August 28 Think Nothing Of It

Mr. Shovel: We had a booth set up outside of Best Buy at La Brea and Santa Monica…

Steve: Yeah?

Mr. Shovel: …and apparently a couple of um…the working lady-men came up, looking for you.

Steve: Working lady-men?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. At Santa Monica and La Brea.

Steve: People who worked in Best Buy?

Mr. Shovel: No. The Transvestites.

Steve: (curious) Really?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. Big fans.

Steve: (does that sort of ‘stinging’ sound on the guitar and says all sly-like) Comin’ to get ya, ladies and gentlemans. I wish I could do this a little faster, make me sound more professional. Oh, I got rigor mortis in my big finger. Comin’ ta gitcha, lady-man. See if my harp works (blows on harmonica, starts a blues riff on guitar and sings)

I’m standing on the corner
Sunset and La Brea
I’ve got my high heels on
With my Adam’s apple

I got some stockings and money too
I wanna getcha
Wanna have a look atchoo
Because I’m a

Mancheefrill Man
and my middle name is Sweetie Pie
I’m looking for some Johnnies
To make some money
To get my next bit of…surgery

Do I want ass implants?
Or some knockers, too?
My calves are looking a little small
Maybe I’ll get them, too

Maybe I’ll get a new facelift
With some implants in my cheeks
I gotta do a lotta sucking baby
To get what I need cos I’m a

Mancheefrill Man
You know what I mean
I’m the Mancheefrill Man
You can always find me
On Sunset and Vine or
La Brea or somewhere down in that neck of the wood

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

(this, after the first set of songs)

Steve: …and then we had Kevin Ayers before that and that song was called, “Didn’t Feel Lonely ‘til I Thought Of You”. What a great line that is. Well, don’t think of ‘em then. You won’t be lonely. Go to a hypnotist to not think about people.

You’re getting deeper. You’re going deeper, you’re getting sleepy. You’re getting sleepy…five, four, three, two, one. You are out.
You will not think of anybody.
You will not think of anything, actually.
You will actually just not think.
And we are coming out…five, four…when I (snap) my fingers you will have your eyes wide open…three, two, one.

See, I do hypnotism en masse, people…not one-on-one. Have you ever tried not thinking of anything?

Mr. Shovel: Hhhuh?

Steve: (laughs) That’ll be three hundred dollars, Mr. Shovel.

Mr. Shovel: Hhhuuh?

Steve: Have you ever thought of not-thinking? (cracks himself up with this thought, muses on it further) “Have you ever thought of not-thinking” (keeps laughing as he thinks about it some more). It’s impossible not to think, you know that? Try not thinking: rrriiiight...now.

Mr. Shovel: Some people have an easier time with it.

Steve: Go on, then. Try and think of not thinking. Your brain is always doing something.

Mr. Shovel: That’s zen.

Steve: Hold on, hold on a sec. I’m just going to test meself. (pause) Yeah, I’m thinking of me listening to me silence. (another pause) It’s amazing. You can not turn your brain off.

Mr. Shovel: I can, definitely.

Steve: Yeah? I’m working on it. You know, I’m on that plane that’s kind of…it’s blurry when I work on not-thinking, it kind of blurs it out but it’s still there underneath. It’s not like completely not-thinking.

Mr. Shovel: Like, don’t think of…green elephants.

Steve: Okay.

(pause)

Mr. Shovel: (commanding) Don’t think of green elephants!

Steve: I did it. I wasn’t. I wasn’t thinking of green elephants. I was thinking of transvesticism, actually. I have many fans in all the areas, Mr. Shovel. I range from you know, homophobic people to transvestites. I go the whole gamut. I don’t care. I love everybody. If you’re a fan of The Box, I’m a fan of you. I understand your need for differences so it’s all good. There is no religion, it’s all hogwash. Just believe in yourself and be nice to other people. Do the right thing. It’s as simple as that. Forget Ali Baba and the Jesus and Christian and all the other hogwash. It’s not necessary. Lead yourself, don’t follow others. That’s my two-penneth of today, brought to you by Helio.