Tuesday, June 20, 2006

From June 19, 2006

Welcome back to Chriswasanon. The part of the Internet where we strive to bring to you the very best parts of Jonesy's jukebox with Steve Jones and Mark S(h)ovel on Indie 103.1. In a handy cut out and keep transcriptural format.

You may or may not have noticed that our posts in keeping with the FIFA World Cup 2006 are kick the ba orientated. Football or Soccer or association football, don't matter what you call it, it is still the beautiful game. I saw the socceroos play a very good game against the World champions, Brazil.

Tonight it is of course Engerland v. Sverige. I note with some consternation that there are not enough radio feeds on the Net covering the World Cup. Perhaps www.sun.co.uk can assist. Perhaps not...

Ahhahaha - I note that everybody does that nowadays. Rotter started it though. Actually Rotten started it. I used to call this sort of thing, "a lol moment" but I think ahahahah is more shall we say fitting?

So FIFA have official sponsors for the World Cup. Loyal Dutch fans/supporters/followers sport oranj. An estimated 250,000 pairs of orange lederhosen were purchased by Dutch fans to show their allegiance. On Friday when Holland played Ivory Coast, FIFA officials insisted that the Dutch remove these garments. Due to their being emblazoned with a non sponsorship deal Niederlandische beer brand name across them. The fans had to watch the game in their pants/shreddies/gruts/unmentionables. They were forced to deposit the rogue trousers in the trash or miss the match entirely Story taken from here

What is the world coming to?

The Myspace Steve news? I've seen enough. Some Stereoscopic binoculoid Steve there for you.

That's enough Chriswasanon. Until the next time...Aye but I was disappointed that Steve didn't re-run the Alan McGee interview but at least Tina transcribed it and you can see that one below today's post.

What's T for Tina got first then? Oh yes...Oh dear...too much football? Never and in two years...it will be Euro 2008!

Now read on...

Tina IS at the controls.

Steve: You are listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031. Monday morning. I’m all beaten up, Mr. Shovel.

Mr. Shovel: What happened?

Steve: Played football yesterday. Friday, played football, too. I didn’t get beaten up then, but yesterday, got beaten up. I think I bruised me ribs at the back. It hurts. You ever bruised your ribs? It’s so painful.

Mr. Shovel: Mmmm…no.

Steve: It hurts when you sneeze. So I feel I’ve been beaten up.

Mr. Shovel: Well, don’t sneeze.

Steve: Yeah, okay. (sighs) Umm, football. Overdosing on football. I thought…I’d never say that. But there’s some good games. I watched um…oh god, there’s so many bloody games. I can’t even remember who’s who. In the end it just looks like a bunch of blokes just running around kicking balls. I don’t even know who’s playing what. Who was it this morning, Croatia? And Saudi Arabia? Oh, I dunno. It was a good game, though. England tomorrow, playing Sweden at twelve o’clock.

Mr. Shovel: At twelve.

Steve: We can watch that here, live.

Mr. Shovel: You’re gonna be here?

Steve: Yeah, I’m gonna come in cos it’s not the biggest, important game. So I figure I’d come in.

Mr. Shovel: So, you’re expect they’re just going to roll right over Croatia?

Steve: No we don’t…I think we’re already in, whatever the outcome is cos it’s, well it’s not a big deal, but it’ll be good for the seeding if we win or get a draw.

We’ve got The Futureheads coming in today, at one o’clock. Looking forward to that. Let me tune my Yamaha guitar.

Mr. Shovel: What brand is that?

Steve: That’s a Yam-aha. I did say, Yam-aha…(starts to play) sounds like a Yamaha, dunnit? Don’t you think? Is this on, or is this just for show, this mike? Oh, my hand’s all seized up. Sounds good. What’s this? (starts to play “Sara” by Fleetwood Mac)

Mr. Shovel: Yes?

Steve: It’s Fleetwood Mac, innit? It’s the intro to that one.

Mr. Shovel: I’ll go get my moccasins.

Steve: (sings) Wait a minute baby, stay with me a while…and we’re all drowning in a sea of love...

I’ve done that before, I think. Oh, I need a coffee or something. Maybe I should take some asprin for me ribs. Some ibuprofen or something. Oh, it hurts just to breathe in.

Mr. Shovel: Maybe you broke a rib.

Steve: I don’t think it’s broken. I hope not. Don’t say that.

Mr. Shovel: Did they strap you to the stretcher and carry you off?

Steve: And let me get up and get back on again?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah.

Steve: No, it’s not, it’s not that professional. Even though…you know what’s funny? When you’re playing football while the World Cup’s on, everyone starts thinking, you know, doing things that they do in the World Cup. Like the refs are giving out a lot of yellow cards.

Mr. Shovel: A lot, yeah.

Steve: And they’re doing that with us on the Sunday morning. You know, it rubs off, all that stuff.

Mr. Shovel: So every time somebody even comes close to you, do you throw your arms in the air and start going, “Owwww!”

Steve: Yeah, well that’s what I did. I fell on the floor. You know what I mean. Ukraine, that’s who played Saudi Arabia. They’re out, Saudi Arabia. Yes. I had such big plans for the show today, then I get on the air and I’m just like, bumfounded. I’d like to say thanks to my mate, Paul Stokes, who’s got the Stop Sign and Design place which is on 5772 West Venice Boulevard. He put a thing on top of my car that looks pretty cool. Like a sign, you know…they put this vinyl stuff on there.

Mr. Shovel: For what…what’s on there?

Steve: Well, I’ll give you a clue…it’s for the World Cup. I don’t want to tell too much cos I don’t want…(starts playing bluesy bits on his guitar in b.g,)

Mr. Shovel: You’re not like, driving Budweiser around on it?

Steve: No. No no no. Beano, I’m driving around. It’s a sign for Beano…know what Beano is?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. Something that you need.

Steve: I refuse to take it. I will never take Beano. I am proud of my gas.

Oh, I watched that movie the other day, that new one, the documentary on…”Who Killed The Electric Car”.

Mr. Shovel: Ed Begley Jr’s coming in.

Steve: I know, I can’t wait. Find the ins and outs. It’s pretty good, though. Kind of similar to that Al Gore one. You never know what the truth is, really. (still playing guitar) You know what we should play though, when he comes on, is that Gary Newman song. Maybe he plays guitar. Maybe we could play “Cars”.

Mr. Shovel: He plays drums.

Steve: Maybe he can play the beat and I’ll, I’ll play the music and the voice to “Cars”, Gary Newman. Or “Are Friends Electric”.

Mr. Shovel: Remember, he played drums in The Flower People.

Steve: Really? That was a band?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, it was…before they were Spinal Tap.

Steve: Oh, right. He’s in it, yeah that’s right. Very good. Who else can I give a plug to this morning?

Mr. Shovel: Let me see. What kind of pick are you using?

Steve: Oh, it’s just a plain old pick. It don’t even have a name on it. Planet Waves. Who knows what that is…I don’t even know where I got it.

Mr. Shovel: I don’t know. Just drink some Cricket Cola and play a song.

Steve: I wish. They meant to give me some. They haven’t given me any. They’re defying. They’re defying my tummy, Cricket Cola. They said they were going to send me a bunch.

Who else - Toyota, they’re taken care of, we don’t need to plug them. I think I’m doing a thing for a MySpace phone-thing. I think that’s coming up soon. (still strumming in b.g.)

I want to do a commercial for Beano, though. I think that would be hilarious. And I can, (do a) before and after, you know. I’ll let a good, right ripper out and then I’ll drink a bit of Beano and then - there’ll just be silence.

Mr. Shovel: Maybe they’ll give you a supply of ‘em, too. I don’t think it’s a drink.

Steve: No, it’s like a little thing…you put a little tab on your tongue, don’t you?

Mr. Shovel: It’s a pill.

Steve: It’s a pill?

Mr. Shovel: It’s an enzyme.

Steve: Oh. I see. I see.


Oh, I used to be football crazy but now
I don’t know what team’s what
There’s so much to absorb on the telly
that they all look the same to me

Are they Ukraine?
Are they Norway?
Are they Holland?
I can’t see anymore

I’m blinded by green grass and white lights
on the path to glory
Oh silly me

Is it Brazil
Or Argentina?
Or is it ‘spanol
Or maybe Mexico

Is it England or are they dreaming
with ole Laurel and Hardy up front who’s seven foot tall
Who else is in ze Cup have I missed

USA, they did pretty good the other day
Against Italy, hey-hey hey-hey
What do you say, fugeddaboutit Italy
Ayy, whatyagonndo?
You’ve got to beat the USA

And for the refs
They’re handing out red and yellow cards
like there’s no tomorrow

They think they’re Smarties
(Here, have a Smartie because you did nothing wrong Mr. Football Man)
You need to really give him a good kick in the nuts
And I will give you a red card for good reason

Oh whatever happened to me
I used to be normal before they put football on the telly
Now I’m addicted like all the other addictions that I have
Now I need to go to Football Addictions Anonymous
On the TV

Oh ho ho ho
Ho ho ho ho ho
(that’s my Morrissey impression)
hohohoho oh hoho ho ho
oh ho ho ho ho ho
ho ho ho ho

~~~ ~~~ ~~~


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