Tuesday, April 11, 2006

A bit with Richard Butler from April 6, 2006

Welcome backski to chriswasanon - fresh from frenzied posting over at Jack's shack. So Stevie babes aside from having one of his guitars up for sale on eBay has got a bit of geomancy going on. As is often the case with eBay here, today, gone tomorrow. Scrub that ooooh I found it. Off white Les Paul Gibson. Bookmark watch this item and do it often I suppose. Enough eBay. I saw this advert for Australian lager on Brit telly, you may've seen it. This geezer gets one of these feng shui consultants in and there follows a 15 second blur of stuff being put in and stuff being put out. Mirrors, chairs, large stones, interesting window frames. Until the customer's pad is completely empty. Empty save of 3 items:

A bog.
a fridge stuffed full of Amber nectar BEER cobber
and a telly tuned to a sports channel.

Interior design then. Well is it pronounced FUNG SHWAY or FENG SHOOEY and does our Steve, your Steve everybody's Steve have a relationship area set aside where 2 beings can harmonise and eat brown rice from four chopsticks within the sight of an Eastern waterfall? I do make this up as I go along you know and you CAN tell can't you? Without further worry of whether we need more sand or water or a way to unblock the natural dragon lines energy bottleneck on the meridian point of the astral doorstep...let us set forth. Richard Butler was in da house...and the following convo was extractified.

Tina here. Here's a little something from last week.

Wot, was you awaiting the hot tub bit instead? Oy, please don't make me...

3555 Chriswasanon says: Hold up a minute Tina. Hot tub?, ooh yes we want the hot tub. More salacious, vulgar and downright low, never mind the furniture department or psychopathic male heir obssessed Tudor kings. Ok. carri-on."

....Meanwhile, we join this discussion in progress as Steve brings up feng shui.

Tina IS at the controls.

Steve: I’m a Virgo, you know. Supposedly, they’re tidy.

Richard: (laughing) Oh, you believe all that stuff, do you? You’ve been in L.A. too long, mate.

Steve: (L.A. accent, a la “The Dude” Lebowski) Hey, man…c’mon, man. (back to normal) But, the point is, I think there is some truth in it. The Chinese have been doing it for…God knows, two thousand years. That’s a long time. Henry the Eighth was only five hundred years ago. So, two thousand years ago and…

Richard: Two thousand years of feng shui. Where’s it gone, really? (laughs)

Steve: Actually, actually China are doing better than anywhere. They’re the ones holding the bleedin’ keys, mate. You wait and see. You wait and see, mate. It’s the feng shui. (Richard is belly-laughing) I’m getting on their side now. But it’s true. Before that, all it was, was like, paint this wall red, and this one gold and put a little fountain there and blahblahblah. Not a lot, you know, just little stuff. This bird from Hawaii came over and said, “This is what you need to do.” And it didn’t cost much to do it. And then, um, about three weeks later, I started doing this radio show. My health started getting better. Before that, I was just losing money, left and right. It was the weirdest thing…

Richard: And you got a little fountain.

Steve: I got a fountain, put it in the right place. When the bird walked in there, she said, “ the pool’s on the wrong side of the house.” I said, “well that ain’t gonna change.” But what you do is, is you put these mirrors up so your reflection of the mirrors make it look like the pool is over here. It’s all weird stuff.

Richard: Move your bedroom to the other end of the house.

Steve: No, the bedroom was fine, she said, “just don’t sleep in it.” (both laugh) So you don’t believe in anything like that? Any stuff like that?

Richard: I’m pretty skeptical about all that…

Steve: About anything that you don’t…you can’t see?

Richard: Pretty much, yeah. Yeah. I tend to be like that. My dad was like that, it’s sort of ground into me. He was like, this communist atheist sort of character.

Steve: Was he?

Richard: Yeah, yeah.

Steve: In, in Surrey.

Richard: Back in Surrey, yeah. (laughs)

Steve: Hmmm. Yeah but my, my parents were the same but I think, I don’t know. I’m always like, to search for something else. I’ll give everything a shot, anyway.

Richard: Are you religious?

Steve: No.

Richard: So you haven’t gone Buddhist along with the feng shui.

Steve: No, no. I don’t like Buddhists. I hate them. Horrible sods. (both laugh) No, actually, if there was any religion, I think I’d go with the ol’ Buddhism. At least they’re peaceful. You know, there’s no agenda there, like most other religions. It seems like that, anyway. You know. So you are an atheist communist?

Richard: (laughing) Atheist communist? No, no. Politically, I don’t know where the hell I am but I’m…yeah, I’m an atheist.

Steve: C of E? C of E.

Richard: No, atheist.

Steve: Church of England atheist. (sings) I’m Henry the Eighth I am. I was just talking about him the other day, Henry the Eighth. That whole thing, cos everyone was Catholic in England at the time, right? And because he wanted to get his end away with another bird, he changed the religion to C of E. Did you know that?

Richard: No, I didn’t.

Steve: Yeah, that’s how that all started. Very interesting.

Richard: He’s got a lot to answer for, really.

Steve: He was a swine.

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