From May 3 - A Dirge!

Welcome back to chriswasanon! On a battleship grey - you know the kind of grey? It's the kind that that once whiter than white things become after repeated washing. Yep, that kind of a grey.

Last night the swallows were soaring high above us - usually an indication of good weather but today seems to be a change. Nay Sirrah and thrice nay say gainer nay not again Arbuthnot!

I know now that our Steve definitely suffers from SAD. Which is a seasonally afflicted disorder. Not enough Sun, not enough Sol. Chan eil Grianach ann. The sun is not shining. Zo in zees such cases ve often find that the lack is helped by ein upbeat colour therapy shade here I zink to put zer smile back.

Fizzogverkaufenzeinenschnitzelgruberwerkzeug. Ja? That was a made-up German compound noun. Any German speaker will probably find it unfunny. Mo Chreach's a' thainig, must dash got plants to water...That means my plunder has come, which is sort of a bad thing.

So Tina has done it again but before she does, what was the deal with Tuesday show's - no Steve and low murmours of discontentitude were to be heard over at chriswasanon towers. Well never mind - those posters will be coming soon. Ach cheer up, the world IS in a mess but worrying about it won't change things. Use recycled toilet paper and environment friendly washing powders, we do! and something called Eco bollocks, oops I mean Eco balls.

They really work - well sort of. I reckon listening to the birds and counting ones blessings does help too. But I am a ludicrous optimistic type. And NEVER play DOOM. At least not on Nightmare level anyway.




ID. Software's DOOM originally released in 1993 changed the shape of first person shoot 'em ups! Don't play it not NEVER :-) We're doomed laddie, doomed etc.

ARSE NEWS.

Still none I'm afraid - feel free to send in either:

a) Your arse.

or

b) Your news.

or

c) An imaginative combination of both.

Breathe in, breathe out
find that
still quiet
centre er center
of yore being.

Consider the lillies
and the dandelions
and shun
the frumious bandersnatch.

That was the dazzling DAZ SURF Cosmic mood lifting soap powder vista from the chriswasanon.

Tina IS at the controls!

Steve: You are listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031. Five after twelve bells on a very gray Wednesday. If it was any grayer, it would be dark. It would be nighttime. So depressing…help me get out of it. (strums his guitar through this whole monologue) I don’t want any more. I didn’t move here for this, to sunny Southern California.

(to Mr. Shovel) You hear this depressing chord? That is the sound of what it looks like outside right now. (slowly plays chord on his Yamaha 12-string which has that harpischordy-kind of sound)

Mr. Shovel: Looks like the Renaissance festival out there?

Steve: How dare you defile.

(sings, it’s somber and slow)

The end is near
Bring out your dead
There’s not long left to go
The sun has gone to another galaxy
There Is no light anymore

The moon is the only light you will see
At the end of the day
Hell will descend upon you
In every part of the globe
For we have defied the laws of gravity
We have raped and pillaged ole Mother Earth

The sun got the ump and took a bus
To the black hole of Gunga Din
There is no more light
Only evil
Why do we never learn

There’s no more chances
We’ve run out of options
We have bamboozled the light
We have confused and distorted and maimed
The creatures of the universe
Oh why oh why oh why do we never learn

(audio courtesy of Mr. Shovel) : “My life fades. The vision dims. All that remains are memories. I remember a time of chaos, ruined dreams, this wasted land…but most of all, I remember the Road Warrior.”

Joint Floratinabella chriswasanon, JC. Charles Dodgson for the people.