Thursday, April 13, 2006

Rambling About The Range - April 12

Welcome back to Chriswasanon, a sort of blog about myspace and a radio show. Nice to see our old hit counter trucking along. I hope that Car's banned from myspace post got through. Cos this hare is an information service and we on the chriswasanon the old chriswasanon believe that the pony post must get through. So give me a home - where the buffalo roam and I will show you a very muddy carpet. The stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart of Dallas.

"I tried to ban it, tried very hard y'know but they said there would be lawsuits and I thought welllll." Promoter on the Dallas leg of the tour of Sex Pistols in 78.

God I wish I could play the old moothie, er mouth organ. Some valuable information from Aaron on cleaning one. Move over Larry Adler, I'm coming to getcha. So we been on a wooding mission and got ourselves a hot little fire going. Was that a shooting star? I like that cowboys t-shirt you are wearing Roger, nice black label. SEX? Ooh I'm not that kind of a dogie rounder-upper. Oh clobber! More beans...with yer hominy grits and them pork chitterlins? Well I reckon somethings in this little old world of ours aint worth that amount of jumping up and down over and you know Roge...there are times when a man's jist damn well got to get away from it all for a while. Or something. Take it away Tina.

The comments Steve posts from the cast of characters on his MySpace can be quite humorous and even educational.

Aaron gave The Pontiff some props as well as some advice on the care and cleaning of a harmonica: “Yesterday's show was amazing. You were crazed! How to Do Basic Maintenance on Your Harmonica. Cleaning Steps: 1. Tap the harmonica vigorously against the palm of your hand before and after playing. 2. Run tap water through the harmonica to dissolve saliva and food deposits. 3. Shake out the excess water, then tap the harmonica against your hand. 4. Hold your head in an upright position when playing, which will keep excess saliva from clogging up your instrument. 5. Play with a "dry" mouth. 6. Use a soft cotton cloth to wipe the harmonica."

There's this one from Doppler: “Really, if you could get into more detail about the stench of your harmonica during my lunch hour that would really be appreciated. Dear, God, you continue to defy. F'in A!”

Here’s today’s selection.

Tina IS at the controls.

Steve: (speaks as he’s tuning his guitar) You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031. A gorgeous day out today, Wednesday. One minute after twelve bells. It really is a nice day out. Let’s tune this thing up, give it it’s weekly tune-up. I just washed my harmonica, like I was told to. Tap it on your hand and then you run water through it. It still stinks, a bit. Maybe you’ve got to put a, some disinfectant would be good.

Mr. Shovel: At that point, you need to use a…like a toothbrush.

Steve: Oh, you do? Is that what’s…you just making that up or is that…

Mr. Shovel: No. But it if was new and it wasn’t stinky, you could just rinse it out.

Steve: (sniffing the harmonica) Now it smells of…not pleasant. It doesn’t smell of saliva, it just has a weird like...old socks or something. Oooh…I dunno if I can blow this today. Maybe I’ll just grin and bear it, just cos that’s how dedicated I am to entertaining Los Angeles and Orange County…and a little bit of the valley. (blows a note on his harmonica) See that? See what I do for you lot? Spoil you lot rotten. (blows a couple more) And a high note. (blows a high note) And all the notes. (and he does) Oh, I see. When you blow on it a bit, it smells a bit better. (blows a few flourishes, very lovely) It sounds so jolly doesn’t that? Just going up and down, jolly…like “The war’s over!” (blows a jovial bit) It’s like that “Anarchy” - the French bloke singing “Anarchy”. (mimicks the Jerzimy “L’ Anarchie Pour Le UK” from The Swindle)

What’s going on, Shovel? Anything new in this exciting world that we live in?

Mr. Shovel: We’ve got to put together a cd of all your little goofy songs.

Steve: Yeah. I think we need to put a cd together of our best in-the-studio performances of people who have been on here. I think that would be good.

Mr. Shovel: But if you did just your goofy songs, then you know, you wouldn’t have to pay anybody else for publishing.

Steve: That’s true. I don’t mind paying someone, though. If it’s a good thing, you know, they wrote the bleedin’ songs. They deserve it. You know what I mean? But can they do this? (blows notes a bit haphazardly up and down harmonica)

Mr. Shovel: Well, that’s what makes it special.

Steve: Exactly. (picks some notes on guitar) Hello. We’re monkeys in a cage right now Mr. Shovel. There’s a big load of people outside staring at us. (treats us to a few more notes) It’s better. I don’t think…it smells like, like damp bread or something. (sniffs yet again) That’s what it smells like. Like wet bread?

Mr. Shovel: It’s the yeast.

Steve: Yeahh. (keeps inhaling the essence of the aromatically challenged musical device) Maybe if I blow harder, I’ll get all that white stuff out of it.

Mr. Shovel: You see how I just let that one fly right by?

Steve: (stops blowing momentarily) You shouldn’t have brought attention to it. Now you’re making everyone think. (starts up again, laughing as he goes) See? It’s happy now. (embarks upon an impromptu Pontiff instrumental harmonica and guitar composition, of a slightly melancholy variety) That was a little song I’ve written for a camp fire out in the outback of uh…Texas. (our host has slipped into a southwestern cowboy accent for this bit of storytelling strumming along with his guitar as he goes)

It was me and Jeffro (Jethro) just sittin’ there, cookin’ some blackeyed peas. Lookin’ up at the moonlight and lookin’ at the Big Dipper and all dem other stars out there in the whole universe. And me and my horsie, uh, what’s my horsie’s name? Trigger, we was just uh, Trigger was over there shakin’ his tail feather, getting’ them flies off of the back of his bum and uh, me and Jeffro we were thinkin’ what it would be like to write a song about y’know, out on the range with the buffalo and herd ‘em up, them cows there and movin’ ‘em to the other side of the…Texas. And what a hard job it is, bein’ a cowpoke. But there ain’t nuffin’ like-a bein’ a cowpoke out on the range. With the blackeyed peas and the sheepskin chaps and all them lovely things that cowboys have to deal with. And y’know there ain’t too many women around when you’re out on the range and you know, one thing leads to another and next thing you know, Jeffro is cowpokin’ ya from behind and all you can do is kind of grin and bear it and say, “Oh, look up there, there’s the Big Dipper. God damn Jeffro, what are you doin’ boy?! GET OFF MY BACK!

And the next thing you know, there’s a little Jeffro. He come out of the back, too. Nine months later. It’s amazing technology nowadays on the range. But I cut him off at the pass and I stopped that. That ain’t happenin’ no more. (harmonica solo)

I think it’s time to play some reggae. I ain’t played a lot of reggae in a lot of time and I – my cows like listenin’ to reggae. It’s somethin’ about the beat and all that punky stuff that goes along inside the reggae rhythms and my cows seem to move along just like I want ‘em to move along from one side of Texas to the other side. So every now and again I play reggae to my cows. The seem to get a kick out of it. Especially with their hooves and their chitlins and all that kind of stuff and blackeye peas and baked beans…what else do cows eat? Oh they eat grass. I forgot. Smoke it sometimes as well. But they particularly like eating that grass cos I like that cow milk. There ain’t nuffin’ like it. Let’s play a song, Mr. Shovel.

Steppin' up? Git along you old dogies.

Joint Tina is and Chris was production.

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