Friday, September 22, 2006

From September 21, 2006 Deer

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031. It is three and a half minutes after twelve bells. Was there a fire somewhere? I went hiking last night, like around four, five…and there was just smoke…

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, there’s a fire in I think, Los Padres.

Steve: Where’s that?

Mr. Shovel: Don’t know. But that’s where it is.

Steve: It looked like it was like, West…out near Calabasas or Malibu or somewhere. It looked like it was coming from there.

Mr. Shovel: It’s that time of year.

Steve: It is, it’s very dry out. Very dry. It’s the first day of Fall, Saturday you know, Mr. Shovel.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. The Vernal Equinox.

Steve: Does that mean it’s all like, downhill from that day ‘til the next six months?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. It’s gonna only be in the seventies. All winter.

Steve: Oh, I can’t think of anything to talk about. What’s going on? Is there any…? You know when you walk, when you exercise, your brain thinks more and I think of things. I need to take a pen and paper cos I have ideas but by the time I get home and my heart rate’s gone down, I forgot the ideas I had.

Mr. Shovel: Take a little Mp3 recorder.

Steve: Yeah. That’s what I want to do when I go hiking. But yeah. Thanks for the thought. Maybe I just need to get my phone, learn how to use the tape recorder on that.

Mr. Shovel: Hey, that’s a good idea.

Steve: Yes. Oh, it’s Megan’s birthday today. Megan who works for Indie. Happy Birthday, darling. Congratulations.

Mr. Shovel: Fires are near Ojai, by the way. So there you go.

Steve: Oh, so I was right. It was up there, up that way. Any fatalities? Does it say any fatalities?

Mr. Shovel: Wildlife.

Steve: Ohhh. I saw three deer last night. I think they eat all the grass, all the ivy outside my house. I asked me gardener, I said, “Where’s all the ivy gone?” He says, “That’s deer eating it”. Funny, innit? They’re making a right mess of it, but I kind of don’t mind it cos it’s going…I like the fact that deer come to my house and eat my ivy. And they’re not eating anyone else’s cos I think they have different kinds of ivy and they’re probably not, don’t find tasty. I like deer. Quiet animals. They don’t bark. I like any animal that don’t bark. Should I do a song?

Mr. Shovel: I’d go with the deer.

Steve: Deer’s a safe bet, actually.

Mr. Shovel: But they don’t get the poison ivy that you get.

Steve: I didn’t say it was poison ivy.

Mr. Shovel: Well, you get poison ivy from your yard.

Steve: Out the back. Maybe they do. Maybe they do. Maybe they don’t get it though. Maybe they’re immune to it, I don’t know. Cos they’ve been living in scrubbery rubbery for hundreds of thousands of years. So maybe they’re just all immune to it, I don’t know.

(Steve sings)

Deers oh oh deers
They’re quiet nice animals
They don’t make no noise
Not like the dogs in my neighborhood
The ones that don’t get no exercise all day
Because their owners don’t care anyway
The poor old dogs are losing their mind
That’s why they bark all day

Deers I like their droppings
They have little droppings
Why can’t everybody have droppings like deers
They’re the best droppings in the world
Deers have the best droppings ever
They drop the droppings very nice deers

They can eat all of my ivy
I don’t care cos I like the deers
Deers are good and they run in packs
There’s always families of deers

Oh dear
Oh oh deers
They have four legs
And have big ears
Them goddamn deers
I love them so

They have nice furry coats
And big eyes
The ears hear every little noise
I like deers


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