being on a soap or the newest reality tv show.

THIS is reality Mr. Shovel: No more tomorrow. How’s that for reality for you? Does that make sense in your small, TV Land world? ASHES, that’s all you will have tomorrow. Dust of concrete. Oh what the hell does it matter. I’m going to have a quick little nap ‘til the next lot of music.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

(another horribly painful Rubio’s commercial has just played)

Incubus Succubus III: Now you see why I have to level Los Angeles? When you have incompetent commercials like with the “surfer dude” the Bill-and-Ted voice, it’s so old. It must be removed…like everything else in Los Angeles. Don’t worry, Orange County, you will follow. After it is flattened here, I will descend on your neck of the woods. And don’t forget Ventura Boulevard. You and your Seven Elevens will be leveled and your Galleria. Yes. Don’t forget the Galleria.

You think I’m joking, don’t you? You wait and see. Six-Six-Six. It’s been a hundred years since I have been around. (breathes heavily) Why do I bother? Nobody listens. You’re too busy watching “American Idol”. It’s not called “Idol” for nothing. It idles your mind. Don’t get me worked up. I can’t stand your incompetence.

It took me a long time to come from the middle of the earth, up to this radio station. Do you understand how much drilling I had to do to get here? The heat factor? The rubble I had to push to one side with my head? No, of course you don’t understand! Cos you’re too busy playing with your iPods. FOOLS!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Incubus Succubus III: Such torment. Why? Why does man hate man? Why is there such an obsession for power? Why do we kill, to get an extra piece of land? I will tell you why:

Because I have wished it.

We will never be vegetarians. There’s always a side that likes carnivore. And oil. And gambling. And sex for money. There’s always a side that I push the buttons on. It’s the nature of the Beast. Go with your feelings.

Where would we be without wars and destruction? You might watch some documentary where there are killings and say, “Oooh. That is horrific.” But there is always that side that can’t stop watching. That is the side that can be easily swayed in my favor.

I will be back and wrap this soon and leave it to your own devices, you poor, foolish specimens called “humans”. You have no idea the magna and magma and the quagmire.

Yesss…

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I hope I’ve exhausted all your avenues for escape. You had your chance yesterday, but now comes the time. I have to go now. I have to drill my way back into the middle of the earth. I can’t use the same way that I came, because it is already filled in. That’s the drag about the earth. Nevertheless, it was worth it, coming here for one hundred years’ worth. I will just take extra morphine when I get back into the middle. Mmmm. Morphine drip. And all the nubiles oozing around at my feet, ready to cater to my every need. You might think it’s called “Hell”, but I call it “Perfect Harmony”. In my world, anyway.

I’m going to leave you incompetent nincompoops to do what you will in this place you call, “life”. YOU ARE FOOLISH TO BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A FUTURE HERE. YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE AGGRAVATION THAT IS ABOUT TO COME ON YOU! DO YOU HEAR?

I SAID, DO YOU HEAR????
AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

(and with that, he plowed his way back into the bowels of the earth. The End.)

Tina here.

This is the mascot of World Cup 2006, Goleo IV, purported to be the "King of Parties" and "he's as cool as they come" according to the FIFA website. As you can see, he is accompanied by his little friend (that he kicks around), Pille the Talking Football, who is a "right chatterbox and wears his heart on his sleeve".

Here's a bit of World Cup news from yesterdays show:

Steve: World Cup next week, Mr. Shovel.

Mr. Shovel: Oh, goody.

Steve: World Cup. We got to get this ESPN 2 in the studio here so I can watch games. I‘ve got to tell you one thing: If England…like, the first two England games, is next Saturday at six in the morning and the next one’s at nine in the morning, and if for some reason the other England games are on at twelve o’clock, I’m gonna be “sick”. I’m just letting you know right now cos I can’t miss that. That’s the one game I can’t miss is England in the World Cup, if they’re going forward. You understand.

Mr. Shovel: How many times might that happen?

Steve: I don’t know. I doubt if they…I doubt if a lot of the games are going to be at twelve. But I’m just, I’m just letting you know now. That if, if it does coincide with The Box, I’m definitely gonna be “sick”. You can fire me, do what you will, but I can’t miss that.

Mr. Shovel: You’re gonna have to have a doctor’s note.

Steve: I could get a doctor’s note. I have many powers.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I was doing my best to determine the degree of Jukeboxlessness that we could suffer due to the World Cup. It

looks as though Tuesday June 20th, England v. Sweden is at twelve bells is a prospect. Most of the games, when not on the weekend, are at 8 bells Pacific, that is, if I got the time zone thing right. I found a schedule here: World Cup Schedule at BBC Sport. If the time conversion confounds you as it does me, I found this site: World Clock.

~~~ ~~~

Tan Line/ Arse News: A sense of propriety and the presence of mixed company led Steve to keep his trunks on around the pool this weekend. He will have some catching up to do. I am confident that he will keep us updated.

Badass Hybrid news:

Oy.

Chrome Hearts, Pimp that Prius - please. I think this cause is damn near hopeless, though. You'll have to love it for its mind.

I don't see how you could comfortably fit one person in the back of this car, let alone two that are er, .moving around.

Steve: (sings)

Got my Prius it’s for us, my little Prius
See what I can get
Will I get all the tree huggers
in the back seat huggin’ me
Prius
Priustoric
Pre… (you know what I mean…yeah)

Birkenstocks, hemp trousers
I’m gonna go the whole nine yards
And see what kind of minge I can get

I’ll be hangin’ outside vegetarian restaurants
lookin’ for them hairy armpits
I’m bored with the high heels
I need me some high
Birkees

Umm mmm, I’m gonna rub soy beans all over your head
They don’t call me satan for nothin’
I mean, seitan*
It’s a fine piece of fake meat
Mmmm, “I’m gonna give you my seitan, baby!”
Awwww j’yeah

Pre…premat’ch, precumming ahhh, yer gonna get a load of me
Prius I’m half electric, I’m half gas(well you know I’m half gas by now) um hmmm
Prius
Captain Prius I’ve got an electric starship
with a load of buttons and whistles and bells
C’mon hippie, now

Never trust a hippie
Especially one with a ponytail
They all go down to the NAMM show
With their ponytails on and their satin jackets
trying to sell you anything to do with music
the new WD4-6 dimidulator
with the phase quantrain on top of it
“I really want one of those, I think they’re fantastic for when I do my lead guitar”

Prius, oh daddy-o
I’m gonna play some rock and roll
Right now with a bit of Blues Explosion
Burn Off the sunshine
Yeeaaaahhhh

*Seitan, it's the vegetarian wheat-meat!