Tuesday, November 07, 2006

From November 6. 2006 Dingle

It was so good to hear the sweet, dulcet, knowing, sometimes naughty-snidey tones of this man on The Box today. The prospect of a forevermore Shovelless Box was very unsettling. Next time it would help if you mention on-air that it's only temporary so's to reassure folks.

Yes indeed Tina. Well glad that one was sorted. 12 bells today unless something untoward happens Lee Scratch "Seven devils dead," Perry will be with the man who can. Can't wait, technical considerations aside, I should be able to listen to it somehow. Something untoward has happened!!! So scratch or strikethrough that, Stuart's blog informs me that I have to take ADAM ANT'S physical advice 12 bells today 8. pm. UK time 9. pm CET 11 pm former soviet socialist time, that's enough time zones. You'd "better listen to Marco." That's Marco Pirroni and the Wolfmen 12 bells today Jonesy's Jukebox on Indie 103.1 . CwA

I'm liking this little surviving patch of yellowness so I'll just stand here for a while. (T)

As you can tell neither of us are html coders we just wing it - see if I can fix this doohickey. Ohh pink, always liked that colour - it's so manly that color, so manly! Can I just but in here and say still to come/ Faslane 365, then the biggest bodhran you have ever seen in ye hale life and finally not appearing soon, Moroccan holiday snaps. CwA

TINA IS at the controls!

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031. It’s three minutes after twelve bells, the sixth of November and it was, when I pulled into the garage about twenty minutes ago, it was eighty-two degrees. It’s probably warmer now. Beautiful. Beautiful summer day. I am not complaining. Even though someone has probably got some reason. I’m not going to say it’s the end of the world because I’m just enjoying meself. I’m making the most…if it is the end of the world, so be it. Today’s a great day to…

Mr. Shovel: At least we’ll have good weather for the end of the world.

Steve: Exactly. You do realize, just like every person dies, the world’s got to end, at some point.

Mr. Shovel: You mean the actual planet will be gone?

Steve: Yeah, well you know, it’ll be…well maybe not the planet but you never know. It came here, out of somewhere…it didn’t just appear, did it? It is made from mass molecules and whatever it started, so there’s got to be an end. Nothing goes on forever, you know what I mean? Probably not in our life time will the planet fall off it’s axis and just…disintegrate with heat…I doubt that’s going to happen.

Mr. Shovel: Probably not.

Steve: Cos it is a big gaff, the planet.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, it’s a hell of a large gaff. And it managed to outlive pretty much…every species on the planet might be gone but the planet itself is gonna stick around.

Steve: Right. The species are nothing.

Mr. Shovel: Right. And we’re a species.

Steve: Right. We’re a species. We’re pieces of speece. My sty’s going. I put some gold in it. Someone told me, a few people told me that if you put gold on it, it goes away – and it’s going away.

Mr. Shovel: And luckily you already had some.

Steve: Yeah, I had the perfect bit. It almost looks like one of them you know, what the Germans put in their eye?

Mr. Shovel: Monacle.

Steve: A monacle. It almost fit in there like a monacle, it’s great. Just left it in there, watched TV with one eye closed and it started going. It’s funny. It has many powers, gold. It’s not just a…what’s the word?

Mr. Shovel: Expensive?

Steve: A symbol of wealth, gold. It has purpose. Excellent. So if anyone’s got a sty and they want a…I’ll rent my gold out to them to get rid of their sty. Maybe I can help you out. Or if you’re a hot bird, maybe we can figure out some other way of payment. Coming ta gitcha. Oh, um Chelsea, my team lost Sunday. They played Tottenham and lost 2-1, the first time in years. I actually put some money on it, too. I’ve gotta pay up. A hundred bucks to someone, to two individual people, fifty bucks each. I’m so disappointed. Ooh, it was a dreadful game. It actually weren’t a bad game, if I be honest with myself. It’s just that we lost. (sighs) Got a busy week this week. Got a lot of punters coming on this week. Got Marco from Adam and The Ants coming on tomorrow, he’s got his new band, Wolfmother…not Wolfmother, um, Wolfmen. Wolfmen. (belch) Pardon. They’re coming on The Box tomorrow. Wednesday, we got Republic Of Loose, maybe Ian McLagen Wednesday, too. Maybe Thursday got Noel Gallagher.

Mr. Shovel: That punter.

Steve: Maybe. Yeah, it’s a busy week. What else. What else is happening? What am I going to play today? I’m going to play some kind of Sixties semi-obscure, some of it you might know and then in the second hour I’m going to play some new bands, rock, old rock…the usual stuff. But um, got any ideas for songs? Do I need to sing a song?

Mr. Shovel: You don’t have to.

Steve: I was so exhausted Friday. I think that’s why I got the sty. I get invited to go to everything and I didn’t go to anything. If I go out, it throws me off. I’m knackered the next day if I go out at night to some function or whatever.

Mr. Shovel: There’s also the part about scratching your bum and then rubbing your eye. That doesn’t help.

Steve: No definitely not. Definitely not. Especially other people’s fingers on their bum to your eye is not happening. That’s the worst.

Mr. Shovel: Shaking hands with people who…

Steve: Who’ve just been playing with themselves, yeah…it’s out of order. Well out of order. That’s why I don’t shake hands now, I just do that fist thing, that homey fist thing. Chrissy Hynde don’t shake people’s hands at all. I dunno if she still does that. There’s definitely germs transmitted through hands. Hands to eyes, asses to hands to hands to eyes…

Your hands touching mine
Your hands from to my behind
I don’t need it
Stys to eyes to asses and back
Stys to asses and back

Stay away from my eyes
Wash your hands
Clean your hands after you’ve been
Picking your dingleberries

And then you have the cheek to want to
Shake my hand
After you’ve been picking, picking your ass

Mr. Dingleberry you must use the toilet paper
You do understand
It’s very unhygienic to shake someone’s hand
After the dingleberries have been touched
By your hands

Mr. Shovel: I’m kinda sorry I brought it up.

Steve: (continues singing)

Clean, clean your hands after
You’ve picked your dingleberries
I don’t want to get any stys again
The stys are in your eyes

You’ve got starry eyes
With sty eyes from your hands to your….
Starry eyes
I contracted a sty in the eye from
Someone’s hand who touched their
Dingleberries and went straight to my hand
And then I scratched my eye

And a big pink thing showed up on the edge
Near my eyelashes
Please wipe your bodies next time you go
Oh oh oh oh
Mr. Dingleberry

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