Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Transcript from March 28, 2006

Welcome back to CwA the aLterNATive jukebox jive blog, always about Steve. Our guitar hero. Also this a blog too for the members of CwA blog to rail and rant like today when I'm gonna get out of me pram for a bit and sound off. Tell all your friends about the cWa and bookmark us, do!

This here post is I reckon pressing and pertinent cos the health freaks of the world have caught up in Bonnie Scotland and passed laws which went in on Sunday 26th April 2006 wot sayeth anent tobacco we are no longer allowed to smoke in public places. Boozers without baccy? Cos basically non-smokers now out number smokers I guess.

There are currently lots of pub ashtrays available for free if one asks, " naicely"

How long before they get whacked up on ebay, eh? My other half is loving it - I think its all rainbow nazism myself but then I would wouldn't I? Don't bother posting comments about how pleasant non smokers are or how selfish I am or how a loved one died of cancer etc and how polluting fags are and how lovely it all is in your neck of the lager since fags have been elbowed out cos I won't publish 'em! Probly...Tina can if she wishes. Slightly uncompromising mode \off.

This interview was broadcast on Indie 103.1 and in the LA. and OC. area and over the Internet on 20.3.06

Tina is at the controls.

Steve: You are listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031 on a very, very rainy Southern California day. Two minutes after twelve bells, it’s about sixty-something degrees Fahrenheit. That’s about, Celsius, that’s about eighteen? Fifteen? Something like that if my Celsius metabonacle is working. I think that’s what it says. Um, but I’ll tell you what’s funny, after my rain song yesterday…not my rain song, but my…anti-bulldozer song? No bulldozer this morning. You know why? ‘cause it’s raining! I laughed, I chuckled this morning, even though I was up at seven. I got a giggle out of that. See? See the powers that I have?
Is it clear now, Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: It’s amazing, Steve.

Steve: See, the powers.

Mr. Shovel: It’s good to see that, for the first time ever, the rain is actually having a positive effect on you.

Steve: Yes. I actually…I found myself whistling this morning – in the rain! Not singing, whistling in the rain. Like maybe just ‘cause I didn’t get the (imitates sound of bulldozer backing up). It was great. Oh, no. (laughs) It was great, it made me laugh. See, me, spoke to the other gods and uh, they answered me. See, us gods, we do each other’s favors, you know what I mean, now and again? Like, “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch your back” kind of thing.

Mr. Shovel: You ought to work on some bigger things, then.

Steve: Yeah, well you know, there’s big and small things in the world. Everyone needs attention. It’s not just the big things, you know. Take care of the little things. The big things’ll, whatever…fall into place. Yep, yep, yep. I’m there to do favors for other gods. They know my number. Did you know, Mr. Shovel, now I hope I’m not talking out my, uh, batty, but um, I heard that in Calabasas, it’s illegal to smoke out on the street. I believe. Do you just want to get on the ole internet?

Mr. Shovel: Our boss, I think, you know…there’s people who work here that live up there. We’ll find out.

Steve: I believe that’s…I might be completely nonsense, but I was with these people last week and they was telling me it’s illegal. It’s the only state in the country…

Mr. Shovel: I’m guessing it’s because of the fire risk.

Steve: Yeah, maybe, or maybe they’re using that as an excuse to test. You know, California, they’re not up to smoking. You know, they’re slowly, “can’t smoke in this bar” “You can’t smoke in this restaurant”…you can’t do this, you can’t do that. Maybe it’s uh, it’s fine with me, let me tell ya. Since I’ve (not) been smoking, I’d ban smoking, I’d make it illegal in the whole world, ‘cause it suits me, you know what I mean. I don’t care about smokers. When I was smoking, it was a different story. But uh…wouldn’t that be weird? You can’t smoke on the street in Calabasas.

Mr. Shovel: What about the sidewalk?

Steve: Well, that’s what I mean. That’s, that’s the street, innit? Parking lots, whatever.

Mr. Shovel: They had some pretty bad fires up there.

Steve: Yeah. But were they started by smokers?

Mr. Shovel: I’ll bet they were.

Steve: Or some lunatic who felt like…

Mr. Shovel: Maybe it was a lunatic who smoked?

Steve: Yeah. Maybe there’s a song in there. Would you help me write one? (strums guitar) Does that sound out-of-tune to you?

Mr. Shovel: Yes.

Steve: What do you know? Oh, it is a little bit. (starts to tune it) A…A…that’s what I can’t figure out, is why the strings get tighter. You’d think they’d get looser, wouldn’t you, unless someone’s been playing my bleedin’ guitar. (finishes tuning) Is that better?

Mr. Shovel: Yes.

Steve: I didn’t touch a thing, you know that? I was testing you Shovel.

Mr. Shovel: You’re lying. I saw you.

Steve: I didn’t touch a thing. See, you don’t know. Called your bluff, there. Okay. What should I write a song about? (blows into harmonica) Got any ideas?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, no smoking in Calabasas.

Steve: All right! Um, I like them chords I played yesterday. What’s that Eddie Money song, (sings) “when you hold onto me…” ? (strums the chords) That’s it, innit?

There’s no smoke without fire
There’s no lightning without wire
I, I believe
that you don’t need me

Excuse me, Mister
can you put out your cigarette
There’s a new law in Calabassass
Put out your butts on the sidewalk
because we don’t want your type here anymore

Excuse me, there’s no toilets allowed in Calabasas
We’ve banned toilets
You’ve got to go to the next state - Malibu
We have banned all kinds of plumbing

There’s a new law in Calabassass
We’ve banned eating in public places
There’s a new law in Calabassass
you can’t breathe here
we made it illegal

What are we gonna
we gonna do now
But wait, you can’t even kill yourself
‘cause that’s illegal, too

(harmonica solo)

Time takes a cigarette
You put one in your mouth
But not in Calabassass

Time takes a cigarette
Not in Calabassass
You ain’t got a chance
No no

I’m bored with this…

Joint Tina and chriswasanon production steppin' up Chrissie Hynde part 2.

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