Thursday, October 12, 2006

October 11, 2006 - Nerds

Welcome backski to Chriswasanon, the part of the Internet were there is slavery all of the day and all of the night to bring you hot from the transcriptorium, the absolutely best bits of Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 103.1.

So England got gubbed 2-0, so did Scotland. Nuff said.

Correctimundo, Google acquired youtube, perhaps they will sling denierbud off now and his lying revionist movies of the Aktion Reinhard(t) camps. Wouldn’t count on it. What price free speech eh, chums? Oh well that’s enough fibbing delusional nazis for the moment. Yep and myspace was undersold too. This is the current news on that breaking story…

“ judge has dismissed MySpace founder Brad Greenspan's claims that the sale price of the social networking site to News Corporation was too low. Greenspan said he will appeal.

Greenspan founded MySpace and is a former chief executive of its parent company Intermix. He filed a suit in February claiming that News Corp's $580m purchase of Intermix did not value the business highly enough, claiming that the company's officers acted out of a desire for personal gain above the interests of the shareholders.

Superior Court judge Carolyn Kuhl dismissed Greenspan's claims, saying that the acquisition was legal and the decision taken by Intermix board members was legitimately taken, according to Fox Interactive, the division of News Corp which looks after MySpace.

"News Corporation and Fox Interactive Media feel vindicated by Judge Kuhl's ruling," said Mike Angus, Fox Interactive Media's general counsel in a statement.

Last week Greenspan published a demand that an investigation be conducted into the sale by the US financial regulator the Securities and Exchange Commission, the United States Department of Justice, and the United States Senate Committee on Finance.

"News Corp's valuation has increased by $12bn since the transaction occurred just one year ago, and there are several independent analysts today that agree that MySpace is worth tens of billions of dollars,” Greenspan said in that statement.”

Your source for that gobbet was

If we are going to talk about Nerds, no self-respecting nerd worth his MS-DOS 4 command line is without the register. There is a US. version too. I reads el reg often. But I ain’t about to phish Steve for his credit card number, or anybody elses for that matter. The days of mailbombing and my puppet mastery times in front of other peoples’ computers are over.

“Oh dear, I seem to have deleted all your files.”

I’m joking, chriswasanon is and was not ever, a hacker cracker or a computer knacker.

Mr. Bill of Uber Nerdulike software megaliths Micro Mr Softy stale armpit news.

Did you know that 90% of you who use a pooter have a version of his softs on yore machines?, Of course you did do and the rest of you are Macs, or Linux, or Sun or Banzai Nippon corporation. “Gatesy” as we at CwA never call him, was a classic nerd. It is alleged that he was surrounded by pizza boxes and empty coffee cups and existed in a fug of his own armpit juice. From there to Windows Vista, eh? A bit like Moonwatcher in 2001, one minute smashing the skull of his fellow humanoid, the next waltzing around in outer space. By the way that stuff about Mr. Bill is gossip and in no way verifiable.

Bit quieter here today. Domestic Bliss news. My other and better and vastly superior half is not so well, so that means all animal husbandry and plant feeding duties are in my incapable hands.

That’s enough chriswasanon. Lets see what Mz T. has got for you.


Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox. I have breaking news: (we hear an itty bitty little disturbance emerge from his lower gastrointestinal tract which Mr. Shovel thoughtfully augments with reverb effects) Oh, just got the echo barely on that one.

It’s two minutes after twelve bells on a Wednesday and there’s nothing like starting the show with a bit of breaking news. Oh, man. England I think, has gotten beaten, two-nil…World Cup qualifying game. Is it World Cup, or is it European? Losing two-nil. I think it must be all over, it started at ten…yeah so it’s all over. Jesus. Two-nil. Who did we play, I can’t even remember. I was in such a rush this morning. Terrible. Anyway, um, yeah. What is it? It’s about…sixty-eight degrees today. Hold on. Do we have more breaking news? I think so…(we hear another anemic little popping sound)

Just not so “breaking” as the news I like to have. I like it to be more breaking than that.

Mr. Shovel: That was just a little background information.

Steve: Yeah, that was just a little teaser to what’s in store to come on the rest of the show. (His chair can be heard squeaking in the background) You know, we really need to get this oiled.

Mr. Shovel: We have it like that for Halloween.

Steve: (keeps producing a slow, agonizing squeal from the chair) Bringggg out your dead...ghouls…(to Mr. Shovel) put some echo on that…

Mr. Shovel: (puts some echo on that)

Steve: (((bring out your dead! Undead undead. He’s dead, he’s dead. Eeoowww. Halloween…fiendish…eooowww, no garlic…))) All right. That’s enough of that one. What’re we doing, Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: (laughs)

Steve: What am I doing.

What about them guys, the YouTube guys. Did you hear what happened to them?

Mr. Shovel: No.

Steve: They just made a load of money.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah.

Steve: Did you know that?

Mr. Shovel: Um hmm.

Steve: How old are they? Twenty-eight? Thirty, round there? A little Asian bloke and another mate, two nerds – again.

Mr. Shovel: Um hmm.

Steve: The nerds are going to inherit the earth, I think. The geeks and nerds. Forget the cockroaches.

Mr. Shovel: They earned it. Their kids are going to inherit it.

Steve: Forget the cockroaches. Nerds are where it’s at. But it’s all on paper, apparently. One billion…

Mr. Shovel: It’s in stock. In Google stock.

Steve: One point six billion dollars. Two little nerds. The usual scenario. In their garage, using people’s credit cards to get it going. And what’s amazing is that it’s again, nothing they’ve come up with, they’re just providing something.

Mr. Shovel: A server.

Steve: Yeah. Incredible. I’m happy for ‘em. I’m happy for all them people who do something like that. I just wish I had the brains and the technical know-how to do things like that. I’ll never do that because I’m not a computer person. But I’m happy for people who do it. Where do they live? I want to be their friends. I want to surround myself with nerds.

Mr. Shovel: You have to get some before they’re rich, though. Otherwise…

Steve: They’ll know.

Mr. Shovel: …it’s hard to get in…

Steve: They’ll know I’m after their money…
I actually do like nerds. I find them more interesting than people who try to be cool. They always seem straightforward, nerds. You know what I mean? They’re not, they don’t play games.

Mr. Shovel: And you have no idea what’s happening in their basement.

Steve: That’s the point. Maybe I should start a patrol, a nerd patrol…basement and garages and just take credit cards to ‘em saying, “Do you need my credit card? What’re you doing, are you doing something? Here’s me credit card.”

Mr. Shovel: Oh, there’s guys like that, too. They’ll take your credit card.

Steve: Maybe I’ll do that. You have to have a Nerd Certificate, otherwise I’m not giving it to you. (inhales deeply) Ohhhh. One point six billion dollars, YouTube. MySpace. I think I heard MySpace have got the ‘ump and they’re suing Murdoch cos they sold MySpace too cheaply, like six hundred million dollars.

Mr. Shovel: They got the ‘ump.

Steve: They’ve go the ‘ump. Cos now, because of these other two little nerds got one point six, the Myspace nerds think that they sold themselves too cheaply and I think they’re suing. So what does that mean if it’s in stock, that means they can sell that stock though, right?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, I’m not sure when, though.

Steve: Yeah?

Mr. Shovel: Not sure how long?

Steve: So there’s still a chance to be their pals then, before they actually make money.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, but you know…it’s like making friends with a guy who just won the lottery before he cashes in his ticket.

Steve: Right, right, right.

Mr. Shovel: I think he’s probably busy. Too busy for you.

Steve: Um, where are they from, these cats?

Mr. Shovel: I don’t know.

Steve: Are they from…ah…Nerdomi? Is that near Ojai?

Mr. Shovel: (laughs)

Steve: (plays guitar and sings)

You nerds you will inherit the earth
with your knowledge with computers
and a lot of other things
that have a lot of buttons

Nerds and geeks you will inherit the earth
with your know-how
With your gigabytes and memory banks
you are the New Age for making lolly
Lots of lovely lolly

Oh nerds you are full of information yeah
where do you come from
Why do you all wear glasses
Is it because you’re looking at computer screens
all day long

Oh oh geeks versus the nerds
Who would win if they fought each other
or does it mean the same thing
Nerds geeks and nerds and
geeks and nerds

Why do you have your trousers so high
almost touching your nipples

and your buttons done up to the top
and pencils everywhere
Everywhere there’s a pencil and pens

Geeks and nerds
Pens and pencils
and trousers pulled up to your chests
and shoes oh

Or am I just talking about
the stereotypical nerds like the ones
in the silly movies
I wish I had your knowledge of computers

Yes yes yes yes yes.

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