Steve: (starts off playing “No Future” on guitar and harmonica) I’m getting pretty good on the ole thing, ain’t I? See - natural. You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox, Indie 1031, two minutes after twelve bells. It’s getting close, if not seventy degrees. It is the Thirteenth of November and it’s gorgeous out and it’s been gorgeous all weekend, had a great weekend. Had a good game of football yesterday, we won like, 5-1, I think it was. Got a big game tonight, semi-final. Very good. Can’t wait for that.
Um, what would you do, Mr. Shovel, if there was a place you could go, you go in a room, close a door behind you so no one can hear you and if you wished to know the information, would you do it…and the information is: when you’re going to die, what date. Would you go in there and find that out or would you not go in there.
Mr. Shovel: I’d put off as long as possible.
Steve: Yeah? Wouldn’t you be curious, though…when you were going to die, what day, what year, what month you were going to die? If for some reason they, these people knew when that date was going to be…
Mr. Shovel: I don’t think I’d want to know, would you?
Steve: I don’t know. I think it would drive me nuts, the curiosity, knowing there’s a place around the corner I could go and find that out. I guess it all depends on your mood at the time…like something horrible happened (and) you’re like, “I’m gonna go in there and find out, now”.
Mr. Shovel: See, once you know, you know. But see, you can put it off as many days as possible and then change your mind but once you know, you can’t change your mind.
Steve: Yeah, exactly.
Do you think most people would want to know that information?
Mr. Shovel: I don’t think so.
Steve: People go to…psy…what do they call them? You know…
Mr. Shovel: Psychics?
Steve: Yeah. They tell you the future. A lot of people do that otherwise they wouldn’t be in business. Like, proper ones, I don’t mean them jokers on the street with them silly little shops and they’re all in the back there. I mean like, proper clairvoyants, whatever you want to call them. People go to them.
Mr. Shovel: I do wonder, though, what will be the cause.
Steve: Yeah. Well, obviously they could tell you that if they knew what day you were going to die, I’m sure they would know what you’re going to die of. So, if you knew that, you could avoid it. I wonder if you could avoid it.
Mr. Shovel: See, that’s why I think you could change your destiny.
Steve: So you would go and find out then.
Mr. Shovel: Maybe I would. But see this might be a good movie because, I’m copyrighting it right now, by the way – because if you did know and you could change your destiny, could you really change your destiny?
Steve: Yeah, yeah. It’s interesting. It’s interesting to me…more, what’s interesting to me is what more people would do. Would they go and find out or not? I guess…yeah…I guess not knowing would be the way to go. Maybe if you had like, they say, “Oh, seventy years from now is when you’re going to die.” Then you’d be happy, wouldn’t you?
Mr. Shovel: Um hmm.
Steve: You know what I mean? As opposed to…
Mr. Shovel: Would you want to know?
Steve: Uh, well I think you could relax a lot more if they told you, “Yeah, you’ve got another sixty years to go”.
Mr. Shovel: I’d start counting the days.
Steve: Really? But you’d be so old, then. It wouldn’t matter.
Mr. Shovel: That’s true.
Steve: You’d think, “Oh, good, good…I’m happy, I’ll take that…I’ll buy that.” But what they might not tell you is – you’re going to have no legs in two weeks, but you’re going to live to another seventy years. See, that could happen.
Mr. Shovel: There’s always a catch.
Steve: That could happen, though. They didn’t say that, they just said, “You’re going to live another seventy years. But next week, be careful cos the pendulum is going to come down and chop your legs off, but you’ll still live”. See, I don’t know if I’d want to live if I was in half. It’d be a drag. Or “You’re going to lose your eyesight” or something.
Mr. Shovel: You ought to write movies because there’s nothing about this that has anything to do with reality…
Steve: Exactly. But it boggles your mind, though. It makes you think, dunnit?
Mr. Shovel: You been smoking pot?
Steve: No, I ain’t. I haven’t. The gardener did put some stuff on the grass, though.