From September 20 - Debris

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031. It’s four minutes after twelve bells comin’ up to four minutes, by the clock in here. It’s about seventy-five degrees. Nice. A bit hazy, sure it’ll be warmer…one more wallop before the real wintery kind of vibe kicks in. I had a good game of football last night, we won 5-4. I scored two goals, ‘bout time I scored a couple. Frustrating game. It was 4-1 at half time and they came back to 4-all. Couldn’t believe it. But we got a final goal from a free kick near the end so that was great. There’s a big ole article in the Chelsea magazine, the official Chelsea magazine, the October issue, there’s a big article with yours truly in it from when I did an interview in the station here after the show when the Chelsea lads were here couple of months ago. There’s some cool pictures in there.

Mr. Shovel: Really good pictures.

Steve: There’s a funny one with the classic Pistol photograph. They put John Terry and Lampard and Cudicini and Joe Cole on the heads of the Pistols. It looks pretty good. I’d like get that, put it on MySpace. I removed a bunch of people from Myspace actually the other day. I didn’t realize that the spies that I have, looking to find out if I’m not in their Top 8, they can’t check the ones that are blocked. You know the ones, they block their…you know, you can’t look at their profile?

Mr. Shovel: Unless you’re their friend.

Steve: Yeah. Which, obviously I didn’t put two-and-two together but the people who are checking can’t check them so I said, “Send me the heads of the ones who have the blocked things” and sure enough, there was about fifteen that were hiding in there without me in their top eight. I had to remove ‘em.

Mr. Shovel: That means they used to be your friend and they opted to get rid of you.

Steve: Yeah. So they’re gone.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. Well, you’re gone from them.

Steve: No, I wasn’t gone from them. I wasn’t in their Top 8. Don’t you understand?

Mr. Shovel: Right, because you weren’t even in their top anything.

Steve: I was at one point. Don’t you understand?

Mr. Shovel: (laughing) Yes.

Steve: Gonna play some pimp today. A lot of pimp. I’m in the mood for some stuff. I’m not gonna do the voice and I don’t want to hear the same old soundbites for it. I’m just gonna play the music. Anything else happening today, Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: Piece of garbage floating around the space shuttle, that’s about it.

Steve: Oh, there is?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah.

Steve: Whatcha mean? There’s a space shuttle up there?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, they got some garbage floating around. Made a big deal out of it.

Steve: What, and it hit the space shuttle?

Mr. Shovel: No, it’s just out there. They were worried about it.

Steve: Maybe it’s a dead person, got shot into space.

Mr. Shovel: That’s what I was thinking. I didn’t want to say it.

Steve:

There’s a dead person

Floating around in space

I wonder who that person is

Maybe he was on myspace

Now he is removed because

He tried to sneak around

Without being in my Top 8

Now you’re too late

I put him in the cannon

Fired him up into the atmosphere

I left his clothes on

But I think they disintegrated up there

So he is knackered

You poor old sod

You should have left me in

Your Top 8

You’re out in space

Just a piece of garbage

Hitting space shuttles

And all them other things that do technology

What are them things called? Satellites.

You imbecile

Don’t defy the Pontiff

Or you will be removed

Removed

If you want to be my friend

Don’t just come and have a butcher’s

And then leave

Oh whoa

What’s it like up in space

I’d like to know

Is it dark looking

Back at the earth

Is it a happy place

It must look quite happy from up there

But soon as you get closer to it

You realize there’s a lot of hate down here

And a lot of wrong stuff goin on

Oh oh

It looks kind of blue

With some puffy clouds

And some green

Don’t let the blue move over to the green

Or we will drown

Please watch your emissions

And your fossils

Fossil fuel

The gas prices have come down

To make everybody feel happy

Oh oh oh

But you know it’s only temporary

Then they’ll have another jab

In a month or two

Oh oh oh oh

I wish I was a piece of garbage

Floating around in outer space

At least you don’t have to eat up there

Or sleep up there

You can’t do much but masterbate

In outer space

I heard it’s a better orgasm

When you’re in the outer atmosphere

Oh oh oh

I gotta remember to bring my Astroglide

The next time I ride in the cannon

Oh oh oh

Oh oh oh