Tuesday, July 11, 2006

From July 10, 2006

Welcome back to chriswasanon! So was that a nun popular result - keep up there! Well I had fun, settled down with a few bottles of Grolsch and some kippers and tatties and enjoyed myself. Like Steve I'm sorry it is all over :-( but them Euro's are in 2 years. I don't think the teams from these bitterly arctic snow and ice and hail and sleet and horizontal rain battered shores will go far in South Africa. Honestly the way Steve carries on you'd think we lived in Poland, or the Tundra zone or even Zemlya Novobirskibrassmonkey ninety nine below zero on a good day. Let me harp on a bit here (plunk) and state that it's not THAT cold hereabouts, is it? Where are my fingerless gloves?

But when Zin├ędine Zidane - or Zizou to the adulating hordes of Les Bleus supporters stuck the heid on that Matarrazi player - I could only sit and gawp, mouth open, eyes wide, hail of beetles cascading out of my hair as I absent mindedly scratched it, agog. The kid from Marseille had been insulted. Speculation remains on a condition def con red level 3 alert achtung rife plateau at the mo. Whilst the rest of his team collected runners-up medals, Zizou was skulking in the dressing room. Now FIFA are talking of stripping him of his award. Coh! That sucks.

Now what is the nature of this speculation? Was Zidane called the spawn of an Algerian terrorist? The son of a whore? Perhaps Matarazzi said that his, "...mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries." Steve has a few ideas. Invective when skillfully applied is an art, did you know that? The people of the gifts in old Irish Society knew that their satirists and poets were able to raise boils and blemishes with CURSES and insults. Kiss of death are bodily sores - if you are an old Irish Societist. Quite simply you just could not be in the "in crowd" disfigured with nasty boils. They wouldn't have you. Ah what a fucking rotter! Still there we are, that's another FIFA World Cup done and dusteroonied.

The Myspace www.myspace.com/sexjones Steve avatar profile news. It's blue plaque time, that famous ransom lettering Sex Pistols logo gets the heritage treatment. When it says, "unplugged," it's not like a Nirvana MTV acoustic music set, it means literally the band's instruments were unplugged...after about three songs or something. You can read more here But you know all that or you would not be lurking on our alternative juke box jive blog
-------> A <-------- ...where we celebrate the shennanigans of Steve Jones and Mark Shovel and any assorted guests on that memorable radio show "Jonesy's jukebox" part of Indie 103.1. Plus I get to blather on inconsequentially about anything and everything. Keep coming back! CwA.

Ying tong
ying tong
ying tong
ying tong
ying tong
iddle i po

Tina IS at the controls!

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031. It’s three minutes after twelve bells and it’s about eighty-odd, somewhere in the eighties, as usual. Lovely. Bit knackered this morning, but I’m not complaining. Got a lot of sun yesterday. World Cup was Saturday, it’s all over, alas. Maybe that’s what it is, little bit of tired from no more World Cup. Really enjoyed it. Thoroughly enjoyed it. I wish it was every two years, not four years. I guess that’s what makes it even special. The Olympics, how many times…is that every four years?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. But they alternate winter and summer, so it’s every two years.

Steve: Ah, see? See, I know what I’m talking about, then. So it should be every two years. In November. That way, European teams like England will have a better chance cos it’ll be cold, and they play better in the cold…in Scotland and Ireland and, you know, all the cold-climate countries. Evens it out a little bit. You know what I mean?

Mr. Shovel: Are you saying that’s why Italy won?

Steve: Italy? I was glad Italy won. I was, I was rooting for Italy. One is: I had a bet on it for fifty bucks from some French bloke, which he’s gone missing all of a sudden for some reason. Two is: I like the Italians, I support any country that has naps, siestas…

Mr. Shovel: (laughs)

Steve: …and I like their faces. I like them romantic faces on ze Italians. Stylish men. Um, that was a funny ol’ move by ol’ Zidane, though.

Mr. Shovel: It was really bizarre.

Steve: Zidane Vicious. What a way to go out. I mean, he really steamed into that bloke’s chest, too. I’d just love to know what he said to him. I would love to know what triggered him. I think he was frustrated as well.

Mr. Shovel: Well, Rooney did the same thing. With all that at stake, knowing what the consequences would be, couldn’t not do it.

Steve: Yeah, but it’s easy to say that, when you’re sitting at home, watching the TV, why people do this and why people do that. But can you imagine being in that situation? Millions, billion people watching ya. The atmosphere, the pressure of knowing you’re in the final, or the quarter final. We don’t even know it’s like, we can’t even imagine, you know what I mean? So you don’t know why people react in a certain way. Obviously Rooney’s got a hot head, that’s known. But Zidane, that’s not known in his character as far as I know, to be like…to do weird things like that like, go off the end…I’d love to know what he said. He probably said, “Nice haircut” or something to Zidane. Or, “I’m wearing you Mom’s knickers” or something like that.

Can’t imagine what he said. But anyway, I was pleased for the Itides (sp? Help, Chris!). We’re gonna do animals today. I’ve left the…oh, I know one thing I wanted to say. When was the last time you ever used a phone book for addresses?

Mr. Shovel: That’s a good question, Steve.

Steve: Hundred years ago? Does anyone use phone books anymore?

Mr. Shovel: I think, if you’re looking up a service, sometimes it helps.

Steve: I don’t think anyone uses them and yet they continue to send them to your house. Imagine how many trees that costs? All them phone books that no one uses? See, if I was the Governor, the would be the first thing to be axed. Phone books. Waste of wood. At least put it into like, houses. Make them, make the wood cheaper. I don’t think it’s recycled paper, either. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. Not going to do body parts today. Going to do animals. Going to talk to the animals. Sing to the animals. But first, a couple of songs for the Itides (?) cos they were the winners, they get a couple of songs, winners of the World Cup. And one for the bad-losing French after that and then we’ll start with the animals. So here ya go. Congratulations, Itides. I thought you did a good job. Take it away…

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