Thursday, March 16, 2006

A sad doggy tale and a buy it now price of???

The ever dilligent and so industrious TrAnScRiber has just winged another piece of complete Shovelism and Steveology my way and so it's posting time. Well, it's 16.52 in the UK and the weather has been - well look sod the weather - seemed that what with the death of a dog - a sorrowful story but isn't that life? I feel a little blue note creeping into this intro.

I'll tell you what else is sad, I'm stuck back in front of this postage stamp sized monitor and we have had 1 comment so far to show for our continuing deluge of quality posting. Oh well once, a post hound...

Faster than a speeding bullet or Ernie's milk float and he did drive the fastest in the West but how fast? Does it make a mockery of the laws of Transcriptural theory? Well now, in "transcribing terms" that adds up to lets see, mumble 5+5=10 356 X 5890, scribble ah - then subtract ummm...the number first thought of, yes stand on your head okaaaayyyyy but why and press star on your keypad 99 times whilst humming "24 hours from Tulsa" Result in transcriptorium time, quick! Well glad that's sorted! Lets get to the good stuff...

I am reliably informed etc. Indie103.1 etc. LA. OC. etc and over Internet etc. on 14th March 2006.


Steve: You're listening to Jonesy's Jukebox on Indie 1031. On an absolutely gorgeous ah, Tuesday, it's gonna be lovely in about an hour. Probably, my prediction, it'll be about seventy degrees, it's almost getting there now. It's lovely. I just saw something horrible, Shovel. I just saw, as I was coming from, coming thru like, what's that area, Hancock Park? I was driving through there, taking side streets to avoid...to try and get here and off one of these side streets, like where the flash houses are, I saw a dog lying on the floor with another dog, it looked like it was dead, or knocked out or something. And then, either it was his buddy or it was just like, another dog's instinct to see what was happening in the middle of the road, and so the dog was just like, licking him and...standing over him, like looking. That's when I spoke to you, you called me and I told you that. It was...weird though. I didn't know....I didn't have time to stop. It was like, a quarter to twelve and I had to be here - to tell you the story on time. But uh, it's sad when you see things like that. I couldn't figure out if it was the dog's pal that was standing there, or it was just some other dog, saw the other dog lying there, and its...came over and have a look, you know?

Mr. Shovel: Either way, it's really sad.

Steve: Yeah, and I'm sure someone, hopefully will sort what's going on. Maybe the dog weren't dead, but he was lying in the middle of the road...obviously someone's whacked him in a car, you know? There was no blood or nothing, but...

Mr. Shovel: The dog's just looking because they can't dial 911.

Steve: No...I know. That's what's sad about it, it was just looking like, helpless. Like, "What's going on?" They must know, though, that something's wrong, you know what I mean?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, but there's not much they can do. That's really, really sad, Steve.

Steve: Yeah. Well, I thought I'd share it with ya, good times and the bad times. Maybe I'll sing a...I don't want to sing a song about the dog. I might start crying. (Blows a note on his harmonica) I haven't heard much about last night, other than at the end, Winter, he's the geezer, Rolling Stone bloke who took the ah...he went up there for us and he ah, read the note, the statement, the message whatever you want to call it and said that um, our statues, I guess are in Cleveland if we want to get 'em. Something along them lines kind of. I'm not sure, I don't want to get it mixed up. I don't know if it was in a sarcastic way but it sounded like it was a really depressing ordeal, you know? Blondie was fighting. I don't (think) Black Sabbath played. Sounded like it was being in a morgue or something...I'm glad we didn't go. We came out smelling like roses, I think, compared to everyone else. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. But I want to get me statue. I wanna see how much money I can get for it on eBay...you can probably get a pretty penny, right? They're hard to come by.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, but it seems like you should hold onto it. Let it mature in value.

Steve: Yeah? (laughs) If someone offers me a pretty penny for it now, I'll flog it, no problem. 877 900-1031!

Mr. Shovel: Just don't take it out of the wrapper!

Steve: Put your bids in right now for Steve Jones' Hall Of Fame statue. I guess I have to go get it first. Maybe I'll...maybe I'll go to Cleveland and say, "Oh, I'll take the other guys' with me too and I'll give it out to them", and I'll sell 'em as a package! (Mr. Shovel laughs) What'd ya think? Hmmm?

Mr. Shovel: Now did uh, did Sid's family get one too?

Steve: Ahh...I don't know. I wasn't there. But I would imagine...I don't know, I would imagine so...Sid, Glen...I would imagine, you know? I don't think...they're like ah, you know, gold or anything. I think they're like just, I don't know what they're made of.
(begins to play his guitar) Is there a song there though, you think?

Mr. Shovel: PLastic Pistol. Statue.

Steve: "Plastic Pistol". Have you got this guitar mike on?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah.

Steve: That don't sit right. Come up with another, along the same lines.

Mr. Shovel: I'm Going Back To Cleveland?

Steve: Oh, you need a song as well. Oh, you've got one?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, I've got one.

Steve: (burps) Pardon. I had a oatmeal fritatta this morning so prepare. There could be some bombs going off in here.

(begins to sing)

How much is it worth

(He stops)

Steve: No. No I don't like that chord.

(changes chord and continues singing)

for my statue
Are you willing to give me
Twenty-five grand for that statue?

(Mr. Shovel inserts audio of man shouting, "Hello Cleveland! Hello Cleveland!")

How much is it worth
Is it worth the same amount for a table
Is it worth it
Is it worth it
Is it worth it
I don't know

(plays harmonica)

Two bob
oh my starting bid's at two bob
Can I get two bob, oh no
Fifty quid, do I see any more
for fifty quid
oh yes

The man in the corner
with the carnation in his pocket
he's bid two bob
Oh yes you can have my statue
but is it worth it?

Transcribing by Tina. Situationist ramble by Chriswasanon.

Thank yew kindly.

Steppin' up? See yesterday's "steppin' up."

1 comment:

rotter said...

Chris and Tina are un-cun'ts...thanks!