Wednesday, September 20, 2006

A bit of September 19

I know I should have more, but I was goofing off last night when I should have been transcribing. (T)

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Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031. It’s five after…no it’s not. It’s coming up to four after twelve bells. It’s nice and warm, a little bit smoggy. I felt me eyes burning a little bit, driving here this morning, because I do have sensitive eyes and ears. Just highly evolved hearing and sight and you know, sound. Anything. I pick up things a lot more than most people, before they do because I’m highly sensitive, in-tuned human specimen. Way more than regular people…so I can feel me eyes burning, a little bit. But it’s okay. Got John Cameron Mitchell coming in later on. If you don’t know who he was, he’s the…(correcting himself) who he is, he’s the bloke who was, I think he wrote, and starred in “Hedwig” in the movie and he started off with the play in New York and he’s got a new movie out. So he’s going to be coming on. That’s going to be fun. I’m looking forward to that. What else is happening Shovel? Anything? How’s the spinach going?

Mr. Shovel: Ah, I don’t know. I don’t pay attention to the spinach story.

Steve: The ibola, iola, ibola…

Mr. Shovel: e boli…

Steve: What is that, is that that thing that people were dying of in Africa and they bleed to death?

Mr. Shovel: Nah, that’s e coli.

Steve: Oh.

Mr. Shovel: No, wait. That’s e boli. E coli is the one that comes out of cow poop.

Steve: So it’s similar to…you die like that? You kind of internally…

Mr. Shovel: No, it’s not the same at all.

Steve: Why is it’s name so familiar? Coli, oli…eli…mo-my. I’ve got a case of spinach poop. What can you do for me doctor? Can you remove this for me? My spinach has poo poo on it and I’m getting very sick.

Mr. Shovel: We have Scissors Sister tickets to give away.

Steve: Oh, rully?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah.

Steve: (funny voice ) How many pairs we have there, Mr. Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: Two pairs.

Steve: (gibberish) Spinach.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, you don’t want to put cow manure on that.

Steve: What? I always sprinkle it on when I have my spinach. I find it most delicious. I don’t know what’s the problem. Ee oli, bo holi. (sings) Macca hula hai…what should I sing this song about?

Mr. Shovel: Well, being that you’re so sensitive and everything, I’m surprised that you can get away with that.

Steve: Well, I can also reverse it to things that, when I want my immune system to not deal with things, I can turn it the other way. Fight off anything, as well. When most fall to the ground, I’ll be walking…over ‘em.

Mr. Shovel: Cos you’re highly evolved.

Steve: Yes. My brain is the size of a Neanderthal.

Mr. Shovel: You’ve become immune to cow poo.

Steve: That, too…it’s only you know…cow dung, I think, is the…what we call in the trade as the real name. There’s poo, cow dung.

Mr. Shovel: Cow pies...

Steve: Cow pies and macaroni cheese and cow pies. You can’t beat a good cowpie. From Cal Worthington and his dog Spot. (sings) If you wanna buy a car, go cowpie. If you wanna buy cowpie go see Cal. If you wanna go piecal, cal put in your hole and…

Mr. Shovel: Whoa!

Steve: HEY LAYdee.

What should I sing a song about? Got any ideas?

Mr. Shovel: I’m not touching that…

Steve: Well, I wouldn’t expect you to. Not without gloves on.

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