Sunday, June 18, 2006

Beautiful save there from the half man half fish wonder boy!

Welcome to a Wiki and link strewn edition of chriswasanon. No transcription in this article but I think Tina may be doing a work in progress for you.

Who's that geezer up there then? It's Ron Manager the best football television pundit ever. Actually it's Paul Whitehouse in one of his many guises from BBC television's surreal catch phrase laden, sketch show the "Fast Show."

The Steve news. A sucession of Cross of St George profile pic images for his myspace and an outside broadcast due soon with a screening of the Filth and the Fury on July 1st.

I hardly dare write anything Tina does such a good job of it - I think that we should rename or move the file c:\excellent blog bar none\ to c:\excellent blog bar none\ I am superfluity personified anon.

Nah not really. So did you see the USA. beat off the Italians yesterday? 16th June 2006.

"Football is a game of two halves."

Oh he's fitba crazy.

The Fast show took the idea of the tv. catchphrase and turned it on its head. Television football pundits, the experts that the telly co's trot out were long overdue a serious wigging. Admittedly these pundits are usually ex footballers or managers. They are the ones who do the talking before the match and during the half time blether. They do know what they are talking about.

So here's the setup. There are three guys in the studio. The football commentator, er sportscaster for our Stateside readers and the 2 experts, in this case the sensible Tommy and the "out there" not sensible - Ron Manager.

So here for your amusement or confusement is Ron.

"The Fast Show" (1994)

Football Commentator: Well, Ron Manager, once again the pace and the tempo of that first half totally dictated by the boy wonder, Ryan Giggs.

Ron Manager: Cor, Ryan Giggs, you know? Giggsy, isn't it? Mmm? Giggsy-wiggsy? Mmm?
Oh! Ryan-y Giggsy-wiggsy. Isn't it? You know, marvellous.

Tommy: Is he the new George Best?

Ron Manager: Is George Best the old Ryan Giggs? But Giggsy-wiggsy. Precocious talent, isn't he? Mmm? Ooh, got it all, you know? Speed, acceleration, sweet left foot, all the tricks - the dummy, the drop of the shoulder, the shimmy, nutmeg, jiggery-pokery, hocus pocus, abracadabra, I wanna reach out and grab ya. Steve Miller Band? Spin Doctors? Ooh, very similar.

Football Commentator: Thank you, Ron. Now, Tommy, it's interesting to see the diamond formation being used again.

Ron Manager: Diamond formation? Does anyone really know what that is? I mean, at least you knew where you were with Alf Ramsey's wingless wonders. You know? 4-4-2, 4-2-4, 4-3-3...0898 654000, freephone double glazing?

Football Commentator: You've lost me there, Ron. Not sure about that particular formation. But, Tommy, do we need structure? Look at the Brazilians.

Ron Manager: Oh, those Brazilians, you know? Circa 1970? Broke the mould. Theory out the window. Free expression of football. Uncategorisable. Is that a word? It is now! You know? Far cry from small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts. Rush goalie. Two at the back, three in the middle, four up front, one's gone home for his tea. Beans on toast? Possibly, don't quote me on that. Marvellous.

Well I think that last paragraph does to some extent sum up the youthful Brit footie experience, there really were jumpers for goalposts. Oh but Ron Manager spouting his surreal yet spot on nonsense took football punditry to a new level . I have little concept of how the US networks present football, do they have half time experts?

The other thing that Brit culture was strewn with were football comics and magazines like. Rover, Victor, Hotspur, Valiant, Tiger, Scorcher. Every boys comic had it's own football character adventure strip. Roy of The Rovers was an absolute classic. He played for fictional side Melchester Rovers.

The whole comic book genre was satirised by the Newcastle Viz comic finest who targeted in particular those footballing characters with their strip, "Billy the Fish." Wiki here.

That has been the view from the vanished terraces. Enjoy the games. In next time's groovy ish. I will get out my rosette, pennant, rattle and banner and explain the off-side rule. Probly...not.


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