August 29 2006 Got The Greens

I Got The Greens by Steve Jones

This is a song about the blues
Why do people write
Songs about the blues?
It’s always the same
How they’re unhappy

I guess that’s why they call it the blues
I don’t understand what it means
I’m going to start a new form of music
I’ve got the greens

I’ve got the greens
I’m so happy, nothing could be sweeter
Every day’s wonderful
Me old girl’s still with me
I love my life
I love my life

I got the greens
I got the greens
Just won the lottery
Just won the lottery
I can’t be happier today
I just won the lot-ter-y

Hee hee hee hee
I got the greens
I got the greens
I got the greens
I got the greens

(harmonica bit)

Steve: (stops playing) Oh, It’s hard to play it and keep in time and do that at the same time. I’m not dyslexic, or anything, but…I keep losing my rhythm when I’m concentrating on my…

Mr. Shovel: Well, it’s a whole new form of music so you can just invent that it’s okay to be off-time.

Steve: Exactly. (continues with his song)

I got the greens
I got the greens
Everybody’s happy
Because I got the greens

There’s no such thing as a bad mood
When you got the greens

Woke up this morning
Got out of bed
Opened the window, stuck out my head
I saw the sun and the sky
And I said oh mymymy

I got the greens
Got the greens
Everybody happy you know what it means
We got the the greens
We got the greens

I’m so happy
I got the greens oh yeah
You know what this means we got the greens

I walk down the road
I went to my job
I had a better attitude
with my boss

I wanted to say
“Hey Boss, I love my job
can I get a few more hours
cos I love my job”

He says,
“Sure boy, just clock in there
and put in a few more hours”
Ohhhh I got the greens
I got the greens

I love my job
I got the greens
I love my goddamn job
I got the greens
You know what it means
Yeah yeah alright

I got the greens
I got the greens
I got the greens

There’s a girl on the corner
With a short skirt
She’s giving me a wink
And a smile
What does that mean
Does she want my knob
Yeahh I got the greens
Everybody’s happy

August 28 Think Nothing Of It

Mr. Shovel: We had a booth set up outside of Best Buy at La Brea and Santa Monica…

Steve: Yeah?

Mr. Shovel: …and apparently a couple of um…the working lady-men came up, looking for you.

Steve: Working lady-men?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. At Santa Monica and La Brea.

Steve: People who worked in Best Buy?

Mr. Shovel: No. The Transvestites.

Steve: (curious) Really?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. Big fans.

Steve: (does that sort of ‘stinging’ sound on the guitar and says all sly-like) Comin’ to get ya, ladies and gentlemans. I wish I could do this a little faster, make me sound more professional. Oh, I got rigor mortis in my big finger. Comin’ ta gitcha, lady-man. See if my harp works (blows on harmonica, starts a blues riff on guitar and sings)

I’m standing on the corner
Sunset and La Brea
I’ve got my high heels on
With my Adam’s apple

I got some stockings and money too
I wanna getcha
Wanna have a look atchoo
Because I’m a

Mancheefrill Man
and my middle name is Sweetie Pie
I’m looking for some Johnnies
To make some money
To get my next bit of…surgery

Do I want ass implants?
Or some knockers, too?
My calves are looking a little small
Maybe I’ll get them, too

Maybe I’ll get a new facelift
With some implants in my cheeks
I gotta do a lotta sucking baby
To get what I need cos I’m a

Mancheefrill Man
You know what I mean
I’m the Mancheefrill Man
You can always find me
On Sunset and Vine or
La Brea or somewhere down in that neck of the wood

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

(this, after the first set of songs)

Steve: …and then we had Kevin Ayers before that and that song was called, “Didn’t Feel Lonely ‘til I Thought Of You”. What a great line that is. Well, don’t think of ‘em then. You won’t be lonely. Go to a hypnotist to not think about people.

You’re getting deeper. You’re going deeper, you’re getting sleepy. You’re getting sleepy…five, four, three, two, one. You are out.
You will not think of anybody.
You will not think of anything, actually.
You will actually just not think.
And we are coming out…five, four…when I (snap) my fingers you will have your eyes wide open…three, two, one.

See, I do hypnotism en masse, people…not one-on-one. Have you ever tried not thinking of anything?

Mr. Shovel: Hhhuh?

Steve: (laughs) That’ll be three hundred dollars, Mr. Shovel.

Mr. Shovel: Hhhuuh?

Steve: Have you ever thought of not-thinking? (cracks himself up with this thought, muses on it further) “Have you ever thought of not-thinking” (keeps laughing as he thinks about it some more). It’s impossible not to think, you know that? Try not thinking: rrriiiight...now.

Mr. Shovel: Some people have an easier time with it.

Steve: Go on, then. Try and think of not thinking. Your brain is always doing something.

Mr. Shovel: That’s zen.

Steve: Hold on, hold on a sec. I’m just going to test meself. (pause) Yeah, I’m thinking of me listening to me silence. (another pause) It’s amazing. You can not turn your brain off.

Mr. Shovel: I can, definitely.

Steve: Yeah? I’m working on it. You know, I’m on that plane that’s kind of…it’s blurry when I work on not-thinking, it kind of blurs it out but it’s still there underneath. It’s not like completely not-thinking.

Mr. Shovel: Like, don’t think of…green elephants.

Steve: Okay.

(pause)

Mr. Shovel: (commanding) Don’t think of green elephants!

Steve: I did it. I wasn’t. I wasn’t thinking of green elephants. I was thinking of transvesticism, actually. I have many fans in all the areas, Mr. Shovel. I range from you know, homophobic people to transvestites. I go the whole gamut. I don’t care. I love everybody. If you’re a fan of The Box, I’m a fan of you. I understand your need for differences so it’s all good. There is no religion, it’s all hogwash. Just believe in yourself and be nice to other people. Do the right thing. It’s as simple as that. Forget Ali Baba and the Jesus and Christian and all the other hogwash. It’s not necessary. Lead yourself, don’t follow others. That’s my two-penneth of today, brought to you by Helio.

August 24th About Rocks and Twigs and Origins

Steve: Time. Who cares about time? It’s just a number. (starts to play some notes on guitar) I wonder how many hours have been, in the life of the world? Could you get me some reverb on my…? (continues playing) Time had to start somewhere, right?

Mr. Shovel: (pauses, then) Mmnnnn...no.

Steve: Time never ‘started’ anywhere?

Mr. Shovel: No, it could just be a big circle.

Steve: It didn’t all of a sudden go, “boom” and then there was planets…it did, wunnit? The Big Bang, that’s how all the planets started, wunnit?

Mr. Shovel: That doesn’t mean that was the beginning of time.

Steve: It’s a funny question, an interesting question I ask myself.

Mr. Shovel: See, time is an illusion, Steve.

Steve: It could be. (plays a bluesy bit) Yes there’s been a lot of hours, though, in ‘Time’ as-we-don’t-know-it.

Mr. Shovel: Because they didn’t even know how long an hour was back then.

Steve: No. I’m sure people were a lot happier when there was no clocks.

Mr. Shovel: They had metric hours.

Steve: I wonder what the caveman said to his mate, “I’ll see you over that hill,” …at, what? What did he say? “…when the sun is on top of me head, I’ll meet you over there.” “When the sun is straight up in the air.” That’s twelve bells, right? When it’s kind of up top…

Mr. Shovel: So they said, “I’ll see you over there at twelve bells.”

Steve: “I’ll see you over there at sun-on-me-head. One minute past sun-on-me-head.” Cos when it’s like, four o’clock, it’s obviously a lot lower. So they probably figured it out like that, I would imagine.

Mr. Shovel: Then there’s the Daylight Savings time, which probably threw ‘em all off, too.

Steve: Yeah, I don’t think they cared about you know, farmer’s time. Hour forward, hour back. I don’t think they cared about all that. All they cared about was getting a bit of meat inside ‘em…and whacking someone over the head. You know, that was the…I think that’s where all the aggro is actually started from. When someone discovered a stick, they picked it up and then could bang it on the head of someone else and take their meat. I think that’s when the poison started.

Mr. Shovel: (way in the background, amidst the sound of cd cases being moved about) You think?

Steve: Way back then. You know what I mean? That was the beginning of The Poison. Or do you believe that Man, it’s just part of Man to get one over on another man? Survival I guess, right. You know what I mean?

Mr. Shovel: Trying to put some good music on here for ya, Steve.

Steve: (sounding properly British) Yes…please. (He pauses, and starts again in the manner of a great orator):
When Man discovered…more echo, please. (starts over) When Man discovered a branch, a twig, a piece of wood, even a rock (the theme of 2001: A Space Odyssey starts up in the background now)

Mr. Shovel: Bone!

Steve: A bone from a dynosaurus rex…when he discovered he could whack it over the head of his fellow man (the music surges as it does in “2001”)…ooh gawd, that was a bit sharp wasn’t it? (continues) how he could whack it over the head of his fellow man, discovered he could take his meat and his woman. He thought, “’Allo. I’ll have some more of this.” I believe that’s when The Poison started, up to this very day. When one country tries to get over on another country, in perception and all kind of devious manners, it did actually start with the stick and the rock on the other bloke’s head. We’ve come a long way. Our intertwined deceptions have been a lot more masterful. But at the end of the day, it all amounts to one thing.

(he pauses as the 2001 Theme reaches it’s famous crescendo)

Do you know what that one thing is?

(pause) I haven’t got a clue. (fervently) But we must, I insist, I COMMAND, that we continue whacking each other over the head with rocks, twigs, sticks and bottles and bones. It’s in our nature, people! Get used to it. There is no good or evil, we’re all rotten bastards underneath! Except me, I am the Goodness of All Good.

What am I sayin’? Is this a Quinn Martin Production or James Mason? I’m not sure what role I’m in. I think I’m in Ben Hur. Move me over to the other soundstage, would you? Just direct me in the direction of the script and the director. I want to run through my lines with him one more time. Okay Mr. Director, what did I say, then? “Barons and sticks and twigs”, could you change that bit? I don’t like the way that runs off my tongue. What about if I say “Machine guns and mass destruction and jackabites”? That sounds a lot more along the lines of confusion to confuse people of what really’s going on in this goddamn forsaken world.

I believe there is no ‘hours’ anymore. There’s no such thing as “twelve bells”. There’s only “Twelve Bollocks” and I am the Master of Bollocks. “Never Mind The Bollaxius”, that’s what they’ll be saying in the days of the future, when we’re all floating around…in Earth. There is no Earth, there will be space stations and there will be an album and it will be called, “Never Mind The Bollaxius, The Intergalactics Are Here”. Help me, Shovel, I don’t know what I’m saying next. Let’s play a song. Let’s play a song, let’s play – UFO! Yes, I knew it was for a reason…UFO. I knew God was working through me. Thank you, God. This song’s called, “Cherry”. Take it away, please.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Steve: I’m going to go and see the hypnotist after my show, for eating. He helped me with the smoking, it’ll be five years on October 24th. I’ll be five years off cigarettes. But now I’ve become a fat bastard. So I’m going to go and see him for to stop me from eating. Oh, I do love eating. Just saying it makes me hungry…eating. Meat, sticks, rocks, food and then came fire, changing the whole concept up. (the“2001” theme is on again) Couple of twigs rubbed together, them sticks come in handy in other ways than bashing over the head. Flick, flick, flick…oh there’s fire. Now we can keep warm. Then what came next? A wheel. When that wheel (was) discovered, then we could go ‘round and ‘round and take things a lot further. And then there was coal. Coal was discovered and then came the evil of all evils – OIL. We must retread our path. We must go back in time. You understand? Yes, of course you do. We must think Green. We MUST, do you understand!? This has been a two-penneth minute, brought to you by Helio.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: (his voice echoes as if in a cave) I hope you enjoyed today’s Box of Magnificence. I want you to go and see a man in a white cloak with leaves ‘round his head and if his name is Neo or Caesar or Incubus, I want you to go up to him and say, “I am the man who can, for two hours a day, do what he wants. The Sire of Wilshire, the Pontiff of Pop, (2001 Theme has worked its way back in again) The Licker of Lichtenstein, your Excellency of Excellence. Yes…the Shepard’s Bush Goal Machine. All Things Wonderful and Creative. The Sheriff of Rockingham, the Neo of Radio. The Nero, I mean, of Radio…no, not Robert DeNiro, Nero – the Roman Geezer. Do you understand?

It all started with rocks, twigs and T Rexes. Yes! Elephants with tusks a mile long. We love the ivory. Ivory Towers…Yes, Yess!

(The 2001 Theme explodes and ends. Steve and Mr. Shovel jump into a live version of “CC Rider” just like Elvis would do…)

Glen's Birthday!

In celebration of Glen's 50th birthday, we have transcribed the interview he did with Steve that took place on December 19, 2005 when Glen visited The Box. You can read it at Sex-Pistols.net


Happy Birthday, Mr. Matlock!

From Monday August 21

Steve: I had a long time to reflect when I was away for two weeks. I’ve come to the conclusion that I going to be more green with some of my…I’m going to be promoting green a lot more than I was before. You know what I mean.

Mr. Shovel: Money.

Steve: Awww yeahhh. (they laugh) You know what I mean, right?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah.

Steve: More conscious things to do about the environment. I think that’s a good thing and I have a platform to do that and I think, you know, our government ain’t interested so you have to be an entrepreneur in other ways. That’s what people are doing, starting to get entrepreneurs to do things to make the environment better and I thought, well, why don’t I do that? Cos I’m all for it and I think it’s not a case of being all for it, it’s not about hippies any more. It’s not about weaklings who wear clogs and sandals it’s about everyone who needs to be hip to it cos if you don’t, it’s the end. You know what I mean? It’s not about, it’s not about um…you’re not a pussy if you vote for, if you’re for Greenpeace, you know what I mean? It’s a thing that everyone needs to get hip to, whether it’s a car, whether it’s recycling, whether it’s…there’s a million things. I don’t want to get into it right now cos I’m not an expert, but I feel in my soul that it’s something that people need to be informed about. Do you understand?

Mr. Shovel: Yes.

Steve: Do you agree?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. It’s a weird time. One day in a hundred years, people will look back and go, “I can’t believe they were driving around with these cars.”

Steve: Driving Hummers.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah.

Steve: Ten miles to the gallon. Yeah, I know. It’s ludicrous. It’s absolutely ludicrous. So, there you go. So I’m going to be whooping Green on ya every now and again. I feel it again, Mr. Shovel and I’m gonna whoop some Honeymoon Suite on you. (music starts in background) You do understand don’t you? Throw away your clogs. Smoke your hemp. Recycle your toilet paper. (bellowing) And you MUST endure…the Chiefs of Mancheefrills….

August 22, 2006

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox. On the radio.
You know all that stuff that happened a little while ago in England, them guys were going to blow the planes up, did you hear about that?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, yeah I did.

Steve: Because of that, now you can’t take toothpaste and…

Mr. Shovel: Hair gel…

Steve: …water…basically, next you’re going to have to go on naked. The next time there’s a scare, like, you can’t wear clothes. I personally, I’m a big conspiracist theory-ist and I think that was something that was manufactured, you know, like, what do they call it, “staged”. I think the whole thing was staged, to be honest with you. To keep the people feared-up, to keep you believing in, you know, give a good reason to keep going on with this war.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah, and when it happened, I heard people…you go right back to that, “Let’s throw everybody out of the country” mentality.

Steve: Yeah. Exactly. You get “feared” and that’s the name of the game, you know. That’s my, that’s my take on it. When I first heard that, I thought that it was like, something didn’t seem right. I dunno. I’m not a political person, I’m just going with my gut and my gut told me it was a phony situation. Because, you know, there’s nothing happens for a while, you start…even, even the most ardent supporter of the war or whatever, starts thinking, “Well, why are we doing this war?” and so you have to have a little jolt now every now and again to make you think, “Oh that’s why we’re in the war cos there was going to be a bunch of Muslims going to blow up a bunch of planes, but we caught ‘em.

Mr. Shovel: But it’s so completely upside-down and backwards because being in the war is actually making it more likely that that will happen again.

Steve: Right. Well, it’s all ass-backwards. Everything’s ass-backwards. You know, worried about, you know, foreigner’s oil, people who hate you, buying oil off people who hate you, supposedly…well, that seems like real, that they’re not too keen on us in America and the West, Muslims in the Arab lands, it seems like they don’t like you but we buy oil off ‘em, to pay for the…we’re paying, we’re paying for the war both ways, we’re paying it for the oil and we’re spending the money to kill ‘em, too. It don’t make no sense. You know what I mean? Get rid of the oil. You know? Don’t need it. Think of other ways. There is other ways, we just need to get smart and get on board of other ways to create an energy.

Mr. Shovel: “But Steve, it’s not about the oil, they don’t like our way of life. They don’t like the fact that we’re free!”

Steve: Right. Okay. That’s my tuppence today. “Jonesy’s Tuppence. Brought to you by Helio. And now we’re going to play Kiss. Take it away, Mr. Shovel.”

Here are some shots of Steve and some of those HUFC boys from Hollywood United's game at the Home Depot Center

Magma

The Los Angeles Times has named their list of the 100 most powerful people in Southern California. A look at the list shows:

Assorted land barons, philanthopists, do-gooders, entertainment moguls and tastemakers

Police Chief of Los Angeles

Sheriff of L.A. County

Archbishop of Los Angeles

Mayor of Los Angeles

Governor of California

and...

It's good to see that some folks at the L.A.Times know magma when they see it. They also named John and Ken from KFI 640 to the list! That's another fine choice says me. I do so like KFI.

T.

July 26th 2006 The Buzzcocks visit the Box (bunker).

LATE FINAL EDITION...

Welcome back to Chriswasanon. The part of the Internet where we bring to you the choicest cuts of Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 103.1. Pretty much anything can happen here but it is our #1 intention to showcase Steve Jones, Mark Shovel and any guests that may appear on the show. That's all you need to know.

Floratina my co-blogger is on a bit of a sabbatical from the chriswasanon blog (posh rest) but will return. Just a wee while and she’ll be back.

But first the blog…bit.

And in a packed blog tonight…Steve is off on his hols, yerst, he packed his bucket and spade, a pair of speedo trunks, and his little black address book. He buggered off in his jalopy into the wide open yonder. So this week on the Jukebox is a week of repeat shows

“The Smash news,” a unique feature. You vill be familiar by now mit zis hitherto unknown unique speciality of cooking.

On Thursday July 26th those old “ponk rockerz” the Buzzcocks visited the box. Due to other matters, running a shop etc & hiding from customers, (my favourite) there has as yet been no Buzzcocks post here.

“Love you more,” “Promises.” “Ever fallen in love with someone (you shouldn’t have fallen in love with?)” Just perfect songs of teen tribulation. The first time I heard the Buzzcocks was on Radio 1. John Peel (see the tribute link on this blog). He was playing the flipside to “Love you more”. The b side “Noise annoys." I still yet hear Peelie’s intonation.

“The Boozcocks.”



Trivia time. In the North round Manchester way. the local elderly worthies used to call young blades and lads “buzzcocks,” apparently so a wiki on the Buzzcocks subject said. So here was me thinking that they named themselves after a sex machine. Bet you thought the same!

It’s time. Get in the Tardis, it's titchy wee on the outside but that's a deception. Inside you could park a 14 wheel articulated trailer unit. 12X Maybe.

Step back to the 26 July 2006 Buzzcocks interview. They’d just played the House of Blues and were heading out to another gig that night. (T)ime (A)nd Relative(D)imension (I)n (S)pace. There's a packet (or 55) of ”Smash” to "nourish" and sustain us. 1.2.3.4 Thunderbirds and some well bastard pot noodle. Probably..not well bastard, probably just bastard.

This was the first time that the secret alternative broadcast location known as “the bunker” had been used. As opposed to the usual studio on Wilshire Avenue for Indie 103.1 where the show is normally broadcast from.

Present.

Pete Shelley and Steve Diggle, (guitars) Tony Barber (bass and producer). Danny Farrant (drums and erstwhile Alarm and Spear Of Destiny stixman.). Steve Jones interviewing and Mark “take it away Mr. Shovel” Shovel.

Chriswasanon is at the controls.

Steve: You’re listenin’ to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 103.1 and we are in the bunker with the Buzzcocks and that was the Flying Buritto Brothers and that song was called: “Older guys.” And before that we had Kitsch that’s the Heavy metal kids and that song was called, “Swallow day Inn,” (Squalliday Inn) and then we started off with Status Quo from an album, “Piledriver,” and that song was, “Don’t waste my time.” And we’re still waitin’to set up ze gear in ze bunker for ze Buzzcocks, to rock ‘n’ roll. So er yer playin t’night at the Henry Fonda Theater, are you enjoyin’ being’ on the road?

Diggle: Yeh yeh, it’s ok after being about (?) I’d rather be later on the stage, it’s all the hangin’ around.

Steve: Yeah.

Barber: Ah but stuff like this is good as well.

Diggle: Yeah.

Barber: But anyfink to do with not bein’ in an ‘ôtel or a tour bus is alright or bein’ in a fast food joint.

Steve: Is that where you been ‘er?

Barber: No you know what it’s like, ‘angin’ around, that crap.

Steve: (Sympatheticaly) No I know. I wish I could fink of a new way of tourin’, I’d make a lotta money.

Barber: TARDIS.




Steve: I’d copyright it.

Diggle: Yeah.

Steve: But you know old Branson is comin’ up with that fing isn’t he where he’s…er…you can go up into the atmosphere or somethin’ on the spaceship or somethin’. http://www.virgingalactic.com/en/

Diggle: Yeah.

Steve: I said to ‘im – he came on the box – I said, “Why don’t you just er instead of just goin’ up outer space , why don’t you just ‘ave it go somewhere like Australia with like ten minutes or something,” you know what I mean?

Diggle: Be more useful cos there’s nobody there up there is there…

Steve: What are you gonna do, you go up there…

Diggle: …no gigs.

Steve: Pointless.

Diggle: There’s not even a hard rock cafè up there, is there?

Steve: (Laughs).

Barber: Yet.

Diggle: Or a Starbucks.

All laugh.

Diggle: But yeah yer right he should make somethin’ useful…be good tourin’.. We’re goin’ to Australia after this tour ya know, so if ya could go in one of them ye’d be there in ten minutes, wouldn’t yer?

Steve: Exactly!

Diggle: Be like catchin’ the number 9 bus or the 29 from…

Steve: I think it’s a bit of a production to actually get off the er ground an’ all that, I think you ‘ave to wear a space outfit an’ all that. I wouldn’t mind wearin a space outfit myself. The gear, ya know?

Diggle: Yeah be like er…

Steve: “Thunderbirds are go.” (



Diggle: Like that bloke from Buggles, didn’t he used to wear one of them or summat?



Shelley: That used to be our childhood dreams wasn’t it?

Steve: Do you remember that?

Shelley: The generation where you would dream of bein’ an astronaut.

Diggle: Even in ’76 when I first met ‘im he said he’s waitin’ for a future so he can wear a spacesuit and eat protein pills an’ that, you know.

All laugh.

Steve: Well you…there weren’t…

Diggle: Don’t have to go to MacDonalds or anythin’ you know.

Steve: Well there actually was space food in England in the 70’s. “Smash,” it was called.

Diggle: Yeah.

Steve: “Yeoman’s.” (Packet mashed potato like Smash and like Smash still available).

Steve D: Yeoman’s, yeah.

Steve: That’s space food. I bet it was really good for you too.

Diggle: “They peel them with their metal knives…” (Famous line from old British telly advertising campaign for Cadbury’s Smash – see link above).

All laugh.

Steve: All that.

Diggle: Remember that was…

Steve: Powder weren’t it?

Diggle: Yeah.

Diggle: They used to ‘ave powdered milk as well in the ‘60’s and that you know.

Barber: And powdered orange juice an’ all.

Diggle: Powdered orange juice.

Steve: An’ powder for yer nose as well.

Diggle: Laughs

Steve: It’s a wonder everyone ain’t anging (‘em out?) dead…who had Yeoman’s.

All laugh.

Diggle: Used to shut yer up.

Steve: Cancer of the entire body.

Buzzcock. (incoherent).

Diggle: When I used to do a load of drugs I used to have a bit of that at the end of the bed or a Pot Noodle you know. (Noodles in a plastic pot add boiling water, stir…etc).



Steve: Yeah.

Diggle: Used to crawl to the end of the bed and just pour the kettle of hot water on it, saved getting’ outta bed you know. That’s what heroin does to you folks, you can’t get out of bed in the end.

Steve: Stay away.

Diggle: Eat Cadbury’s Smash.

Steve: Yes, did you ever get into that?

Diggle: Oh yeah.

Steve: You was addicted?

Diggle: Not addicted but every other day, yeah.

Steve: I did it for ten years, I was a mess.

Diggle: Yeah I mean I never did it every day, just ‘ere and there, you know. Like as a “treat,” you know?

Steve: “Treat?” (Laughs)

Diggle: An’crack an’ all, that’s good for yer.

Steve: “Crahck” (imitating “scally” or scallywag Manchester/Liverpool accent).

Diggle: “Crahck.”

Diggle: But you gotta enjoy all those things you know, not get like a slave to them you know.

Steve: Well that’s…yeah but some people are different, some people can take it or leave it.

Diggle: Well I always felt really ill after taking it, need a day off you know?

Barber: Some people ‘ave to keep lookin’ for more.

Steve: Yeah I’m one of them, I can’t just do one, I have to keep goin’ like an idiot, you know. Wish I could but then I think you enjoy it a different way as well…

Diggle: Yeah.

Steve: …if you take it or leave it you know.

Diggle: Well I ‘ad to cos you ‘ad gigs to do ‘ere and there. you know what I mean? ‘Specially these kinda tours but I mean.

Sounds of guitars being tuned and plucked.

Steve: An’ we aint gettin’ no younger.

Diggle: We ain’t gettin’ no younger, now that’s another thing man you know. An’ nature’s Police sorta work on yer and yer think, “oooh I can’t ‘andle that now, what I used to do” and all that stoof.”

Steve: Yeah, yeah.

Diggle: But er, many good times I think, up until I left London just a couple of weeks ago. (Deadpan).

Steve: You played er, “The ‘ouse of everythin’ but Blues last night. (House of Blues LA. venue)

Diggle: Yeah.

Steve: In Anaheim. Good turn out?

Diggle: Fantastic!

Steve: You ‘ad a good time Pete?

Shelley: Yeah, it was good, there was lots of faces I remembered from last time we were here so…

Shelley: It’s always nice cos I mean like you…in a way you sort of…each audience comes along and knew their faces but when you come back to places that you’ve played before and you see familiar people.

Steve: Was there a lot of young ‘uns there?

Shelley: Yes.

Diggle: Yeah there’s a load of young kids comin’ to shows now even more than ever. It’s like their discoverin’ through their folks or through bands like “Greenday” or somethin’ They go…they backtrack a bit and then come and see us.

Steve: I think the whole punk thing took a turn about a year ago, it became all kind of important as a form of music and so people started looking back where it came from.

Diggle: Yeah.

Steve: So that’s why you’re probably getting a different…

Shelley: And there was no way of predicting that 30 years ago was there?

Steve: No…

Diggle: (Incoherent).

Steve: I was just talkin’ about that the one where we came up…was it you, us and Slaughter and the Dogs?

Shelley: Yeah.

Steve: And you had Howard Devoto singin’ for you at the time, right?

Shelley: Yeah that was er.

Steve: It wasn’t, it was the other free trade ‘all (Manchester Free Trade Hall) alright.

Shelley: The lesser Free...

Diggle: ..Trade ‘all, oh yeah.

Steve: Yeah. I was just thinkin’ about that, what a blindin’ gig that was.

Shelley: 30 years ago of the 20th of July it was.

Steve: Was it?

Shelley: So it’s only 5 days since it was.

Steve: 30 years ago.

Diggle: Legendary gig! They’re always on about that one you know.

Steve: Everyone was there!

Diggle: Everyone was there, all ten of ‘em weren’t they? (laughs). That shows where we’ve got the biggest liars in Manchester than anywhere innit really, they always say: “Oh yeah…” Half the population of Manchester could have been there (door bangs - incoherent phrase).

Steve: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Steve: Have we got to visit the Duke Mr. Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah.

Steve: We’re here with Buzzcocks, we’re in the Bunker, we’ll be back soon. Hopefully to play some music, fanx for listening.

Short visit to what Steve refer's to as the "Duke of Kent"=rent, the advertising.

Steve: You’re listenin’ to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 103.1 with my guests the Buzzcocks and we’re in a studio somewhere. I can’t tell you the location, it’s top secret, we don’t want anyone comin’ down here and annoying us and lookin’ for autographs and dirty skidmarken undergarments.

General laughter.

Steve: Be quiet sh sh, they’re listenin’

Diggle: (Very low voice incoherent almost but sounds like) Their watchin’ somebody out there…somewhere.

More laughter

Diggle: They’re after us. Tellin’ ya.

Steve: So I don’t know what this is going to be like rock ‘n’ rolling in here but. I’m actually…it’s actually excitin’. I think it could be a laugh. What do you reckon? Do you think it’s gonna go wrong?

Barber: Inevitably.

General laughter.

Shelley: Potential to.

Diggle: Tin bath (Cockney rhyming slang, "tin bath"= laugh) innit?

Steve: Your bus is stuck outside you know.

Barber: (Laughing) I know.

Diggle: The wheels (are) off the ground.

More laughter.

Diggle: The wheels in there are back near the entrance.

Steve: I think your driver is on No doze…

Yet more laughter.

Steve: …That’s the problem.

Diggle: He’s on something, we call him “the Rock” don’t we?

Barber: Yeah.

Steve: So where you goin’ next? San Francisco?

Shelley: Yes San Francisco, tomorrow I think.

Barber: Yeah it is and then it’s Portland. Seattle

Shelley: (Joining in with Barber.) Portland, Seattle,

Barber: 2 in Canada.

Steve: Vancouver?

Shelley: Yeah.

Barber: Yeah and then we’ll end up in Victoria on the last one. For the 31st.

Steve: And then what, back to earth?

Barber: Well yeah goin’ back to England to do er..

Diggle: (Exhortation like egging on a striker to score a goal) Yeah, come on!

Barber: Couple of festivals in August.

Steve: What ones you doin then?

Barber: One…

Steve: Phoenix?

Shelley: No they don’t do that one anymore.

Steve: That’s finished?

Barber: Yip…we’re doin’ a big one in London in Clapham on the 27th, with er Babyshambles and Graham Coxon again, that’s a massive one cos there’s no, there’s no Glastonbury and that this year. So there’s a load of other ones. It’s called somethin’ like “In the Park,” innit? Summink?

Diggle: Er “Get loaded…

Barber: (Finishing)… in the Park,” that’s it. (Get loaded in the park)

Steve: What’s that er documentary that Julien Temple’s doin? It’s a like years an’ years of er…is it Glastonbury?

Shelley: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Barber: Oh yeah it might be yeah, Thirty years of Glastonbury.

See Julien Temple transcript on kick down the doors). Thirty five years of Glastonbury was it?




GLASTONBURY PYRAMID STAGE 1971.


Shelley: Twenty five or something

Steve: Why’d that stop then?

Barber: No he’s just ‘avin’ a year off or somethin’ in he? Countin’ ‘is money. (Reference to the local dairy farmer Michael Eavis who is the landowner of”Worthy Farm” near Pilton, the site of the Glastonbury Music and Performing Arts Festival in Somerset, SW. England).

Diggle: Yeah.

Steve: Let the grass grow.

Barber: No just to count the money I think. He’s made the last twenty five of ‘em? (A Possible ref to continuation of the festy - though there have been other years where there has not been a Glastonbury Festival).

Diggle: So he gets hard work every year, don’t he?

Barber: Yeah.

Steve: I watched er…

Barber: He probably forgot what a cow looks like.

Diggle: Oh moo (Laughter).

Steve: Cash cow.

Shelley: There you go. (A gesture probably accompanies this)

Steve: I watched er the makin’ of Live Aid the other day, have you ever seen that?

Shelley: No.

Steve: It’s like a 3 hour documentary, it was on the BBC. About how that all started and the first show and all that at Wembley…you never saw that? No.

Diggle: Saw the show, but not the makin’ of it. What did they do?

Steve: It’s really good if you get a chance get to see it, it’s like a 3 hour thing and it’s really good behind the scenes all the back stabbin’ and all the other stuff that gos on with it. It’s really interestin’. Entertainin’ stuff.

Shelley: Mmm.

Diggle: They only ask their mates though, don’t they, they don’t like (ask) us or the Pistols or us or anythin’ they… What’s wrong with them I think they think we’re dangerous. They only ask like Sting and all those nice kind of bands and…

Steve: They actually asked us for the last one…

Diggle: Did they?

Steve: Or they said in the paper that we we’re going to do it but we…

Barber: That’s right

Steve: …we’ve never been approached.

Barber: They were, right.

Diggle: Oh right.

Steve: So I dunno, so is it startin’ to dwindle down a bit then?

Diggle: Ermm.

Steve: Still goin’ strong?

Diggle: Erm, they’ve just done that new one ain’t they, last year whenever ("Make Poverty History" a big gig in London. It culminated with a march in Edinburgh and at Murrayfield on the Saturday whilst the G8 were meeting at Gleneagles. ).

Steve: Are they actually makin’ any difference, is any one…gettin’ fed?

Sound of cymbal in background.

Diggle: I don’t know…I mean…yeah I think it makes a bit of difference don’t know. Bonio (Bono, Bonio is a kind of dog biscuit) is always on about it isn’t he, you know.

Steve: Yeah.

Diggle: They should go out there and work you know. Dig the soil and get some water going and that.

Steve: Exactly or move somewhere where they got some grub.

Diggle: Yeah you know, go and help and (incoherent) instead of keep telling people off about it you know.

Steve: Yeah.

Diggle: It’s like going like, “Do you know there’s people starving in Africa?” It’s like, “Yeah we’ve always known that, you know.”

Shelley: Yeah me mum told me.

Laughter.

Steve: They should open up a Petticoat lane over there.

Diggle: That’s what I mean, get it goin’ a bit you know. Few drugs on board a couple of deejays over there, that’ll get it goin’

Steve: Exactamundo. Let’s play some music. We’re here with the Buzzcocks, you’re listenin’ to Jonesy’s Jukebox we’re in the studio somewhere.

Plays a few songs.

Steve: You’re listenin’ to Jonesy’s jukebox on Indie 103.1 with my guests the Buzzcocks, we’re in a secret location no one can know about cos it’s top secret and I think the Buzzcocks are ready to do some rock ‘n’ rollin’. How about it lads?

Diggle: Yeah, come on then 1-2-3-4.

They start with “What do I get?”

Steve plays a few more songs.

Steve: You’re listenin’ to Jonesy’s jukebox on Indie 103.1 with my guests the Buzzcocks, that was Marc Bolan and T. Rex and that song was called “Hot Love”. Before that was ELO. doin’ “Don’t bring me down,” I think that was it weren’t it?

Diggle: Yeah, the Buzzcocks before that yeah.

Steve: You guys, the Buzzcocks playin’ live as we speak, what was the song, the two songs that you did? Like goin’ backwards.

Diggle: “Sell you everything” and

Barber: Oh no, "Flatpack philosophy" was the last one we did.

Steve: What was it called?

Barber: "Flatpack philosophy." That’s the title track of the album.

Steve: That's the title track, yeah.

Barber: And then “Sell you everything” which was the first one of the two. That’s the new single.

Steve: How’s it goin’?

Diggle: It’s had a lot of good reviews you know. There’s a lot of warmth to it, it’s selling steadily. Just pickin’ up over here, cos we’re out here tourin’ with it you know.

Steve: Yeah.

Diggle: Doin’ good like I say it’s a pretty good album, you know. The reviewers, critics whatever, they are they seem to like it.

Steve: What people in England liked it?

Diggle: Yeah. Amazing yeah.

Steve: That’s weird innit.

Diggle: They’re all tryin’ to dive us on now, tryin’ to think, “Oh the Buzzcocks, they’re hip,” cos they been around 30 years. But you know about 4 years ago when they didn’t want to know, you know. Oh they’re a bit low, but the profile has been raised a bit recently you know. So you gotta keep your eyes open see who’s…you know what I mean?

Steve: Yer trendy again!

Diggle: Yeah, for another ten minutes.

Barber: For another ten minutes.

Diggle: (Laughs).

Steve: Make the most if it.

Diggle: (Laughs again).

Steve: Is it sold out tonight at the Henry Fonda? Does anyone know?

Barber: Think so.

Shelley: I don’t know (incoherent)…this morning. I suppose it will be getting’ on towards that.

Steve: Well you guys go on about 9 I think 9.30, who knows? Henry Fonda. Tonight, the Buzzcocks will be performin’ and then tomorrow San Francisco at er…some gaff, what’s it called? The Mezz…

Diggle: The Mezzanine.

Steve: Is that in the Vestibule? Is that near the er…

Diggle: If we knew where you are, I know what he’s gonna, near where you go, eh?

Steve: Alright! We’re gonna visit the Duke, we’ll come back and I’m gonna play a song with you guys. Then we’re gonna knock it on the ‘ead. It’s been fun so far, so lets go and visit the Duke of Kent. Thanks fer listenin’

Steve: You’re listenin’ to Jonesy’s jukebox on Indie 103.1 with my guests the Buzzcocks and they are playin’ tonight at the Henry Fonda Theater. We’re gonna leave you now with a song that me and the Buzzcocks are gonna play together. (Brightly) One of my favourite songs of the Buzzcocks, it’s called er…what is it called lads?

Shelley: “Fiction Romance.”

Steve: That’s what I said, “Fiction Romance.” Thank you so much for comin’ by the Bunker and er, we’ll see each other tonight. Anytime you’re ready!

They all break into “Fiction Romance.” An absolutely cracking version!

End of the show, interview and transcript.

Transcribed by Chriswasanon. Any errors or mistakes in transcribing Steve Diggle will be disowned innit forthwith old son. Or ascribing words to them what did not say them, likewise swiftly dismissed! The beginning of the interview was extremely muffled and thus not worth transcribing. Please note that Stuart's blog http://www.jonesysjukebox.blogspot.com has the set list of all Buzzcock's songs played live that day. This was a tricky one to get down as parts of the interview just did not make sense, I have done me best like.

Floratina will be back soon with more audacious jewels of Jonesy, sapphires of Shovel!

Thanks to Floratina, the Buzzcocks, the Buzzcocks on myspace, Mark Shovel and of course Mr. Stephen Jones.

Thanks for reading!

CwA.

August 2nd stuff - Interview with Joe Cole, too

Steve: I was in the Sun Newspaper, someone told me. Actually my mom. I spoke to me mum this morning. Actually, she weren’t the one who told me, though. My mate told me that in the Sun newspaper…you know that Tony Blair was at the Chelsea party? Did I tell you that?

Mr. Shovel: No. That’s a kind of a big detail you missed.

Steve: Oh, yeah. He was there. George Bush’s poodle. George Bush’s chia pet. He was there. Snoop Dog was there and the tennis player, the bird with the nice, round ass…

Mr. Shovel: Did they sneak off to the bathroom together?

Steve: Ahhh zhhheah. They went into the bathroom for a bit a shinizzle. I think he put some shinizzle up Tony Blair’s nostril.

Mr. Shovel: Tony doin’ a little endo?

Steve: Ahh zhheah. Serena Williams, she was there. I was there. I got a mention in the Sun newspaper. Next to Tony Blair’s, the chia pet.

Mr. Shovel: Sippin’ on his gin and juice?

Steve: Ah, got my mind on my money and my money on my mind…

(they do some Snoop impressions)

Steve: He lives at Number Ten Shnizzle Street in London. We’re gonna continue with the covers. Did I tell you I’m having a vacation at the end of this week? I’m going to be gone. Did I tell you that, Shovel?

Mr. Shovel: No.

Steve: Yep, I’m going to go on a road trip.

Mr. Shovel: Really.

Steve: Yeah. I’m going to take pictures, as well. Maybe I’ll send the pictures in from…

Mr. Shovel: From your Helio?

Steve: Yeah, from my Helio, from different locations.

Mr. Shovel: You gonna drive that Prius?

Steve: I’m gonna drive the Prius and I’m gonna take my Virgin records with me and I’m gonna…

Mr. Shovel: Play your cd’s.

Steve: Play my cd’s and I’m gonna be on my Helio and I’m gonna…what else do I do? There’s something else…that’s it right, for now?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah.

Steve: Yeahhhh. That’s what I’m gonna be doin’. Maybe I’ll be stopping at McDonald’s, if they want to endorse me. (makes yumyum sounds)

Mr. Shovel: I’m sure they have Coffee Bean and Tea Leafs all across the country you can stop at…

Steve: I wish they had In-N-Outs, that stops at Vegas, baby.

Mr. Shovel: Well, we happen to have a bet that you’re going to stop at Vegas, too.

Steve: I’m not telling…I ain’t telling no one where I’m going. The Navy Seals might see me. I heard there’s going to be one of them reconnaissance planes following me.

Mr. Shovel: Yeah. Eye In The Sky.

Steve: Yeah, just to make sure nothing, no harm comes to me.

Mr. Shovel: The Jonesy Drone.

Steve: Yeah. Cos, you know, down South there, I don’t want to end up like the old “Deliverance”, tied to a tree, going (squeals like a pig) “Eeee! Eeeeee!”. That could happen. It happened to Burt Reynolds and he was a big bloke. Actually, it didn’t happen to Burt, it was the other one, wunnit? The fat one? Oh, I guess that’s me, yeah.

Mr. Shovel: Ned Beatty. Yeah.

Steve: Okay. Should play some music. Um, should I do a song? What should it be about?

Mr. Shovel: Your road trip.

Steve: Oh yeah. Road trip, okay. Uh, should I play it with the harp? Do you fancy a bit of harp?

Mr. Shovel: Sure. I fancy it.

Steve: Let me put me harp on.

Mr. Shovel: It’s a fancy harp.

Steve: I’ll show that G Love geezer how to play harp. He was pretty good. Did you like him yesterday?

Mr. Shovel: Mm hmm.

Steve: Uh oh, I have to take me headphones off first. Oh, my bleedin’ hair’s getting too long. It’s getting caught in the…in the thing. What do they call these things? Harmonica holders?

Mr. Shovel: Yeah.

Steve: I’m sure there’s a proper name for it. Echo, please.

(after a guitar and harmonica intro, he starts to sing)

I am taking a road trip in my Prius
From Toyota of Huntington Beach
And I am taking my Helio
Down to the rodeo in El Paso

I hope there’s a Virgin Megastore
On the way hey hey hey
I might get thirsty around near Atlanta
I hope they have banana

And Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf
I think they have ‘em everywhere
Even in Texass
What else can I whore myself out to
I’m sure there’s a lot of things
If we look into it

I like Beano and I like pints of lager
And I like fish and chips
And I’m fond of pie and mash
Come on, let me have ya!

Everybody, do you want a piece of
Jonesy On The Road
He’s going across America
Selling everything he’s got

He’s even got his old t-shirts
For five hundred dollars
He don’t care
He don’t hang on to a thing
He don’t get attached to anything

Oh, it’s been fun
I can’t complain
I don’t care what I’ve done in the past
Now I’m looking to the future
It’s good but I don’t think it will last

Oh lordy oh lordy
I think I’m gonna become a pastor
In the pastures

I’m gonna sell religion
You can be one of my disciples
From the Jonesy Chapel Of Love
Praise him, oh you must kneel before him
And take that thing they put in people’s mouths
It looks like a biscuit, what do they call that thing?

You must confess to The Pontiff
I want to hear all the gory details
Then I’ll go back into my chambers
and have a wank

Oh praise me
Oh lordy there’s no such thing
As heaven and hell
Don’t buy that stuff
It’s just to control the masses

Just be yourself and you will be all right
Just do the right thing
You know instinctively
What the right thing is to do

If you’re going to throw your money
Down the drain
Throw it this way to Jonesy
He’s insane
C’mon baby, you know what I’m talking about

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Interview with Joe Cole
Steve: On the phone right now, live from UCLA, we have Joe Cole. Joe?

Joe: Hello, Steve. How you doing?

Steve: How are you, mate?

Joe: I’m very good.

Steve: Is Mourinho flogging the bollocks off you?

Joe: He is, he’s got…we’re doing double sessions every day in the L.A. heat and it’s taking it’s toll, but you need to do it this time of year to get your fitness in.

Steve: He’s trying to get you ready for the Premiership?

Joe: He is, yeah and it’s a great place to come and do it because you got, you know…we can move around the streets, we’re not too well known, you know and it’s very relaxing and we had a few trips down to the beach as well in-between training so its, we’re really enjoying it.

Steve: Nice one. I heard that they laid down whole new grass for you lot at UCLA.

Joe: Yeah, they did but it’s taken a battering cos we’re training twice and so it’s pretty much cut up now, like some good old-fashioned England, English pitches.

Steve: All you need now is a bit of rain.

Joe: Yeah.

Steve: Sling some mud at each other.

Joe: Yeah.

Steve: I dunno where I heard it, but I think it was on the Chelsea website that, when you guys come over…did you suffer from jet lag?

Joe: Yeah. Well, I didn’t because I’d come out for holiday in Miami the week before and I met up with the squad straight after. But yeah, the boys have been (?) jet lag. I think some of them still are. I mean it’s, cos you’re going into the training so there’s no time to adjust your body and that. So…when we fly back we’ve actually got to fly straight to Holland more or less, to play a friendly so it’s a very busy time of year for us.

Steve: Right. I heard something about some of the players were wearing special socks or something.

Joe: Yeah, blister socks what the marathon runners wear. There’s all sorts of precautions taken. I mean, people probably think a blister is nothing at all, but it can be…when you’ve got to train and twist and turn and you get a nasty blister it can be quite painful so yeah, we do get pampered a bit with all sorts of special socks and things like that.

Steve: Yeah. No, I thought the socks were for like, for jet lag or something.

Joe: Ohh…the jet lag ones…well, they’re flight socks. They look like big tights. We got them as well like I said, they make sure they look after us properly.

Steve: I want to get a pair of them tights.

Joe: I think you’ll look well in them, mate.

Steve: Yeah with my skinny legs and my beer gut, yeah. You looking forward to the Premiership?

Joe: Yeah, we can’t wait to get it started now. I mean, we’ve had five or six, seven days training and you just want to, you know, you just want to play the games and the big games and the Premiership is where it’s at. I think we’ve got the strongest league in the world at the moment and it’s great for English fans. It’s a great league to watch with some great teams.

Steve: Who’s…oh, I think that’s your cell phone going off…who’s the first game, is it Man City?

Joe: Yeah, Man City at home. We’ve got the charity Shield game in Cardiff against Liverpool the week before which is a big game you want to win because it’s got a trophy…Man City at home is when it kicks off, yeah.

Steve: Yeah and you’re playing Celtic as well right, in a friendly?

Joe: Yeah, we’ve got Celtic in a week’s time, ten days’ time at The Bridge. It’s always going to be a little bit of a – it’s a friendly – but it’ll always be a little bit…a Battle of Britain game and for sure it’ll be you know, high-tempo and lots of tackles flying in, even if it is a friendly.

Steve: Yeah yeah. What do you think of the new kit? Is it comfortable?

Joe: Yeah the new kit’s lovely. Looking forward to…we’ve got three new strips (?) you know, because they changed the sponsor…you know, it looks the part, though. You know, we’re really looking forward to wearing it.

Steve: Yeah yeah. I can’t wait to get a shirt meself. Do you like pie and mash?

Joe: Yeah, I love pie and mash. I was actually talking to a friend of mine about, there’s no pie and mash shops in West London no more. I can’t seem to find any. I have to go all the way back over to East to get some.

Steve: Well there’s one on Goldhawk Road actually, Cookes.

Joe: Yeah?

Steve: By Goldhawk Road Station, yeah.

Joe: All right. I’ll have to go look for that then. I haven’t found it yet.

Steve: I’ve been going there since I was about eight.

Joe: Yeah?

Steve: It’s still there, yeah. They’re a dying breed, but there’s still that one.

Joe: I’ll have a look at that one when I get back. That’ll be blinding.

Steve: You ever see that movie, “Quadrophenia”?

Joe: No, I haven’t seen it.

Steve: It’s about The Who and the Mods and all that. But some of it’s shot in there.

Joe: In the pie and mash shop?

Steve: Yeah. You know Ray Winstone, right?

Joe: Yeah.

Steve: He plays like, one of the guys, a rocker in it and he’s, there’s a scene in the pie and mash shop, actually. So you can have a butcher’s before you go in there.

Joe: (laughs) I’ll have a look.

Steve: All right mate, I know you’re knackered so I’ll let you go. One more question, who’s got the biggest savaloy in the shower?

Joe: (laughing) I wouldn’t like to say…

Steve: Drogba?

Joe: (laughs more)

Steve: I’ll bet it’s Drogba, innit? (they both laugh) All right mate, nice one.

Joe: All right then, Steve.

Steve: Good luck, mate.

Joe: Take care, mate.

Steve: See you later.

Joe: Bye.

Steve: Bye.

From August 1 - About The Magnitude...

I thought I'd take a few moments out from the NY Dolls transcriberin' put this out there. In case you missed it or weren't sure when you heard it the first time, here's the ponder flow that sneaked out late in the show:

Steve: Do you understand? Do you fully comprehend the magnificence of the magnitude of all things magnetic? No, of course you don’t. You’re all buffoons, jack’napes and incubickin-slingers and things. I don’t even know what’s going on myself. My hands just walk and do the talkin’. Everyone’s confused. But it’s okay because in this day and age, we’re all dying and it’s not long to go before the magma of the magnetic minefields will explode in our faces and we will all turn into magic dust. And when the magic dust falls and settles, we will start a new world. And from that new world, there will be two people: there will be good people and horrible people. That’s just the way it goes. So if we do actually dissolve into some kind of atomic wasteland, there might be one plant that survives and from that plant will come…a cherry. And from that cherry, a little cockroach will eat it and that little cockroach will turn into a human being and a monkey will turn into a magnetic…(aside) um, what are the guys with the big foreheads…

Mr. Shovel: Cro-Magnon.

Steve: …Crag-Magnolia Man! And the Magnolia Man will find a bird and he will give her five hundred dollars and say, “Can I have sex with you and we will start a civilization?” and they will have it off and we will all start again and it will be all back to square one in no time. I’m going to visit The Duke now, you bet your candy asses. Thanks for listening.

June 28 2006 The New York Dolls Visit The Box (updated 8/2)

David Johansen and Sylvain Sylvain

Welcome back to chriswasanon! The number one place for extracts of that famous show, Jonesy's Jukebox. To be found on the top of your dial on Indie 103.1. So today we have the June 2006 interview with the NY dolls. June? Shurley shome mishtake. Well whatever. I was thinking about energy drinks meself and I thought of a good one you could make and market - a cross between Cricket Cola, Red bull and crystal methamphetamine. I think I'll call it Killlllllllllllll frenzy. There is a lot of that in everybody's favourite homicidal car jacker video game, Grand theft Auto. Not energy drinks, just mindless homicidal jackpot scoring. Keep that flame thrower handy. GTA is Death Race 2000 sans David Carradine and wasn't he so much more peaceful in that. "You have snatched the pebble from my hand grasshopper..."

Enjoy this slab of ice cold fresh jukebox with a beer from the fridge or a poolside Pina colada and as Tina says, there is more to come. Plus some Buzzcocks possibly. It was a quite a week as far as the Buzzcocks went for LA. There were 2 gigs, one of 'em was a real elbow bruising mosh pit. Then the band were sealed 60 feet below the ground with Steve and Mr. Shovel in der bunker for a 12 bells arama. I loved the part when Steve played with them on "Fiction romance" - that one is still going through my head. Actually "Mods Skins and Punks" goes through my head quite a lot too but that's another story.

CwA

Tina IS at the controls!

(click on the pics to find out more)


Steve: So what’s going on, men?

Sylvain: How you doin’ man? We’re doin’ all right.

Steve: Yeah?

Sylvain: Yeah. Where’s David, though?

Steve: Who?

Sylvain: Where’s David?

Steve: He’s here.

David: I’m enjoying…the simple pleasures.

Steve: The simple pleasures.

David: See, I’m not one of these to get all excited about energy drinks.

Steve: I think we could uh, I think…do we have energy drinks here?

Doll 3: Oh yeah…I think we’re gonna need some.

Steve: (to David) Do you want to hold one?

David: (laughing) I want…to hold one. I just want to be seen with one.

Steve: Feel the power coming off of it.

David: Yeah. I want to be seen with one. I like the one that makes you furious.

Steve: It’s called, "Furious Drink", or something?

David: Yeah well, it’s called , "Full Throttle Fury", so you can be just like, mellow as can be and drink it and then have apoplexy in a moment.

Steve: I think…who was the first, Red Bull was the first of that whole wave of drinks, wunnit?

David: Yes.

Steve: Red Bull, probably?

David: And I guess, Red Bull when you think about it, if a bull is kind of…

Steve: Angry.

David: …adverse to red…

Steve: It’s angry, innit?

David: …and sees a Red Bull, it’s bound to get really furious and there’s going to be a fisticuffs.

Steve: Yeah. And you’ll have to put big swords in his back.

David: Have you noticed, now I don’t want to be conspiracy theorist or anything, but there is this kind of mass movement toward militancy and fury. Have you noticed that?

Steve: Please explain to me.

David: Well, Red Bull, case in point.

Steve: Oh, okay.

David: I think they’re really like, trying to get people to go in the army, but nobody’s really up for, up for the gig.

Steve: Maybe they should just stop messing about and just say, “We’ve got a new drink. It’s called, The Military Drink”.

David: Yeah. “It’s called, Kill Everybody…”

Steve: “…Drink”.

(the other members of the band stop playing background music and laugh)

David: “…drink Kill Everybody and then have apoplexy as the veins in your temples explode and you drown your friends in your own blood.”

Steve: I think you’re onto something.

David: We could be Mad Ave, kind of…Mad, Mad Ave.

Steve: I think you’re onto something.

David: I think so. Let’s get right to the point. Let’s quit beating around the bush.

Steve: Let’s think about…how could the advertisement, the poster for it, look? How would it look?

David: We could probably get like, the guy from – remember Cracked magazine? It was kind of like, the Mad Magazine takeoff and it’d always have some guy whose head was exploding?

Steve: Yeah.

David: Oh, what was that movie? “Scanners”?

Steve: Yeah!

David: Remember where the guy – it’s already been filmed, we could just use that. Like, have the guy drink it and then go to that “Scanners” thing where the guy’s head explodes and everyone is just standing there, covered in guts, dumbfounded. “Dumbfound your friends!”

Steve: Yeah. And the good thing is, it’s only two dollars, too, for the drink.

David: How about a drink I’m thinking of, called - Confound The Aliens?

Steve: That’s good.

David: Yeah, so you drink this drink and then…when like, say somebody’s visiting from another planet and you start speaking to them, they say, “What?”

Steve: Exactly. I think you’re onto something, mate. (belch) Pardon me. I think you’re onto something. I can’t drink all that energy drink. Do you actually drink any of…

David: Like I said, I’ve never had an energy drink. I have had that Coca Cola and coffee drink. I have an aunt who’s eighty-two degrees. Eighty-two degrees? (Steve and Dolls laugh as he corrects himself) Eighty-two years old and I’ve been thinking about her because of the heat and I spend a lot of time with her and we’re both fairly senile. And I turned her on to that Coke Black.

Steve: Yeah.

David: She calls me up, she goes, “Can we get some more of that Coke Black?” I said, “I just bought you eight bottles of that yesterday”. She goes, “Yeah…well we need some more. We don’t have any around here”, and I’m like, “You drank eight bottles of that stuff?” She says, “Yeah.” I said, “Well, aren’t you like, wired?” She’s like, “What’s ‘wired’?” I said, “Well, that’s what the kids say like, when you have a lot of nervous energy you know, and you can’t go to sleep”, and she said, “No. I just feel like…” it makes her feel like, seventy-five. You know? Well, so I guess it’s good. You know, why take those simple pleasures from a elderly aunt.

Steve: It’s not fair when you get older. People push you to one side.

David: Often people are marginalized in their old age, yes. It’s something we should all be aware of and try to extract whatever wisdom we can from people who’ve been around the block two or three times.

Steve: I’m only getting concerned about that now, cos I’m getting older.

David: You know, when you get up and you – say you’re in the kitchen – and you go into the other room to get something and then when you get to the other room, you’re like, “What am I doing here?”

Steve: Exactly. That’s it, that’s it. I’m with ya. Does that mean…is that the early stages of senile-ism?

David: I think it’s…yeah, it’s like an onset. But you know, I’m sure senility kind of sneaks up on you so slowly that you don’t even really know you’re senile when you get there.

Steve: It may…yeah. I reckon that life can’t be that cruel to you, that you actually have to feel…
David: I’ve noticed with my aunt, she’s a little, she gets a little frustrated because she knows what she wants to do, but she can’t quite put it all together, you know what I mean? But we try to make her as comfortable as possible.

Steve: Does she live in New York?

David: Yes.

Steve: In Manhattan?

David: She lives in Staten Island.

Steve: I would love to live to eighty-two. Do you think you will? Live that long?

David: Yeah, probably.

Steve: You have no body fat. That’s a good sign.

David: That’s cos I’m on the Cake Diet.

Steve: You just eat cake?

David: Yeah…and sometimes a banana.

Steve: You don’t need, you definitely don’t need a energy drink.

David: You know what I like? That green stuff that they sell. You know, like, those green…

Steve: Gasoline?

David: Nah…it’s like, they take like, vegetables and like…

Steve: Oh, yeah yeah yeah.

David: …and freeze-dry them. And then you make like, a shake out of them. And then you drink one and it’s as if you grazed on seven continents.

Steve: Hmm.

David: When you first start drinking those things, it’s like your brain gets all this nourishment and it’s kind of shocking because you realize why you were so anxious and insane your whole life and all of a sudden you have this like…I wouldn’t call it, “calm”, but kind of a feeling of like, “Oh. I’m crazy, but it’s because of hamburgers and gin.”

Steve: Do you eat healthy?

David: I eat healthy in like, probably in a New York sense. I mean, you know, everything being relative. In California, I probably would not be considered you know, a healthy eater because California, it seems to me, it’s like they put sprouts on everything and a pineapple slice. They put pineapple on the pizza here. So I can understand that in Hawaii. I think an orange would be more “California” to put on your pizza.

Steve: I’ll have to tell that to some bloke who makes pizzas.

David: A pineapple pizza guy?

Steve: Um hmm. Knock the pineapple on the head. It’s the wrong place. Only in Hawaii.

David: A pineapple should go under an upside-down cake.

Steve: Is that what they do in New York?

David: Yeah, they make pineapple upside-down cake.

Steve: Why do they call it “upside-down cake”?

David: Because you put the pineapple in the pan, right?

Steve: Yeah…

David: Then you pour all the batter on it, right? Then you cook it. And then when you’re finished, you take the pan, you turn it upside-down and you pop it off and the pineapples are on the top. But it’s really upside-down because you made it the other way.

Steve: You’re making me hungry, just talking about that.

Sylvain: It’s a little bit like a frittata.

David: I could talk about cake all day.

Steve: Is that your…do you like…

David: Well, it’s something that I deem worthy of conversation but, (band is laughing) pizza is also something…you know, it’s probably the only thing I will argue about you know, because…

Steve: You’re the expert, cos you’re from…

David: Well, no. I’m not an expert, but I think people are really entitled to their opinions about pizza. And you know, most things aren’t worth arguing about, but probably pizza is.

Steve: My favorite one is feta cheese and spinach pizza…really thin…

David: To me, that’s not even a pizza.

Steve: It’s not?

David: No. But a thin crust…okay, let’s just talk about crust. You know, because, what you put on top of a pizza is like, there’s no accounting for taste, you know? We all look at each other and say, “My god, how can you eat that?” you know, and it’s really, it’s like music. Food and music are very similar because some people like music and you just go, “My god, how could you like that?” and it’s like you know, they’ll see you eating something and say, “My god how could you like that?” So they’re very similar, cuisine and music.

Steve: Do you like the thin, then?

David: Oh, yeah. The thinner, the better. Practically non-existent.

Steve: Yeah, cos you don’t get as stuffed, right? Cos you’ve got a lot of the other stuff on top of it. We should go out sometime.

David: Yeah. We’ll go brick-oven carousing.

Steve: Do you know the Mulberry Street Pizza house? There’s one in here, you know. In Beverly Hills.

David: What’s it called?

Steve: Mulberry Street Pizza.

? Doll: Mulberry, talking about New York, or…

Steve: Yeah.

?Doll: Same guys?

Steve: Same guys, yeah. It’s pretty good. It’s a pal of mine, actually. Anyway, we’ve got to visit The Duke. We’re here with the New York Dolls, you’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox, we’ll be right back. Thanks for listening.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031 with my guests the New York Dolls, in the studio. How are you, Dollsmen?

Sylvain: We’re doin’ pretty good for a bunch of rotten bastards.

Steve: Do you need some pick me up? Can we send out for some energy drinks?

David: No, but you know, this coffee you’ve served is really splendid.

Steve: Do you want some more?

David: No. Not at the moment.

Steve: Okay.

David: I have to like, pace myself because, you know…otherwise it catches up with you.

Steve: Right.

Sylvain: I say we play a song, we pick it up a little bit.

Steve: I’m with you.

Sylvain: We stop chatting and start playing.

Steve: Let’s uh…are you friends with Tom Rundgren?

David: Yes.

Steve: He came on my show here a few months ago cos he’s with The Cars and I was talking to about the first album.

David: Um hmm.

Steve: It was interesting, what he had to say.

David: He’s a hell of a guy, Todd.

Steve: Yeah. Yeah. It was good. I liked what he said. It was…what he was saying about how the recording went. He said it was kind of crazy at the time.

David: Well, because were like, you know…we were feral. I mean, they brought us into and we thought we were in, you know, the Shoot ‘Em Out Saloon or something.

Steve: Right.

David: But you live and you learn. I mean, really…my memory of making that record was like, there was pretty lights on the board, you know…I don’t really remember too much about it. (laughter in background)

Steve: (laughs) I like that album better than the second one. For me, the first album…

David: Well, it’s not pizza, but I guess you guys could argue about it. I’ll just sit back here and tao-out. (laughs) I’m gonna tao-out of this conversation.

Steve: Do you not like any of the albums?

David: I like ‘em all. But to me, it’s apples and oranges.

Steve: What I like about the second album is, “Human Being”, the way it completely goes out of tune by the end.

David: Cos it’s so long, by the end, it’s…everybody’s out of tune.

Steve: Everyone’s grown beards by the end of it.

David: Yeah, it was long. I think it was like, five minutes long.

Steve: Longer than that, I think. But I like the way it goes out of tune at the end. It seems like it…it sounds like it starts in tune, then goes out.

Sylvain: Well the horns keep us going.

David: I think because it was like, we started the song and then it was before midnight and then we finished, it was the next day, in Australia.

Steve: Then the heat…the heat came up in the daytime, went down at night and kind of put the guitars out of tune. I gotcha.

David: I did an interview with a guy in Australia earlier, and he says that tomorrow is gonna be a really fantastic day. He was experiencing it as we spoke, and he said, “Like, don’t like, miss it…because like, set your clock.” I said, “I don’t even like to get up early”. He said, “Well, make an exception because tomorrow? I’m here already and it is rockin’.”

Steve: You know what’s funny? I was actually talking to someone about that last night, like…how could you make a bet from Australia back here before they know what the winner is? You know what I mean?

David: Yeah, like with a horserace or something?

Steve: Yeah, exactly. Put like, everything on it cos you know…

David: You could definitely do that. You’d have to have a really fast rocket, but you could do it.

Steve: I think Richard Branson’s…

David: That’s probably how he made his money.

Steve: …building one, yeah. And he runs it on tires. That’s what he runs it on is tire…

David: Ground-up tires?

Steve: Yeah. Very interesting.

David: Well, that’s better than what they use them for in like, in Haiti.

Steve: Tires, yeah. (pause) Do you know what they use ‘em there for?

David: They make those like, flaming neckties, they call them. They put them around somebody’s neck and fill them with gasoline and set them on fire.

Steve: To…people that they don’t like, obviously…

David: I don’t think that’s a very…that’s too furious.

Steve: That’s the problem! They’ve got the drink. They’ve got the drink.

David: It’s too furious for my cultured tastes.

Steve: Let’s play, what do you want to play, then? You want to play a bit of…

Sylvain: If I could say – getting back to Todd Rundgren, our engineer on the first album was Jack Douglas, who produced our new album, by the way. So there’s a little bit of that connection there…which was recorded in ’73, that album. Yeah, I remember Todd, he had this like, cute little puppy dog and I think he used to like, walk all over the control booth and all the buttons…

David: The dog actually mixed it…

Steve: Mixed the record.

Sylvain: Yeah, he mixed it (pants like a dog), so if it sounds good, this is who we have to thank.

David: You put that record on, like a lot of dogs come around.

Steve: You can hear…

David: Say you’re alone and you said, “Man, I wish some dogs would come around.” You just throw that record on, fifteen, twenty dogs would be licking your leg and chompin’ on your toenails, and god knows what else.

Steve: You can actually put that record on when you leave the house and no one’ll break in because they’ll think there’s too many dogs in there. It’s a deterrent, it’s a deterrent.

David: There’ll be a lot of dogs around the house, waiting for you to come home,

Steve: We could sell the album as a deterrent, actually. A whole new concept of selling it.

Sylvain: Maybe it’ll finally sell, then.

David: They used to have, you’d get like, a gold 8-track for like, causing twenty thousand accidents in a car or something?

Steve: I wonder how many records of that has actually sold. I’ll bet there’s a few, you know. You might not have got paid for it, but…

Sylvain: Well yeah, they’ve been selling them for thirty-five years…

David: They sold about, probably a thousand. Maybe more.

Steve: No. No, that’s got to be a…

Sylvain: I think somebody made a lot of money.

Steve: What I want to get, though…

David: The record that’s out now that you can get, that re-release, is not even us. It’s a Japanese band that meticulously imitates the intricacies of the hilarity of that record and actually re-recorded it.

Steve: Well, they’re very good at that, the Japs.

David: Roy Orbison was good at that, too.

Steve: Yeah.

David: Yeah.

Steve: Um…where can I get a picture of that picture on the back outside the Gem Spa? Who was the photographer? I want to get that picture. I love that picture.

Sylvain: Um, that was Toshi. Toshi was the photographer. Why don’t you just take it off the back of the album?

Steve: No, I want to get a big, I want to get a big one. Is he still alive, that bloke?

Sylvain: Well, we’re gonna have to fix you up, then. Uh, yes, he is. He’s still around, actually.

Steve: That’s my favorite Dolls picture.

Sylvain: We’re going to have to set you up.

David: He’s a monk, now.

Steve: Thunders looks like he’s got something down his pants. Is that true?

Sylvain: Who’s a monk? Toshi?

David: Yeah.

Sylvain: He’s a monk?

David: He’s a monk now.

Sylvain: Wow.

Steve: So, he’ll give me one for nothing, probably then.

David: He doesn’t even have anything. He’s already given it all away. (Steve laughs) He hasn’t got a care in the world.

Steve: He’s Japanese?

Sylvain: Japanese, yeah.

Steve: Do you think it’s possible though, to get one of them? I’ll buy it.

Sylvain: No, no. We’ll fix you up.

Steve: You will?
Sylvain: You got it. There’s one that’s really sweet, actually. Right around the corner from Gem Spa there was five, not phone booths, but you know, public phones…

Steve: Yeah yeah yeah.

Sylvain: …like one of those waist, up-to-the-waist type, and there was five of them.

Steve: So you all stood by them?

Sylvain: And we have, we have a picture of each of us next to, I mean, on the phone, like sort of, you know, chatting to their moms or “The Dolls Chatting To Their Moms”- how’s that? (laughs)

Steve: Yeah. I haven’t seen that picture.

Sylvain: No, no. It hasn’t been around, but there is one. It’s right around, right where now there’s like tons of you know, stalls of t-shirts and things like that. Back then was a little less…

(Syl’s words are overtaken by music as rest of The Dolls start to play “Pills”)

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox on Indie 1031, it is five til one bell and we’re here with the New York Dolls. As we speak, we have one Doll in the studio, Mr. David Johansen.

David: Whoa, but what a Doll, oh man. Oh man, oh manishevitz.

Steve: The other guys are out the room. Should we talk about them?

David: Sure. What do you want to know?

Steve: Um, I don’t know, actually.

David: Yeah. Well…

Steve: I mean, if there’s anything you want to get off your chest, now’s the time.

David: Conte’s done the work.

Steve: Who?

David: Conte, the guitar player.

Steve: Yeah.

Steve Conte: (entering the studio) Yeah, that’s me.

David: He’s done the work.

Conte: How you doin?

Steve: Hey, how you doin.

Conte: How you doin?

Steve: Hey how you doin.

Sylvain: Steve Conte.

David: Ah, they’re back now.

Steve: Hey. We was just about to talk about you.

Conte: That’s why I came in. To stop it.

Steve: Eh, fugeddaboutit. You’re obviously from Manhattan, yes?

Conte: I live there, yeah. Been there twenty years.

Steve: You know we were talking about the drummer…

Conte: My drummer?

Steve: No, the guy we was talking about in the other room.

Conte: Frankie LaRocca?

Steve: No.

Conte: Oh, oh. Ringo.

Steve: No.

David: Uh, Buddy Rich.

Conte: Greg Gerson (Steve laughs), Greg Gerson?

Steve: Yeah yeah.

Conte: Yeah, he’s a friend of mine.

Steve: Yeah yeah. He comes out here all the time on his motor, he got a motorbike out here.

Conte: Yeah yeah. He’s a maniac.

Steve: Yeah. And he’s still got that little…I think he’s moved out here…

Conte: San Diego, I believe.

Steve: Yeah.

Conte: His family’s from there.

Steve: And he’s still got that little, little apartment in Manhattan.

Conte: He’s a high-energy guy.

Steve: He is. He has tons of energy.

Conte: Oh, man…I’d hate to see him on what he used to do before.

Steve: On what he used to do, yeah. He’s a good lad. Ah, (sighs) I’m, I’m worn out.

David: We’re going to play at…we’re in the parking lot at Tower later.

Sylvain: Inside.

David: Inside?

Steve: Yeah, inside the store.

Sylvain: Inside the store.

David: They don’t do it outside?

Sylvain: No.

David: It would be better outside, wouldn’t it?

Steve: Only for big bands they do it outside.

David: Oh.

Steve: Just kidding. (laughter from all)

David: Not for like, indie bands.

Steve: They…Tower on Sunset, about seven o’clock, I believe it is, innit?

David: Yeah.

Steve: Is that right?

Sylvain: Yeah.

Steve: Where’s that guy gone? Oh. Yeah. That’ll be fun.

David: Oh, yeah.

Steve: Bundle of laughs.

David: We did, in New York the other day. It was good.

Steve: A record shop?

Sylvain: No, at Tower in New York on Tuesday.

Steve: Oh, there’s one in New York? Where’s that then?

Sylvain: On Broadway. Broadway and 3rd Street. Right on the corner, I think.

Steve: You get a good turnout?

David: Yeah, we had a good turnout.

Sylvain: Not bad. It was good, it was a great turnout, too.

David: The audience, he was a nice guy. You know, he seemed well-mannered and he was fairly clean-looking. (all laugh) He didn’t applaud a lot or make a lot of noise, but he had kind of like a satisfied look on his face.

Steve: He went off with a smile.

David: Yeah, he was kind of like, bobbing his head gently…not a smile, more like a smirk.

Steve: You’re a funny guy. I’m going to play Ral Donner, tell me you think of this bloke.

David: Yeah okay. Let’s hear him.

Steve: I think I know what you’re going to say, but you might have something different to say, I’ve got a feeling. Take it away, Mr. Shovel.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Steve: That was the New York Dolls from their album, “Too Much Too Soon”. That was “Mystery Girls”. Before that was Stray Dog and that song was called, “Chevrolet” and then we had Flaming Groovies from an album, “Teenage Head” and that song was called, “Have You Seen My Baby?”. Then we had Cliff Richard before that, doing a song called…what was that called? Oh, man. I knew I couldn’t do it. I can get through six songs…

David: It just was a really nice Cliff Richards song.

Steve: It was a nice song, wunnit?

Sylvain: It was a pretty song…

David: Whatever the heck it was called…

Steve: “Don’t Talk To Him”…

David: To Cliff?

Steve: No, that was the name of the…

David: Oh. I thought you were commanding me.

Steve: (commanding) Don’t EVER look at him when you see him, either.

David: I would never look him in the eye, I would curtsy when I saw Cliff.

Steve: Exactly.

David: Bow.

Steve: He is “Sir” now, you know.

David: I would not be surprised. I call him “Sir” when I see him. He’s a SIR Mr. Richards…

Steve: It’s actually Richard, not “Richards”.

David: I know, but in New York they put an “s” on the end of everything.

Steve: Fuggeddaboutits.

David: Yeah.

Steve: Like that? Fuggeddaboutits?

David: They say…except when you’re saying “ask”, they say “axe”. But other than that, they put an “s” on the end of everything. Except when they say, “Pizzeria”.

Steve: We had the Kinks before that, and that song was, “Where Have All The Good Times Gone?”

Sylvain: Love that song.

Steve: They have many, many, many hits.

Sylvain: Yeah.

Steve: Many good songs, The Kinks. The Delfonics before that. “A Lover’s Concerto”. The only thing wrong with that song is, it’s only two minutes long.

Sylvain: (laughing) Well, that’s as long as it should be.

Steve: No, cos the proper version’s like, three and half minutes.

Sylvain: Is it really?

Steve: They must have cut out a couple of verses or something, or the solo part, I dunno, but…

Sylvain: Maybe you got the radio cut.

David: Maybe they got tired of it and they just stopped singing.

Steve: Maybe. Maybe they run out of energy drink.

David: I don’t know if they were really expending a lot of energy at any time in their lives, The Delfonics. I think they were pretty…

Steve: He didn’t even sing, he just kind of falsettoed, didn’t he? He couldn’t be bothered to use his real voice.

David: Yeah. Well he didn’t want people to recognize him, in case he was making like, phone calls.

Steve: Exactly. Interpol was on his back.

David: Yeah.

Steve: We had Ral Donner before that. What did you think of that?

David: I liked it. I mean they had a lot of…I didn’t think it was like, overly Elvis. I mean, I think he probably could really do a great Elvis and as I was saying before, Elvis probably could have called him and said, “Hey man, I got a big session tomorrow, will you do it for me?” but I don’t think he was overtly Elvis. I heard a little Gene Pitney, a little this, a little of that. A little supercon (?) of stuff. That’s what makes a good singer.

Steve: Yeah. He’s…no one knows him. You should get a “Best Of”…

David: Sounded…kind of like a Nashville production, though…

Steve: Yeah, you were saying that. Well, it was around that time, ’63. A lot of that stuff…

David: Maybe they know him in the South.

Steve: Hmmm. You know who’s a bit fan of him is Robert Plant. He actually turned me on to him, Robert Plant. You can actually hear some of Robert Plant licks when you hear some of his other songs, you know when he does that kind of, “Ohhh…” groany stuff?

David: Hmm.

Steve: Plant, he does a lot of that. He reckons he nicked it from this bloke, see? So, if he was doing a session, he could have said to Led Zeppelin, “Hey, I’m doing a session tomorrow…can you…?” (all laugh)

Steve: The New York Dolls have a new album out. Where did you record this, in New York?

David: Yeah, on 27th Street.

Steve: What is it, a new studio or what?

David: No, it’s just all different studios on 27th Street. It just turned out that way.

Steve: It looks like there’s a lot of members in it, or is that just some other blokes just hanging around?

David: Just some people who were hanging around. You know, the entourage.

Steve: It’s very Dolls-like cover. It’s good.

David: Well, it’s a Dolls record.

Steve: You’ve kept the dream alive.

David: See, this Dolls record looks incredibly like a Dolls record. It looks like you could eat it and if you got indigestion, you could eat around the sides because it’s kind of like Pepto Bismol-pink.

Steve: Yeah…it’s good, it’s good. I’m glad you didn’t like, do something artistic.

David: No. (band laughs in background)

Steve: You know what I mean? (laughs)

David: You know, sometimes not doing something artistic is an art in itself. You understand what I’m saying?

Steve: Yeah. Well, I’m glad you weren’t on the front like, holding an apple in the desert or something.

David: Oh yeah, or like, an airplane, like a silver airplane…without any windows…with a hood ornament from Pontiac.

Steve: You could have…had the set of like, “The Streets Of San Francisco” or something. You could have went down that road.

David: We could have done a Quinn Martin Production, (laughter from all) but Jonesy, the way I look at it is, if we did a Quinn Martin right now, where would we have to go?

Steve: Exactly.

David: In other words, we’d be done because out of perfection, nothing can be made.

Steve: Nothing to look forward to, I hear ya. Forgive me, forgive me for bringing that idea up.

David: That’s okay. It’s definitely on the back burner but when that comes to fruition, it’s gonna be a sayonara song.

Steve: What label is this on? Roadrunner Records. Is it records, or…yeah. Roadrunner Records.

David: The Roadrunner CD Corporation and the Acme Fireworks Company of America.

Steve: And it just came out, right? When did it come out?

David: Yesterday.

Steve: Yesterday, excellent.

David: The day before yesterday, if you want to be like a, a completeist.

Steve: Okay, so it came out on the 23rd then was it?

David: Wednesday.

Steve: I think that was the 25th.

David: I’m not good with numbers but I’m good with Wednesday.

Steve: It’s not a double album is it? It’s a double album.

David: No, I think one of them’s a dvd of us like, mucking around in the studio.

Steve: Oh, okay.

David: Making like, secret hand signals and pulling each other’s hair.

Steve: Are you guys playing anywhere?

Sylvain: San Diego, next week I think.

Steve: Next week?

David: Some festival in San Diego.

Steve: Oh, you’re doing the Street Scene?

Sylvain: Yeah yeah yeah.

David: I guess that’s what it is.

Steve: That’s good. That’s a big thing. We did that about three years ago, the Pistols. It was great.

David: Is that anything like the one that we did over here in Silverlake?

Steve: Bigger than that. It’s bigger than that. The same kind of thing but more, more people. That’ll be great. And that’s it, or you’re not going to go on the road to…

David: Well, we’ve been playing consistently since we got back together two years ago, so we were just…where were we, we were in Scandinavia last week and then before that we were in the Benelux countries. We’re very big in Luxembourg where they cut the diamonds. We had a guy in the audience there…with payis.

Steve: Would pay ya?

David: With payis. (laughter from band)

Steve: Pay you to do what?

Sylvain: Payis.

David: The guy who came to the show in Luxembourg. He had payis, you know those curls that you have in front of your ear that come down like this…

Steve: No.

David: It’s a Hassidic thing. But it’s a hot look in Luxembourg now.

Steve: It’s all the rage in Luxembourg.

David: Well, at least with this guy. I don’t know. I didn’t see anybody else.

Steve: It’s the beginning of the trend.

David: All I saw was the audience which was, like I said. We get a late crowd, usually. November, December…

Steve: There is a lot of transvestites in Luxembourg. Did you know that?

David: Perhaps this wasn’t a man at all.

Steve: Right. We went there once and it was, we went to this club and it was just full of transvestites. Pretty ones.

David: Did you ever take a long walk in the Benelux countries?

Steve: Um, I haven’t done it in a long time.

David: Neither have I. I’d like to sometime. If I had like, a good pair of shoes.

Steve: I’ll have to sort you out with some…something. (laughs) Let’s go visit The Duke, we’re here with the New York Dolls. You’re listening to Jonesy’s Jukebox, thanks for listening.

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