From Monday, May 8

Welcome back to Chriswasanon.

The myspace Top 8! news.

Deny, Defy, Cheese and Pickle - what does it take?

to make the Pontiff's top 8?

Fun and games!

It would have been nice to stay for just a while longer. Oh you can stay just a little bit longer...

Perhaps the Pontiff would hear this poor unloved sinner's confession.

Congrats... on the TOP 8!

Is this a transcription day...it is...it is...but first the blog and in a packed blog...

I had such a sleepless night last night but what an absolute belter of a day it's been. You know I never tire of the sound of birdsong. Or a hedge hog's grunt. The shrill sparrows staking out their territories and the imitative starlings and the beautiful song of the blackbird. I love all that stuff.

Footie news. Soccer, the beautiful game news.

Not to mention the entire Spurs team what got winter projectile vomiting disease and ended up being robbed for next year's European Champions League by their hated rivals (but not John Lydon's,) Arsenal.

Yesssss, I owe allegiance from my bro and my dad and my grandad "God rest Joe's soul," to the Arsenal. FC. North London. I owe Tottenham Hotspur 0. Also North London. It really pissed my brother off when as a boy I supported Chelsea though. See football fans do not change their teams, they just don't. You are allowed to follow one team and one team only, it's a life time commitment. Sustainability.

So how about this World Cup tale just in, filched from the Herald newspaper diary page hosted by Ken Smith.

An Englishwoman living in Johnstone (which is er in Scotland) struggled to keep a straight face. She was eavesdropping on 2 wee wummin on her bus and they were talking about tv. sets, one of the auld wifies needed to buy one. Her friend said they would be a cheaper deal after June cos of the World Cup. Pressure to buy new tellys etc.

"World Cup, What's that? Is that the English World Cup?" said the future tv. buyer.

"Naw, it's the World's World Cup" said her pal and then added..."But if the English win it, they'll say it's theirs."

"Too right we will," the English woman told Ken Smith.



Now lets get to the main event. The transcription. What is in that Cricket Cola, Durophet? I note from the guardian paper today that if not the Soprano's sorry :-( a whole bunch of LOST can be viewed on http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/L/lost/ but I would prefer look it's only an opinion - to listen to the evensong of birds before chanting in plainsong "Pontifex Maximus Adoremus." Which is Latin for "Steve we love ye man." Actually the literal translation is adore him.

Tina IS at the controls.

Steve: Hello? You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031. Oh…hello, boys and girls. It’s Monday, it’s that horrible weather but I was told it’s gonna burn off, so hopefully, it will. Monday…ohh…what’s goin’ on? Did you watch Sopranos? You don’t watch Sopranos, do you, Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, normally I do, but I was working on my show yesterday, so I couldn’t do it.

Steve: So, how do you normally watch it if you’re always working on your show on Sundays?

Mr. Shovel: On…they you know, repeat it.

Steve: Oh, on Mondays they have it on. Do you, do you have a Tivo thing?

Mr. Shovel: No.

Steve: On Monday nights they rebroadcast it as well. It was pretty good, not as good as uh…I think everyone just is dying to see what happens with the, with the gay guy, the closet gay guy. And, he wasn’t in the picture. I guess there’s two or three more episodes left. It was kinda, a bit dull yesterday, long and drawn out. What’s his name, the young bloke? He…he started shooting dope again. You know, the one that goes to AA?

Mr. Shovel: Michael Imperiloli.

Steve: Yeah, he’s starting ta…messing about. Well, I don’t want to tell ya.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. No, don’t tell me.

Steve: I don’t wanna blow it for you…

Mr. Shovel: Does he OD?

Steve: (Sopranos accent) I ain’t sayin’ nuffing. I don’ wanna blow it for ya over there. Ya know what I mean? I don’ wanna blow it.

What do you think that’s all about when…when people who are gay don’t want anyone to know they’re gay and they’re in the closet and they won’t come out, they take it to their death bed?

Mr. Shovel: I don’t know, maybe they don’t want to get tied up to a fence and beaten to death.

Steve: Yeah, but there’s a lot of other people…I don’t think that happens. Especially if you’re from…living in Hollywood anymore. I don’t think that’s a thing that’s…you know, I mean there’s so many gay guys here anyway. It’s not like you’re in some hick town and you’re gonna be the only gay guy if you say you’re gay, you know? But my point is, I wonder what it’s like cos it must be, it must be torture if you’re gay and you’re terrified to let anyone know, cos you’re not being yourself, right? So it must be a really hard thing to battle with, constantly with this front that you’re not gay, but really you are. It must be a hard thing to, to deal with. You know what I mean?

Mr. Shovel: I don’t know. I mean, do you go around telling everybody about your sex life?

Steve: Yeah.

Mr. Shovel: Oh…well okay, besides you…

Steve: Yeah, but it ain’t even a point, it ain’t even that. It’s like, you know, if you’re hanging with some guys and guys are always talking about girls and you have to kind of make out you’re talking about girls, too. It’s like this big lie that you constantly have to be on your toes, worried about if someone finds out. It’s…wouldn’t it be easier just to like, say…wouldn’t it be like a relief to just, if you are gay – come out. Cos I couldn’t stand to carry something like that around. I’d have to say, “You know what, this is the deal”. You know what I mean? It must be hard. I feel bad for guys – or women – who fancy their own sex cos they have to hide it, you know.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah…they must have their own reasons. Everybody’s got free will.

Steve: Yeah. But my point is, I’ve seen a lot of people…I know a few people who are like that and they seem tortured. That’s my point. It’s not their choice to say it for some other reasons like, some actors…okay, they do it cos it makes sense. If America or the world realized that they’re gay, they’re not going to get leading parts because no one really wants to see a guy whose gay, you know he’s gay but he’s having a scene with a woman, people don’t buy it. So, there’s a lot of money at stake there. I understand that. But what I’m saying is, if you really want to, when you’re gay and you can’t say it, it must be torture. That’s all I’m saying. Maybe I’m lying. Maybe I’m wrong.

I’m gonna play…I’m really tired today. I didn’t get to bed ‘til like, four thirty, five o’clock. My stupidness. I had a Cricket Cola at around twelve o’clock and it just…I couldn’t believe how wired I was. So I’m really tired and I don’t feel great. I’m all achy from playing football Friday and Sunday and I’m aching…really tired. So I figured, if I’m gonna suffer, I’m gonna make you all suffer and play just instrumentals today. Yeah. I’m gonna show you lot out there. If I’m going down, you’re coming with me. Track one, I think we’re going to play, Mr. Shovel. What was you gonna say?

Mr. Shovel: Rather than drinking a Cricket Cola at midnite…

Steve: Yes?

Mr. Shovel: perhaps you could drink one at noon.

Steve: Rully? Twelve bells.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, like now.

Steve: Yeah. Well it was twelve…similar times…

Joint Flora "Bobby Moore" Tina and Chriswas "safe pair of hands" anon production.